Dont Be a Pushy Parent
By minisam
@miniam (9154)
Bern, Switzerland
May 23, 2016 4:51pm CST
It seems all parents want their sons to be footballers.Any little boy here will tell you he want to play soccer professionally when he grows up.If you ask him why,he will say *because daddy wants me to be a professional*
What happened to being a truck driver,firefighter,policeman,teacher,doctor?those were the dreams kids had back then
Today while going down the lift,my neighbour was with her 2 sons on the way to soccer practice, 1 is 4 years old and was crying.
It was raining and cold and the poor kid just did not want to go.I feel parents are trying to live their dreams,what they could have been/should have been through their kids.
Do you feel it`s right to push(not encourage but push) kids so much?
12 people like this
14 responses
@cheerfulnuts (604)
• Philippines
25 May 16
@cacay1 You're right. Parents are there to guide, not to dictate.
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (83237)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
25 May 16
@cheerfulnuts ,That what makes children rebellious if dictated. When they grow, they will know if what parents like them to do is better than their choice.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (160056)
• Boise, Idaho
23 May 16
I agree with you. Some parents seem to think it is just something all kids have to do. I can see making them responsible and if they said they wanted to be in a group then they do need to stay with it. But, to push a child to do something that they don't want to do is horrible.
2 people like this
@celticeagle (160056)
• Boise, Idaho
24 May 16
@miniam ....Parents need to let a child choose. Within reason of course. But pushing them to do things is awful. The kid feels obligated and the parent is oblivious to what the child even wants. Good communication with children is important.
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
24 May 16
The bad thing about pushing, you can push them for years but one day they will come and tell you to the face *i never wanted to be this or that and you made me to, i have no satisfaction doing it anymore* then the parents feel disappointed not knowing this should not have been.
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
24 May 16
@celticeagle
That's what l missed when l was growing up, there was never communication,reasoning or support.We could not even beg to say no l don't want this,what mum said was law and nothing else.God knows l was a sad little girl growing up.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
23 May 16
I would not push my children to do anything like that if they didn't want to do it. However, if they asked to join something and wanted to quit in the middle I would not allow that either, then your teaching them it's okay to give up when something gets too hard or isn't much fun anymore. If you ask to start it then you will finish out the year.
2 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
23 May 16
@miniam Like with all aspects of parenting there has to be a balance with everything.
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
23 May 16
@LovingMyBabies
but you will agree that many parents ignore this simple rule in parenting.
2 people like this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
23 May 16
My mum was so pushy, nothing we did was ever good enough and i feel if she were not so pushy, my life could have been different for better or worse i guess l`ll never know.
What i know is that even today, l hate it so much if anyone is trying to push me.
2 people like this
@cheerfulnuts (604)
• Philippines
24 May 16
It's sad that some parents push their kids too much. I don't think it's right. They should let the kid decide what they want to be in the future. It's okay to let them play football, to give them more exposure to different things, because that's how they'd discover about their likes and dislikes. But push them? It's very wrong and it's not fair to the kid.
1 person likes this
@cheerfulnuts (604)
• Philippines
25 May 16
@miniam And if they ended up not being good at football (or whatever activity their parents want them to do), that would be very frustrating to them.
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
25 May 16
@cheerfulnuts
It will be less frustrating for the kids if this was not their dream it will be more frustrating to the parents.
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
24 May 16
totally agree,let them experience different things and along the way they may discover what they want to do with their lives then be there to support, but making kids feel like their dream is nothing because they want to be something beneath what you expect them to be is so wrong,.
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27169)
• Australia
24 May 16
I don't think I'm pushy with my kids, but I think they think I nag sometimes... Well, my boys are sometimes not too descriptive when they talk to me... They just have short or even just a one-word answer of no, yes, okay, maybe, etc... So I have to push them a little to give me more details... 
2 people like this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
24 May 16
I dont want a 1 word answer either if im talking to someone and will tell them so, will let them know the less words they use to answer me if i feel the answer should have been better, the more we have to keep talking about it till l have an answer so they better *answer* me so we can move on to other things.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
25 May 16
I wouldn't push them but I would encourage them to join a sport. You learn some important life skills with playing with a team. Both my boys followed in their Dad ( who played and coached his whole life) footsteps and played American football but didn't make it a career.
1 person likes this
@CRK109 (14558)
• United States
24 May 16
I think little discussions are key. See what interests the children have and parents can talk about their own interests to see how the children react! Great information can be passed back and forth and rather than being pushy, parents can gently nudge and then pull back if they see that the children really have no interest! :)
1 person likes this
@CRK109 (14558)
• United States
25 May 16
@miniam You are so right! Most kids know from a pretty early age what appeals to them for their life and parents need to sit back and listen more. I remember how hard it was for me growing up. And even my niece. She wanted to be a doctor and her parents tried talking her out of it because her education would cost so much. But she's a doctor now and I'm glad she was able to do what she really wanted.
1 person likes this
