I won't be eating meal with her anymore

Philippines
December 19, 2015 5:26am CST
I just hate it and all this time I thought grandma was just eating slow. It turns out she was monitoring how we all eat in the dinning room, and then chooses to control our dishes so that there will be left overs the next day. Another so that she can keep the food she likes or prevent mom's visitors from getting any meal accommodation. While having a meal. she offers me dish here and there then back stabs that we eat so much and that's why we are fat? If there's one thing I hate her staying here it's because she's a controlling person who minds over everything, which pisses me off. Though with her presence made me appreciate my mom even more, I don't know how long we can put up with her. So from today I won't eat with her on the same time, I don't like others controlling how I eat.
8 people like this
12 responses
@marguicha (78135)
• Chile
19 Dec 15
My grandmothers were controlling, one way or another. They only had power at home as they did not work outside of the house. But they exercised that power in a manipulative way. I do hope we are better than them.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Dec 15
Hello @marguicha like right now my brother had given us some dish, she only took what so little that she wanted them to take the rest back! i find really insulting, when you are given something you just take it all as sign of gratitude..i felt they were disrespected.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (78135)
• Chile
20 Dec 15
@Letranknight2015 Sometimes odd behavior is part of aging. Has she always been like that?
• Philippines
20 Dec 15
@marguicha yeah..always only this time she couldn't force me to eat with her nor go to church with her.. very manipulative person.she believes she needs to be followed because she has money, that's ridiculous.
1 person likes this
@zebra2222 (4885)
• United States
19 Dec 15
You are doing the right thing. Don't let her be controlling and change who you are.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Dec 15
Hello @zebra2222 , I don't understand why but i do my best to control what i eat, what she's doing is inappropriate.
@Hatley (154508)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Dec 15
@Letranknight2015 yes extremely so is she by anychance becoming a bit senile? that could explain a lot. Just tell her to back off, you wish to eat in peace
• Philippines
20 Dec 15
@Hatley oh, it's okay i won't say it like that. I do like it when she offers me food, i just didn't like what the strategy she was making. i mean it's my right to eat and don't like her controlling it.
@dodoazo (7941)
• Philippines
20 Dec 15
Well, a mother is always a mother. We shouldn't ignore her and give her a due respect for that matter.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Dec 15
I do respect her but she doesn't respect what's going on in this house @dodoazo or maybe you didn't experience any of that. I've already raised to follow orders but this is just too much of her, at least my mom respect my own freedom.
@dodoazo (7941)
• Philippines
21 Dec 15
@Letranknight2015 My late mother isn't that kind though she sometimes demanded on what to do, but she listened if she's not right or came short of it.
@Hatley (154508)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Dec 15
good lord I would hate that myself Letran, Grandma or not.Nobody should treat people like that while they are eating. J would have to say something to Grandmother I'm afraid. letran do not let anyone control how you eat or what you eat. Im glad it makes you appreciate your own mom. That sounds like a very hectic way to eat.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Dec 15
Her presence actually made me realize how lucky I am to have a mother like her @Hatley . made me think how blessed I am to have a parent who doesn't have problem with what you chose, and doesn't contradict what you think. Grandma is obviously the opposite, which is why i don't talk to her much anymore. one week 2 weeks of her stay here and it's starting to piss me off.
@Raine38 (8907)
• United States
20 Dec 15
Why is she like that about food? My grandma is the exact opposite of yours. She would offer her grandchildren heapful and plateful of foods that we are the ones who have to tell her we had enough. My grandma is one to worry that her grandkids, young or old alike, get to eat on time. Maybe her budget is tight lately? Is anybody helping her with the groceries or expenses? Maybe that's her way of letting you guys know she sort of needs help with the expenses.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Dec 15
Hello @Raine38 It's not supposed to be her problem with the food, but with dinner comes with tissues and paper towels and wrapping papers crap! we didn't have those expenses when she was around. She's not helping, she thought she is but she's even more expensive than five visitors combine.
@jaboUK (48782)
• United Kingdom
19 Dec 15
It sounds as if your grandmother is spoiling your life (and your mom's?)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Dec 15
I don't need that from her, i don't like that one bit @jaboUK we are adults already and know what we want to eat and how we eat it.
1 person likes this
@amnabas (9778)
• Karachi, Pakistan
19 Dec 15
Well the grandmas are always happen to be strict .You let me remembered my late grandma she was so strict.ohhh myy.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Dec 15
Hello @amnabas maybe when we were kids that would have been applicable, but were not children anymore and i feel insulted everytime she does that.
• United States
19 Dec 15
It is not even her home and she does this? I don't think it's very nice. I wonder if she realizes how she is acting?
• Philippines
19 Dec 15
She thinks that if were using her money, she has the right to authority, which is so wrong. @ScribbledAdNauseum she always does this when ever she visits, thats why I was never happy when she came here last month and my aunt noticed that immediately. but nothing compare as to how my aunts suffered over the last decades with her, they must be celebrating their christmas now with abundance of joy now that she's gone out of their site. well, she thinks she can compensate it with money, and not to apologize. I thought she had change now that she's 87 or something..that one mylotter was right, they don't change when they get old.
• United States
19 Dec 15
@Letranknight2015 No, as people get older they get more set in their ways. Even if they are wrong, it does no good to try to argue with them over it. I would tell her that she doesn't need to help pay for things if all she is going to do is micro manage everything.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Dec 15
@ScribbledAdNauseum some how I wished mom refused her offer to financed the business that we have today. maybe it would have prompted me to still look for job instead of looking over this construction of the commercial space. but i still think it's wrong for her to do so, i don't think she ask anymore why i skip proper meal.
@ridingbet (34516)
• Philippines
20 Dec 15
maybe she has the history of food deprivation during her childhood, that is why she thinks of the food for tomorrow?!
• Philippines
20 Dec 15
She mentioned it so many times how spoiled she was @ridingbet and i didn't even recall for a second as to how she chose to save her food. it's her current sickness that makes her eat less. she chose to deprive herself from eating because she didn't eat on time before now she has ulcer problem.she's just being controlled person.
@OreoBrownie (3290)
• Winder, Georgia
19 Dec 15
Hi Letran! It's great here. Pointless Questions here from before. I can hardly believe your grandmother could be so cruel. I'd be showing her the door to a nursing home or something. Your house, your rules. She needs to respect that.
• Philippines
20 Dec 15
Hello @OreoBrownie I don't know why my aunts never took her to the nursing home, but certainly were not trained to take care of some one so manipulative. she thinks she's being budgeted and concerned w/ the food but she's not, my mom never had to do that. though she sometimes tells me to save my food for later, but never to the point were she literally had to take a small piece and save it for some one.
@scheng1 (24957)
• Singapore
19 Dec 15
I think she has gone through very difficult times when food is very scarce, and she never changes. This is common for generations who have survived the wars, and they always fear that they will be poor again.
• Philippines
19 Dec 15
Hello @scheng1 that wasn't the problem when it was just mom and me. we had different and separate meals, we never had problem with food, in fact i just buy my own food while she cooks her own. she's even more expensive as she ask to buy food and then cooked then when she sees fit. . she thinks she's sharing but it's more controlling to me.
@lokisdad (4302)
• United States
4 Jan 16
I understand how you feel nobody wants to be told how to eat and when and how much. However she is old and sometimes old people see things differently. Older people especially those who grew up poor and survived things like the great depression see the newer generations as wasteful when it comes to food. They perceive us to be over eating piggies. In our house we are big coffee drinkers mostly the wife.Here uncle says we waste coffee because we make and drink so much we go through a 10 oz pack of coffee in a few days time he sees it as wasteful although we drink it all he has once cup a day maybe two at most.