Family Dinner
By patgalca
@patgalca (18181)
Orangeville, Ontario
August 15, 2016 5:41pm CST
What in the world does it take to get the whole family to be home at the same time and sit down for dinner?
First, yelling at my husband who told me he was going golfing this afternoon. I said that he had checked out of this family a long time ago. He said he would be home for dinner and I said I wasn't going to hold my breath. He didn't go golfing. 
The elder daughter (the difficult one), came in from work and I asked her if she would be home for dinner. She was with me yesterday when I bought the pork roast so she knew I was cooking a nice dinner. She muttered that she would be home and I told her I wanted a family dinner because her father is going away in less than 2 weeks and then her sister leaves for school in 3 weeks. She promptly went up to her room and fell asleep.
The younger daughter arrived home from work and I asked her what time she had to go to ref soccer. I actually remembered. You'd laugh if you knew how often I forget their plans/schedules (use the dang calendar ladies!). She said she had to leave at 6:15. Oh boy! I thought it would be later. I had the pork in a slow cooker. I had started it on low for an hour and then turned it to high. It was in there for exactly 5 hours. It was cooked but probably would have been moister had it cooked longer. But it was good.
5:45 I went up and told both girls dinner was ready telling my older one that her sister had to leave in half an hour. Did she come down for dinner? Nope. In fact she came down at 6:30, pretty much as soon as the kitchen and dining room were cleared out. It's almost as if she doesn't want to eat with us. I am so pissed off at her.
Hubby and younger thanked me for dinner (as they always do) and I thanked hubby for not going golfing.
It's not that big of a family. It shouldn't be hard to get us all together for dinner. I could strangle my older daughter who seems to be avoiding eating dinner with us. I feel like my family is slipping away and we still live under the same roof! 
The elder daughter (the difficult one), came in from work and I asked her if she would be home for dinner. She was with me yesterday when I bought the pork roast so she knew I was cooking a nice dinner. She muttered that she would be home and I told her I wanted a family dinner because her father is going away in less than 2 weeks and then her sister leaves for school in 3 weeks. She promptly went up to her room and fell asleep.
The younger daughter arrived home from work and I asked her what time she had to go to ref soccer. I actually remembered. You'd laugh if you knew how often I forget their plans/schedules (use the dang calendar ladies!). She said she had to leave at 6:15. Oh boy! I thought it would be later. I had the pork in a slow cooker. I had started it on low for an hour and then turned it to high. It was in there for exactly 5 hours. It was cooked but probably would have been moister had it cooked longer. But it was good.
5:45 I went up and told both girls dinner was ready telling my older one that her sister had to leave in half an hour. Did she come down for dinner? Nope. In fact she came down at 6:30, pretty much as soon as the kitchen and dining room were cleared out. It's almost as if she doesn't want to eat with us. I am so pissed off at her.
Hubby and younger thanked me for dinner (as they always do) and I thanked hubby for not going golfing.
It's not that big of a family. It shouldn't be hard to get us all together for dinner. I could strangle my older daughter who seems to be avoiding eating dinner with us. I feel like my family is slipping away and we still live under the same roof! 9 people like this
9 responses
@crazyhorseladycx (39515)
• United States
15 Aug 16
bless yer heart. yer lucky yer fella stayed home, mine would'a jest went'n golfed anyhow. i dunno what's goin' with yer eldest daughter? depression? somethin' troublin' her? but, i'd tell her that she could eat when called 'r go hungry. yepperz, i 'twas that kinda momma. 'r 't the very least, clean'p her dishes 'n such when she's done.
perhap y'all need to jest sit down 'n visit fer a bit 'bout what's goin', what's 'xpected'n the like? 
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18181)
• Orangeville, Ontario
16 Aug 16
I was very surprised that she did clean everything up in the kitchen as I left the whole meal in all their respective pots sitting on the counter. She loaded the dishwasher and set it and put any leftovers in the fridge.
And I was VERY surprised hubby stayed home. He never EVER would give up golf for something so trivial but I was pretty dern angry with him.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18181)
• Orangeville, Ontario
16 Aug 16
@crazyhorseladycx I'm guessing that he either couldn't get a tee time, or couldn't find someone to go with him. My angry words may have had no affect on him at all.
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39515)
• United States
16 Aug 16
@patgalca she did?? give her a big hug from me, hon. shows she's jest not completely non-family, eh? i still wish that'cha could speak with her'n neutral grounds to see what's 'p with all the changes.
don't matter how angry i get, the hubs's gonna golf/hunt whene'er he wishes....i raised him wrong!
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
20 Aug 16
Sadly society has made things that way. We live in a 24/7 society that can't take a break or close for nothing.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18181)
• Orangeville, Ontario
21 Aug 16
My massage therapist was telling me the other day how something is so wrong that everyone is so tired. The way the world is today with economies and such, and new technology, etc. we are all wound up and busy and wanting more money to buy more things. I wished I lived in simpler times sometimes.
1 person likes this
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
21 Aug 16
@patgalca I agree more simplicity is needed in modern life. If anything can we get Sundays back where very little was open and people could spend a mandatory day with their family, at home, or just relaxing...
1 person likes this
@Fishmomma (11377)
• United States
16 Aug 16
Time goes so fast and children are grown and gone from your home. My daughters are grown and one lives at home and the other is married living in another state. My daughter works an unusual work schedule that changes every week, so meal planning is different every day she is home in the evening. My husband likes to eat fast food, so he eats whenever, so if I want to have a family meal its more likely on the weekend.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18181)
• Orangeville, Ontario
21 Aug 16
Except that she is in the house and just doesn't interact with us that much. I had a long talk with her boyfriend the other day because he asked me why she is so "pissy" lately. I gave him some relationship advice (they're 23 and been together since almost 17). He needs to give her his full attention and plan something to do with her and her alone. The important point here was PLAN. Don't just say "You wanna hang out?" Well, whatever they did the next day she has been in a pretty good mood since.
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
15 Aug 16
I think you are placing too much stress on yourself. It sounds to me as if you have good if busy girls and as long as they talk to you and enjoy each other, I would not care who sits down to eat, but that is me. We do have family game night where everyone who can comes, sometimes I think the Cleavers have given us a mistaken idea about what real families are. We grab a bite while watching TV most of the time, the dining room table is for Thanksgiving and games. maybe breakfast would be easier together.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (18181)
• Orangeville, Ontario
16 Aug 16
No, breakfast is impossible with work schedules. Dinner is the only time and not very often. I'm not stressed I'm just fed up with her attitude.
We used to have family game nights. That doesn't happen very often anymore with everyone (except me) so busy.
1 person likes this
@HazySue (39264)
• Gouverneur, New York
16 Aug 16
@patgalca it happens as the family gets older. Before my girls moved out and on their own we had a heck of a time to get together for a dinner. It mostly was the fault of our differing schedules. Hope you can get them all together for a meal before you hubby and daughter leave.
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
15 Aug 16
My children are grown now and that is one thing I miss the most. We use to always sit down and have dinner together. I have so many wonderful memories of those times. It was our time to talk about our day or anything that was going on in their lives that they wanted to share. As they got older those time became less and less. Everybody was busy with their own things. I am sorry that your older daughter didn't think it was worth her time to join the rest of her family for dinner even though she was up in her room. When she gets older and has children of her own she will realize how important those times were to you.
@patgalca (18181)
• Orangeville, Ontario
16 Aug 16
@Happy2BeMe Yeah, well, I never said anything to my mother. I was a miserable teenager. I guess what goes around comes around. 
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
16 Aug 16
@patgalca I do believe that they will. I have two grown children who have families of their own and they often say they now look at things differently since they were kids. They realize how difficult being a parent is and I have even had them apologize for things they said and did as teenagers. I can only speak from personal experience.
1 person likes this
@CinnamonGrl (7083)
• Santa Fe, New Mexico
15 Aug 16
I think this is a very common issue. Every member of the family seems to make their own individual plans and there is no time everybody sits down at once. I'd be miffed if it was intentional, too. I'm glad your hubby didn't go golf, he knows which side his bread is buttered on, lol.
@amadeo (111948)
• United States
15 Aug 16
welcome to family.I am sure most of us here have gone through with this.Good luck in working this out.
