Struggling this time of year...
By Laurel (L_B)
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
Canada
December 4, 2016 7:51am CST
I haven't been around here much the past few days. I have been trying to keep up but it is hard to stay focused. My heart and thoughts are in other places. This time of year I really struggle. As much as I love Christmas and everything about it, it makes me feel sad. I miss my Dad, I miss my Mom and I miss all those wonderful family get togethers.
Even when I moved I always travelled home for Christmas. I can say with pride that I never missed one single Christmas morning with my mom and dad in all their years. I was there every Christmas eve when Dad would hang his stocking before going to bed. I was there every Christmas morning when they opened their presents and when they were up early preparing Christmas dinner.
When my children were little we packed up the car with all the presents and headed "home". They always had their Christmases with Grammie and Grampie. Santa always brought their presents there. That was their Christmases until they were older and we're on their own. We have so many memories of time we were together.
Once the children got older I made the trip on my own. One year I didn't have a car and I didn't think I would be able to make it that year. Money was tight and I just couldn't see it happening. I was so upset. We always exchange Christmas cards at work. When I opened one of the cards from a coworker inside was a bus ticket home. I cried so hard and I will be forever grateful to her for that. I am crying now writing this. She made that Christmas happen for me.
When Dad passed 16 years ago it was two months before Christmas. The first Christmas without him was difficult. Mom had a hard time that Christmas morning. We hugged and cried a lot that morning but we got through it.
Mom spent her last Christmas in the hospital. I was at the hospital that morning bright and early. It stormed hard that year. We traveled through a blizzard to get there but I wasn't about to miss it and I am glad I didn't because it turned out to be her last Christmas. She passed away February 2013.
I no longer have to travel for Christmas. We have started making new traditions but my heart is always with those times of Christmas past. So even though I struggle each year I know I will be okay and I will get through it because I have those beautiful memories to carry me through.
41 people like this
42 responses
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
4 Dec 16
I'm crying now along with you, I'm so sorry that you lost them. I can feel and picture how beautiful Christmas was in your family. I hope to make memories like that each year for my children.
6 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
5 Dec 16
Thank you! You and your hubby are great parents to your children and they will have many memories to look back on when they get older.
2 people like this
@Marilynda1225 (79731)
• United States
4 Dec 16
You brought tears to my eyes reading your post. I have been feeling a bit nostalgic this weekend too and your post brought back so many memories of those Christmases past especially the ones I spent with my grandparents. Once I married Christmas became my holiday and everyone traveled to my house. Yesterday I wrote about my dad who has been gone now 35 years but this will be my first Christmas without my mom. Bittersweet
On the bright side you are so lucky to have such treasured memories of all those Christmases. Many people aren't fortunate enough to have wonderful holidays to share with family.
4 people like this
@Marilynda1225 (79731)
• United States
5 Dec 16
@Happy2BeMe that's what I think about when my grandchildren are here and that I am passing on their future memories of holidays and great times they spend with me 
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
5 Dec 16
@Marilynda1225 Yes that you are and they will treasure those memories for years to come.
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
5 Dec 16
This time of year it is hard to be without those we love but you are right we are blessed to have the beautiful memories of that times we shared with them.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
5 Dec 16
Thank you. I will have a nice Christmas with my children and grandchildren.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
5 Dec 16
That brought tears to my eyes! This will be my first Christmas without my own dad (he passed away at the end of August), and my mom is in a nursing home suffering from dementia. I definitely understand what you are going through, and I've been feeling the same way as well as Christmas nears. I'm trying to remain strong since I have my own two kids to care for, but it's really been hard.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
5 Dec 16
@Happy2BeMe That's a great attitude to have, and thank you for reminding me of that! I have two wonderful children that I have to stay strong for, because they are depending on me! I hope you are doing well and that you will find positive motivation to get you through the holidays as well!
2 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
5 Dec 16
@moffittjc Thank you. I have my children and grandchildren who will bring many smiles to me this holiday season. I am sure I will have my moments when I don't do so well but I will get through it making memories with my family.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
5 Dec 16
I am sorry about the passing of your Dad and what your mom and you are going through right now. It is so difficult to get through the holidays without our loved ones but we will because we have others who depend on us.
2 people like this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
4 Dec 16
Now that got me crying! God bless you! The memories you have of your Christmases with your parents are solid and are yours. Nobody can touch that those. Thank you for sharing them with us.
Yes, time marches on and we make new traditions and make new memories, but nothing beats the ones we have of Christmas days gone by. Big hugs to you.
2 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
5 Dec 16
Thank you. I am blessed that I have so many beautiful memories which I will hold with me forever,
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (134460)
• Roseburg, Oregon
6 Dec 16
@Happy2BeMe You sure are blessed. Happy memories.
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54189)
• Louisville, Kentucky
5 Dec 16
Your post is so touching and it's making me tear up a little. I can relate to how you feel. During Christmas, I really miss my Mom and stepfather a lot. They always made Christmas so special for us when we were kids. I always helped in the kitchen on Christmas Eve, preparing out Christmas dinner that we ate that night and had leftovers on Christmas day.
1 person likes this
@simone10 (54189)
• Louisville, Kentucky
7 Dec 16
@Happy2BeMe Yes they are wonderful memories. They make us both sad and happy at the same time.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
5 Dec 16
Those memories just make you smile. We have blessed to have wonderful memories of parents who made out holiday season so wonderful.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50525)
• Centralia, Missouri
6 Dec 16
I missed a few and always regretted it, made it to last year, and am planning on making it this year. -hugs- glad you had what you had while you had it
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50525)
• Centralia, Missouri
7 Dec 16
@Happy2BeMe yep, esp since I just found out everyone else, ie sis and BIL, and Mom and dad are all skipping cmas eve, and not even showing up till late the next day, which I think is just disrespectful of gram
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
7 Dec 16
Thank you. Glad that you are going to make it again this year.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
8 Dec 16
@Jessicalynnt That is being very disrespectful!!
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39515)
• United States
6 Dec 16
what a most kind 'n thoughtful gift from yer co-worker. i'm glad that'cha were able to spend that time with yer momma, hon. i lost my dad 5 days 'fore thanksgivin' back'n 2011, my mamaw the 8th 'f december the same year. such broke me, i dread this time 'f year.
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39515)
• United States
7 Dec 16
@Happy2BeMe t'was a most tryin' time. thanks fer the hugs, hon.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
6 Dec 16
I am sorry to hear that. It was have been difficult to lose the both of them so close together.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (40523)
• United States
4 Dec 16
What a beautiful story. My family is similar in that our kids and grandkids have never missed coming to our house for Christmas. Well, our granddaughter did go to her fiancee's house one year. But for 49 years, they've brought gifts and Santa and goodies.
I thought that as the grandkids came along, the parents would want to have Christmas at home, but we're so thankful they still wanted to come here. One year Santa brought and assembled two bunk beds in our living room! He's brought all kinds of things over the years. One time he brought a baby late Christmas Eve! But that's for another post.
I know you miss your parents terribly. I hope when my husband and I are gone that our kids will still spend Christmas together at one of their homes. Being together with family is the most cherished part of the holiday. You are very blessed to have such wonderful memories.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (40523)
• United States
5 Dec 16
@Happy2BeMe I'm sorry your family hasn't stayed close. You're in my prayers.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
5 Dec 16
@1creekgirl Thank you Vicki. I appreciate that.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
5 Dec 16
Thank you for your kind words of support. My parents wanted us to continue the tradition as a family but our family fell apart while mom was in the hospital on her last days. It is sad that things went that way. I am glad for you and your husband have your children and grandkids visiting every year for Christmas. That is the way the holidays should be.
1 person likes this
@just4him (306239)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
6 Dec 16
@Happy2BeMe That's wonderful. I don't know what it's like to have a close family relationship.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
6 Dec 16
@just4him That is sad. I was blessed with such wonderful parents.
1 person likes this
@MarymargII (12422)
• Toronto, Ontario
6 Dec 16
That story brought a tear to my eye-as I remember those Christmases too! Me and my family always went to my mom's as my dad passed away when I was young- but now I make a family time just with my kids and grand child so that is wonderful too!
1 person likes this
@MarymargII (12422)
• Toronto, Ontario
9 Dec 16
@Happy2BeMe Enjoy the Christmas-y days we have ahead- and make fun and loving traditions of your own. I am still trying to do that and it does make things so fun!
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
9 Dec 16
@MarymargII Yes it has only been a few Christmases without Mom so I am slowly learning to do that.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
6 Dec 16
Yes it is nice to spend time with family over the holidays. I treasure the times that we get to spend together.
1 person likes this
@Fishmomma (11377)
• United States
6 Dec 16
I'm very sorry and understand the holidays are hard for many people. Its the memories with our parents and grandparents that we cherish for many years. In my case, I have dolls with handmade outfits that I can look at and remember making them with family.
The years go by so fast and we make new memories with our children and their families. Some people on Mylot have grandchildren and great grandchildren. I think of all the trees my family brought home from a large Christmas Farm and the owner was a friend of the family. I felt like a kid in a candy factory knowing all the trees were perfect, as my brothers and parents would all sit down at the tree and spend time together.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
6 Dec 16
Beautiful memories. They are what get us through the sad times.
@marguicha (215428)
• Chile
4 Dec 16
I know what you mean. And you made me cry. Part of my tears were for your old Christmas, but most are for my own lost Christmas.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (215428)
• Chile
5 Dec 16
@Happy2BeMe I suppose that is in part why the Christmas party has to move to the new generation´s homes.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
5 Dec 16
It is a difficult time of year for so many of us who have lost loved ones.1 person likes this
@infatuatedbby (95001)
• United States
4 Dec 16
Aww. I'm sure your parents will be at your home in spirit during the holidays =) Cheers to new memories and these memories you can share with your children, grandchildren too!
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29823)
• Momence, Illinois
4 Dec 16
It's so hard when those you love are gone. My dad passed 16 years ago and my mom 2 years after him. I don't like being an orphan and miss my parents greatly. I hope you can enjoy the memories you are making today.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29823)
• Momence, Illinois
9 Dec 16
@Happy2BeMe No the ache surely never goes away. Thank you
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
5 Dec 16
It is tough when you lose both parents. You have that feeling of having nobody even though you have other family. It is an ache in your heart that never goes away. I am sorry you lost them both too.
1 person likes this
@amandajay (23264)
• New Zealand
4 Dec 16
I wish you could spend such beautiful christmas this time also... Hugs
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
5 Dec 16
Thank you. So sorry for the loss of your father and sister. My thoughts will be with you this holiday season.
