A Thin Line
@AnnaAutopsy (705)
United States
June 17, 2016 1:23pm CST
A thin line is what has been keeping me going day by day, and I'm starting to feel as if that line is breaking. I'm being thrown over the edge, ever so slowly.
I help other people 24/7, literally, but no one finds the time to help me...If they do, the subject always reverts back to them.
I am alone, but I am also accompanied by writing. The words on the paper seem so thick, and meaningful.
I find myself growing tired more and more each day, so tired that I cannot bare the thought of helping anyone anymore.
I don't want to be selfish, but I can't keep going like this.
It's far more than just depression, it's reality. There are so many things going on and so many people just weighing me down with more problems, I feel like I'm drowning but watching everyone else breathe.
I wish I could talk to a friend, but I don't honestly have one...
I wish I could help other people, but I can't even help myself right now.
I wish I could just get over things as easily as other people do, but there's just so much at one time. It's hard.
A thin line is so easy to break, and it leaves you over-reacting to the smallest things that won't even matter the next day. I don't know how to deal with it, other than keep walking through the storm until I see a glimpse of light...but my legs are getting hurt, and I'm running on Empty.
I refuse to give up, only because I never want to be stuck in this particular place for too long...
If there is anyone out there that has or even is going through something similar to this don't, for one minute, think you're alone. I know far too well how difficult this really is...
This thin line has been holding me for a while, but if I add another ounce it will snap and I will fall. It's time I start piecing together the remains this puzzle, but I just hope I didn't lose too many pieces.
If you are just stopping by and happen to read this, please don't let this judge who I am as a person..I am merely just going through a very difficult time right now, not only did I need to vent, but I wanted other people to know that they are not alone in this, maybe even I just needed reassurance that I wasn't alone either...
2 people like this
3 responses
@JamesHxstatic (29343)
• Eugene, Oregon
5 Jul 16
You may be feeling pretty bad (as you wrote this), but you write very well.
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
17 Jun 16
I tthink a lot of people are going through this or similar and I know I have but I have stopped to think of a post to write ten things Im grateful for and this made me search my soul. Yes I was feeling down and alone then I real,ikzed hey Im not paralyzed, Im nit in a wheel chair, I do not have parkingston disease, I am not senile. Hey I am grateful that I do not have these things. I looked ouit the sunwas shinimg. I had money in my purse, I was not blind amd O begam to feel better.
I am not belitting how you feel or judging b ut you need to reacn out to someone a friend or a best loved relative talk tel,lthem how yoy feel then listen to them somewhereyou will find yourselfand y ou will feel alive again. when yuou give to others without wanting return the return will flood over you and you will know you are now okay. I offer friendship; so will others just hold out yo ur hjand we are all here for you
@AnnaAutopsy (705)
• United States
17 Jun 16
I must say, this lifted my spirits.
I do not have friends or any close relatives to talk to about any of this, but I am grateful for all of you here on MyLot. Without this site, I probably would have no outlet or any kind of support.
I know you are not trying to belittle or judge, but you are right. Things could always be worse, but sometimes it is hard to play with the hand you're dealt.
Thank you so much for leaving this message on my post, it helped more than you could imagine.
@Riccomama (14)
• United States
17 Jun 16
I am having a difficult time as well. Feel useless. Feel like my marriage is falling apart. Been married almost 30 years but he seems uninterested, and frankly, I am too. But I have no job, my children are raised (the reason I have no job, raised them). No experience, no parents, no where to go.
@AnnaAutopsy (705)
• United States
17 Jun 16
Just kind of stuck in a rut, huh?
I learned that in marriage, you're not always going to be in love because you'll fall in and out of it but that's where commitment comes in.
Could always try something new sometime to spice up the days, or even just openly talk about how you both feel and figure out where to go from there.
You could always get a part-time job to change the routine a little bit.
Just a change of scenery and routine might help, after 30 years I can imagine you'd run out of things to talk about sometimes, but you do have a rare lasting relationship, it's hard to find that now-a-days.
