My boss is being flirtatious

topffer

@topffer (42156)

• France

28 Oct 16

@fufurinha If your boss insists, speaking about it with your professor/internship supervisor seems to be a good idea.

1 person likes this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

28 Oct 16

@topffer well, at the moment it has only been smaller things. If something else happens I will think about it

1 person likes this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

28 Oct 16

But I need this internship, and he is my boss. I can not do anything about it, I guess

3 people like this

@n.J

@Iam_jauntyjen (4951)

•

28 Oct 16

Be always on guard.

3 people like this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

31 Oct 16

That is what i will try to do

topffer

@topffer (42156)

• France

28 Oct 16

You have not to worry : he told you clumsily something kind, but he will probably offer you a candlelight dinner before trying to rape you on your desk

2 people like this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

28 Oct 16

Oh stop it, I'm serious.

1 person likes this

topffer

@topffer (42156)

• France

28 Oct 16

@fufurinha Then, let's be serious a moment : you can tell him that you are faithful to your boyfriend if your boss makes you a dishonest offer. For the moment he only talked about a sensible subject : a man should be very careful each time he speaks of her size, weight or clothing to a woman, even when he talks positively

2 people like this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

28 Oct 16

@topffer it is a sensible subject indeed. No one can talk about it with a girl, he needs to get some acquaintance first. Specially with the way he said it.

3 people like this

Anna

@LadyDuck (458091)

• Switzerland

28 Oct 16

Do not wait too long, talk with your professor/internship supervisor or you will have troubles. I have been through that. When they start with this kind of talks, the day you are alone they will try to put their hands on your body.

2 people like this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

31 Oct 16

Well, I think that I have to wait before something else happens. I only have one "weird talk" that he had

1 person likes this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

31 Oct 16

@LadyDuck it is not that easy. but i'll try for sure. I don't want to be alone with him again

1 person likes this

Anna

@LadyDuck (458091)

• Switzerland

31 Oct 16

@fufurinha Be careful, avoid to be alone with him.

1 person likes this

Jo Ann

@akalinus (40440)

• United States

28 Oct 16

Keep a record of everything improper that he does. Tell him it is harassment and you do not like it. Do not encourage him in any way. I had a boss once who asked me to work overtime. His wife was out of town. I start typing away and he pulls out the couch bed and pats it. I got up and left. I never came back and his wife never asked me why I quit so abruptly. I think she must have known.

2 people like this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

1 Nov 16

@akalinus probably he will get what he deserves, don't worry

1 person likes this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

31 Oct 16

Oh, that was not good at all. Luckily nothing happened to you

1 person likes this

Jo Ann

@akalinus (40440)

• United States

31 Oct 16

@fufurinha He was not a very nice man.

1 person likes this

Pinay Ako

@AkoPinay (11544)

• Philippines

28 Oct 16

I hope he is not aware that you are writing here in myLot

2 people like this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

28 Oct 16

He probably doesn't know anything about websites like this

2 people like this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

28 Oct 16

@AkoPinay but that doesn't solve my problem

2 people like this

Pinay Ako

@AkoPinay (11544)

• Philippines

28 Oct 16

@fufurinha good

2 people like this

Just an Ordinary Owl?

@owlwings (43915)

• Cambridge, England

28 Oct 16

Your boss sounds very inept (amateurish) and probably lacks self confidence. You are a better person than he is. Mike's suggestion that you should write down any 'incidents' is a good one. I think you should also talk to the other members of staff (especially any good-looking ones of about your age) and find out whether this man is known for making suggestive comments to others. You may learn something about how they deal with him. Interns are often in a difficult situation because they are not paid by the company (or, at least, very little) and they need the work experience to put on their resumés/CVs. However, harrassment in the workplace is never acceptable and in many countries is a punishable offence - I hope that it is in Portugal! If your boss is harrassing you and you have some proof (as in a diary of incidents, however small), then perhaps you can go to the person above your immediate boss and put in a complaint. If you have evidence and support from other members of staff, that would be a help.

2 people like this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

31 Oct 16

Well, he is one of thoses bosses who want to be in charge of everything. And I am not sure if he has done things like this to other woman there

1 person likes this

louievill

@louievill (28851)

• Philippines

28 Oct 16

Why not hire a tough looking policeman or soldier and tell him to pick you up after work and introduce him to your boss as your boyfriend? It would be better if your accomplice is is a relative or someone you trust

2 people like this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

28 Oct 16

Well, that doesn't seem a bad idea ahaha

2 people like this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

31 Oct 16

@louievill it might affect if I stay in the company or not. But it wouldn't affect my final grade of the internship

1 person likes this

rebelann1949

@rebelann (111180)

• El Paso, Texas

28 Oct 16

That is harassment, are you in the USA?

1 person likes this

rebelann1949

@rebelann (111180)

• El Paso, Texas

31 Oct 16

I do not know about Portugal @fufurinha but perhaps you can check if there are laws about harassment that would protect you.

1 person likes this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

31 Oct 16

@rebelann well, they exist but I have to search for it

1 person likes this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

31 Oct 16

No, Portugal.

1 person likes this

M.-L.

@MALUSE (69413)

• Germany

28 Oct 16

I second what others have said. Document everything! Isn't there a female colleague you can confide in?

2 people like this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

31 Oct 16

Well, there is another woman that work with me. If things continue, I will consider talking to her

myLot Prince (LOL)

@trivia79 (7828)

• El Segundo, California

29 Oct 16

DON'T tell it to people in your work/intern environment....if you don't want something to be ruined either in you or in him or both or outside between the two of you.

1 person likes this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

31 Oct 16

Then who should I talk to?

1 person likes this

@ourlot (982)

•

1 Nov 16

@fufurinha ignore comments like this. Talk to HR (if they are reliable), talk to female coleges, talk to a lawyer.

2 people like this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

2 Nov 16

@ourlot thank you for your help

1 person likes this

Manisha

@ms1864 (6886)

• Bangalore, India

28 Oct 16

Be careful. If he makes you uncomfortable try not to hangout near him for anything except work. Don't encourage him if he jokes around you. Since this is just intership, you might want to think it through if you want to stay in this firm or find a job elsewhere later.

2 people like this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

31 Oct 16

Yes, that is exactly what I am thinking about. I probably won't stay at this company if things persist.

1 person likes this

Laurel (L_B)

@Happy2BeMe (99399)

• Canada

28 Oct 16

I can understand why it would make you feel uncomfortable. Just avoid him the best that you can and avoid situations where you are alone with him. Document everything. Just be careful.

2 people like this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

31 Oct 16

Thank you. I will try to do that

1 person likes this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

2 Nov 16

@HAPPSINGH well, I will try to document everything, it is easy

1 person likes this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

4 Nov 16

@HAPPSINGH

1 person likes this

Ritika Mannadiar

@RitzzView (2994)

• India

29 Oct 16

I hate your boss from now only.

I know how it feels. I know the fear, I know the helpless feeling of not knowing whom to contact in such times. These things are really uncomfortable for us girls and also bit scary. I suggest you convey the idea that you're NOT okay with it. Use some line which doesn't have the word "you". I mean, don't say something which 'could' hurt his ego(maybe the outcome won't be good). Something, for eg, "umm, I don't think I like that comment"

1 person likes this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

31 Oct 16

I will do that if something happens again

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

31 Oct 16

@RitzzView Thank you for your preoccupation

1 person likes this

Ritika Mannadiar

@RitzzView (2994)

• India

31 Oct 16

@fufurinha Yes! Take care!

1 person likes this

Dominique

@dodo19 (47066)

• Beaconsfield, Quebec

29 Oct 16

I can certainly understand why you may feel uncomfortable around him. Maybe you should talk to your internship supervisor, explain the situation and see what he/she says.

1 person likes this

Dominique

@dodo19 (47066)

• Beaconsfield, Quebec

31 Oct 16

@fufurinha keep track of things he says and does. See what happens.

1 person likes this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

31 Oct 16

@dodo19 ok, thank you!!

1 person likes this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

31 Oct 16

But I'm afraid that people won't understand be. Because in fact nothing has happened

1 person likes this

Joy

@PurnaSharma (2557)

• Guwahati, India

4 Nov 16

Try not to be happened such situation where you be alone with him and document everything.if his intention is so then definitely his flirting level gradually goes up and wait untill he cross his flirting level,so that you catch him.

1 person likes this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

4 Nov 16

Thank you so much for your advice. That is what I'll do

1 person likes this

Jessica

@JESSY3236 (18923)

• United States

28 Oct 16

That's scary. Have you ever talked about your weight to other people while he was around?

1 person likes this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

31 Oct 16

I don't know. Maybe I have said something about it in front of me. But the thing is that it must have been many days ago. And he stills remembers it.

1 person likes this

@ourlot (982)

•

1 Nov 16

Your boss is being extremely inappropriate, and deserves to be sued. It's not just about getting even with him, it's about curtailing his ability to treat women in general like that.

1 person likes this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

2 Nov 16

Yes, who knows if he has done the same thing to other woman?

@ourlot (982)

•

1 Nov 16

Your boss is being extremely inappropriate, and deserves to be sued.

1 person likes this

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

1 Nov 16

I have to be careful with my next moves

@fufurinha (11930)

• Portugal

2 Nov 16

@ourlot possibly. I have to talk with other woman

@ourlot (982)

•

1 Nov 16

@fufurinha Be careful, but effective. Also ask around, maybe he behaves in the same way with other female colleges. I'd not be surprised, a creep rarely strikes once.

1 person likes this