Family Lies

By Lola
@Lolaze (3165)
United States
April 17, 2016 6:14pm CST
I've recently found out something that has me quite upset. For years my mom has been telling me about how horrid people our extended family are. She cut off all contact with her side of the family (my 5 aunts and their children) when I was 11 after she and one sister had a disagreement. I didn't see anyone related to her for 10 years until one cousin's wedding and then promptly had them removed from my life again after 4 hours. Ten years later, I saw them again at my dad's funeral. I only noticed something wasn't right when, after my dad died, my mom began to say more and more things about his side of the family. Suddenly, she was saying almost the exact same things about them that she'd said about her family... I knew she had always hated my older half sister and said awful things about her, but the other things about that side of the family were new. Its taken me a year and a half to figure it out, but my mom has been playing me since I was 11. Her family doesn't hate me, my sister doesn't hate me, and my dad's side of the family doesn't hate me. The answer to this problem is actually pretty simple – my mom hates people in general and doesn't want to be around anyone. The easiest way to do this is simply cut them out of her life and since I'm currently living with her and basically have all my life...it was easiest to feed me lies to get me to hate them and think that they hate me. I've been in touch with 3 cousins and my sister recently. I've not told them what my mom has been up to but I think a couple know.
6 people like this
6 responses
@sharon6345 (121296)
• United States
17 Apr 16
You need to get to know them for yourself.
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (65991)
• Roseburg, Oregon
17 Apr 16
As long as they are in your life again. Than that is all that matters.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (97947)
• United States
17 Apr 16
It sounds as if your mom needs some mental health help. It is not good to live on lies. I am glad you are beginning to have some family relationships.
@Lolaze (3165)
• United States
18 Apr 16
She certainly does, but she will never get it.
@kaka135 (14016)
• Malaysia
18 Apr 16
I am sorry to hear that. Glad that you are now re-connected with your other family members. I am sure your mom did not feel good for hating those families and also telling you lies, but perhaps she chose to do so as she thought it's the best for you and herself. Sometimes, when someone is filled with hatred, they just can't see things clearly. Hope she'll be fine.
• United States
17 Apr 16
I think we all have someone in our family that does the exact same thing. Some aren't as bad. I know a few that will welcome you with open arms when you see them, then talk you down when you are not around. I didn't know anything about my grandfather's side of the family. It wasn't until I was a teenager that I knew there were family members that I had never heard of before.
@Hate2Iron (7700)
• Canada
17 Apr 16
That is so sad. Having family around can be everything. I hope that it will all clear up one day!