Am I the only one?
By A Ripple
@iWitness (22)
Las Vegas, Nevada
December 2, 2016 12:27pm CST
I have friends who have told their kids that they'll be going to college whether they like it or not, or that they'll be following the career path the parents have chosen. I've heard threats of cutting financial support off if the kids don't follow what their parents say and I've even seen a parent threaten to disown their child for wanting to go a different direction in life. Am I the only one who thinks that's sad?
I know we all parent differently and want what's best for our children, but what about what they want? Isn't it better to feed their dreams and give them everything we can to succeed in the life they want?
7 people like this
8 responses
@Morleyhunt (21736)
• Canada
2 Dec 16
My son wanted to pursue a career that we knew would be a Deadend and was far below his talents and abilities. We agreed to allow him one year. Then he could continue, but also needed to go to college. Three months later ( much less than the year we granted him) he went to school and headed (voluntarily) in a better direction. No threats, just rational discussion.
3 people like this
@Morleyhunt (21736)
• Canada
3 Dec 16
@iWitness he would have either moved out, or bound to paying room and board. My kids have good heads on their shoulders. They have been taught responsibility from an early age. We didn't demand a particular field....we just told him....chicken catching is not a career choice we will continue to support as full time employment. In the months he was 'full time' he took the time to look at his coworkers and their lives....he's now a licensed electrician, married with five children of his own.
1 person likes this
@mommymonky (325)
•
3 Dec 16
This might sound terrible, but I wish that my parents had done that to me. I left the house when I was 17, and have been treading mud ever since. I went to community college briefly but couldn't afford to keep it up since I had to try to pay for it myself, and I was pretty young and not so great with money then. If my parents had insisted that I go to college, and let me stay at home while doing it, and paid my tuition, my life would be very different right now.
2 people like this
@mommymonky (325)
•
3 Dec 16
@iWitness I get that :). I am a Gen X latchkey child. I raised myself lol
1 person likes this
@iWitness (22)
• Las Vegas, Nevada
3 Dec 16
I understand what you're saying but the things you struggle with can be taught at an earlier age. For example, my children are each taught (at a young age) to manage money, manage a household (bills included). It's never too late to learn those things though.
2 people like this
@dodo19 (47117)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
2 Dec 16
I have to agree with you. That is pretty sad. Being a parent, I do kind of hope that my kids go to university or college or something, mainly because I would like them to have the education to have a good job. But I know it's not for everyone one and I'm not going to disown my kids if they chose not to do it. They're my kids. At the end of the day, I just want them to be happy, whatever that may entail for them.
1 person likes this
@iWitness (22)
• Las Vegas, Nevada
2 Dec 16
Yes, I definitely encourage my kids to continue with education but I think my idea of that is a bit different than most. If they enjoy learning, they will continue to educate themselves throughout their lives. Unless they have a career in mind that requires a degree I see no need for a formal (expensive) education. If they want to go to college, my husband & I are very supportive. I just want them to be happy, whatever they choose. One of my sons chose wrestling (as in WWE). Not a career I'd choose for him but I'll do everything I can to help him get there.
1 person likes this
@sabtraversa (13004)
• Italy
2 Dec 16
True, that's really sad.
Children won't be your property forever and if they do something against their will they're also likely to fail.
A parent should be satisfied of their life before adopting or giving birth, otherwise this is what happens.
Children should be supported but not treated like toys or characters in a videogame. 
1 person likes this
@iWitness (22)
• Las Vegas, Nevada
2 Dec 16
Children shouldn't be considered property at any point. They are human beings. You brought up a great point when you said parents should be satisfied with their own lives before having children or adopting. I think that's part of the problem with the people I see trying to control or choose for their children. Maybe they didn't take they feel they failed at some point in their lives so they try to force the "right" decision on their children. Unfortunately, the right choice for the parents past won't always be the right one for their childs future.
1 person likes this
