Fighting Talk or Silly Spats?

@owlwings (39751)
Cambridge, England
April 20, 2016 7:56am CST
Kids will be kids and kids often get into arguments. It’s only natural and we expect it, of course, and as parents or teachers we often have to mediate, show them alternative solutions and calm them down. When people reach ‘the age of maturity’, however, we expect them to have learnt the basic lessons and it is just embarrassing to see two grown people, whom we otherwise might respect, engage in a mud-slinging, name-calling contest in public. Sometimes our initial reaction is to just walk away and let them sort it out but at other times there is a strong wish to knock their heads together to make them see sense! In real life, I find that if I show my embarrassment and just leave them alone for a while, people generally come to their senses and patch it up somehow. If the argument is an online one, it is both more embarrassing (because what was said is there for everyone to read) and more difficult to deal with. How do you deal with this kind of embarrassment, especially if one or both parties are people with whom you are friends or, at least, have hitherto respected?
18 people like this
16 responses
@jaboUK (55053)
• United Kingdom
20 Apr 16
I know just what you are talking about and I ignore both of them. I certainly wouldn't jump in with my 'two-pennyworth'.
3 people like this
@owlwings (39751)
• Cambridge, England
20 Apr 16
I'm very much inclined to agree with you. This post wasn't intended to be my 'two penny worth' but has clearly been seen as such by some.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
20 Apr 16
Honestly when you know someone for years and you know their character and someone new comes in and trashes the person we all know and love-it annoys me. I hate confrontation and try to avoid it all costs but if I said something to the person it would not be nice and I would say some things i would regret which is the only reason I am not engaging the conversation. The person we all love and care about knows where I stand and I don't have to say a word.
3 people like this
@MsTickle (24993)
• Australia
20 Apr 16
As a practicing coward, I back away as smartly as possible.
2 people like this
• Philippines
20 Apr 16
@Corbin5 (115891)
• United States
20 Apr 16
Leaving the area is my way of dealing with those who engage in nasty arguments. I was raised by two narcissists and the fights were epic. Amazing that all three of my parent's children chose to be nothing like them.
2 people like this
@JolietJake (51107)
• United States
20 Apr 16
Ignore it and let them sort it out. I for one won't sit by, unheard, while someone attempts to drag me through the mud.
2 people like this
@mammots (3271)
• Philippines
20 Apr 16
In real life i ususally call for a dialogue between the two conflicting parties with me as moderator. A dialogue is the best way to settle differences.
1 person likes this
@owlwings (39751)
• Cambridge, England
20 Apr 16
A dialogue (often with an impartial moderator present) is always preferable because it is more likely that the two parties will emerge with a better understanding of each other. They may, of course, still differ but should at least be able to agree on a common solution.
1 person likes this
@acelawrites (12285)
• Philippines
24 Apr 16
I learned to just leave them alone and don't meddle to help settle it. It is hard to get yourself in a conflict and be "sandwhiched" between two "warring" persons.
1 person likes this
@yalul070 (1750)
• Manila, Philippines
21 Apr 16
where i'm not directly affected, i just do nothing. but i'm so familiar with this. this is what's happening in our local politics right now because it's election season.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (69366)
• India
21 Apr 16
I will leave them there. I know someone who took the side of the one I was having an argument with and that was the end of my interaction with that person.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Apr 16
perhaps those adults'd not the guidance'n their youth 'n learnt more "civilized" ways to handle their disagreements. then 'gain, some jest seem to feed'n the attention such sometimes brings. ya know, jest how a young'un does - if'n they can't get the attention from their folks fer doin' somethin' good, they'll do somethin' bad regardless'f the outcome? i'd jest walk 'way. 'n fact, some'f tried to drag me into the drama via p.m.'s 'n i've told 'em i aint pickin' sides 'n they jest needed to work't out among 'emselves.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (47880)
• Centralia, Missouri
20 Apr 16
people I guess aren't taught how to act when disagreeing!
1 person likes this
@hora_fugit (5435)
• India
20 Apr 16
Well it doesn't feel good when you don't know what everyone is talking about.... Usually I keep on sidesteps during such arguments.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Apr 16
We avoid people, it's quite simple! We don't get personally involved with neighbors. We stick to ourselves so we don't see things like that.
1 person likes this
@hereandthere (32766)
• Philippines
20 Apr 16
some of the things you witness online stays with you.
1 person likes this
@Mike197602 (13911)
• United Kingdom
20 Apr 16
I join inno embarrassment here. If it's 2 people I like I want them to sort it out.
1 person likes this
@carebear29 (28647)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
20 Apr 16
Maybe its just both. Kids usually fight for competition between each other. I know my brothers did
1 person likes this