If you were my future graduate teacher and receive a lette like this,will u accept me to be your student?
By kellysjdym
@kellysjdym (13)
Yantai, China
February 21, 2016 9:58am CST
Dear Professor Chen,
Really sorry to disturb you.
I’m a student who used to e-mail you several months ago.And my name is WangKaili. Now I am studying for my undergraduate degree in Binzhou Medical University in Yantai. Several months ago, when Professor LiWanzhong ,who used to be my pharmaceutics master in Weifang Medical University, came to know that I selected Yantai University as my target school,he strongly recommended that I learn from you. Joyfully,I made up my mind and strengthen my determination after searching for your research fields.
Also, with keen interest for the research process and science of dosage form design,I chose pharmaceutics as my specialized course of postgraduate examination. But,I have to admit that my total score is only 298.To be honest,I know my score is not excellent at all, but I hope, in the near and far future, I can make full use of time to make up what I lost and missed.
Currently, the direction of my graduation project has settled, which is about NLC(Nanostructure Lipid Carrier).The main drug we use is Lornoxicam.We take Stearic acid,Oleic acid and Lecithin as ancillary drugs to prepare Lornoxicam nanostructured lipid carriers.And then oberve its property(such as the shape,size,potential of nanoparticles , the stability of the drug and the Entrapment Efficiency of Lornoxicam )and conduce transdermal permeation test in vitro(sorry for having not reached this step. Could you please forgive me just have a little knowledge about permeation test now. I just can say little information about it ).I really appreciate my teacher giving me this opportunity to step on the way to explore the world of pharmaceutics.
Dear Professor Chen, can I be lucky enough and competent enough to have this precious opportunity also from you? Because I want to go further.
3 people like this
5 responses
@MALUSE (69409)
• Germany
22 Feb 16
@kellysjdym Humourous! I can't believe it. You don't write humorous letters when you apply for such a job. Delete the first sentence as well "Really sorry to disturb you."
Space the letter more clearly.
Find someone who knows English well and can go over the letter and check grammar and vocabulary.
@kellysjdym (13)
• Yantai, China
22 Feb 16
@MALUSE I want to cry now.T.T
do you think i need to delete the first sentence?in fact,I just want to show my politeness.. ok I 'll delete it.
so,what should I write to replace it?
what do u usually write in the front of a letter,in a formal way?
thanks a lot.
@kellysjdym (13)
• Yantai, China
22 Feb 16
Oh,this is also what I worried about.I just want to be a little humorous.This teacher I e-mailed to is in Harvord University now.I'm thinking about to choose a better time to send this e-mail because of the time differece(about 13 hours).So I wrote down as this.But what you said is really right,I prepare to delete this sentence or revise it.Thank you very much.
@Shavkat (137220)
• Philippines
21 Feb 16
Frankly speaking my dear friend, I think the passages have some grammatical errors and take note of the proper way of doing a formal letter. I am not sure if this composition is translated from Chinese characters to English language. I am sorry. I had just given my constructive criticism.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (137220)
• Philippines
23 Feb 16
@kellysjdym I have a suggestion. There are are so many English online tutorial sites in your country. They can help you out to correct the typographical errors and the construction of the sentences. I am sorry. I don't have enough time to have some corrections in your post. In my country, we don't need to send a formal letter to the professors. Since they will assess the requirements given to them.
@kellysjdym (13)
• Yantai, China
22 Feb 16
thanks for your patient reading,my friend.To be honest,this is the first time for me to write a formal English letter.as a Chinese,most of the students choose to send e-mail by using mother language,but I feel my own English level is not too bad and want to give him a good impression.So I choose write in English.but,finally found it's not an easy way...made too many mistakes in the letter.oh,by the way,dear friend,could u please point out some mistakes from it?even one is ok.either grammatical error or improper use of words. Thanks a lot.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Feb 16
It s tolong and youmneed paragraph breaks, You are in essence intoducing yorself to the tea cher.Shorten it and just
'five enough of the pertinent fa cts of what you hav e learned.
You really do not need this as you just pick your courses and
the teachers.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Feb 16
@kellysjdym no those show what knowledge you have so keep them.
@jaboUK (64361)
• United Kingdom
22 Feb 16
@kellysjdym Yes that 'sorry to disturb you' is completely unnecessary.
@kellysjdym (13)
• Yantai, China
22 Feb 16
yes, a solid block.u are so humurous.haha.I forget to pay attention to this.Thanks alot.
and what do u think of if I delete the first paragraph"sorry to disturb you."??
Could u give me some advice?:)
1 person likes this
@kellysjdym (13)
• Yantai, China
22 Feb 16
Can u point out any mistakes in the letter?thanks.
Because I believe there are many error there.
1 person likes this
@Bhaskarjhborah (735)
• India
23 Feb 16
@kellysjdym I can't point out errors because I am not good enough in english language.
