A Child Who's Always Good? Must Be Suppressed...

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Note: I used the word 'suppressed' because that was the word used by the original commenter. It has been pointed out to me (because, apparently, my grammar Nazi brain is broken and didn't notice) that it should read 'oppressed'. Children are strange creatures, but parents can be stranger still. It is a sad indictment of society when it is seen as normal for a child to have continuous tantrums, to require bribes to simply behave appropriately, and when more parents think that their only option is taking away all of the child's worldly goods. When reading articles, questions, and social media items regarding children and parenting, there is a lot of negativity. There is a lot of 'don't worry, it's normal' which, in reality, only gives the parent an excuse not to parent. It does not help to solve the situation. Of course, children do have their moments. They will, probably, do something they shouldn't at some point in their lives. If it is dealt with appropriately the first time, and parents are consistent with appropriate teachings and discipline, then it will be less likely that a child will repeat the unwanted behaviour. Sometimes, the biggest problem is with a parent doing nothing. If it is 'normal' for a child to have a tantrum, then some parents will simply dismiss it. This is problematic because the child has learned nothing from it. While I may be biased in this assertion, my children are absolutely awesome so I think I've done a good job of raising them. What prompted me to write this post was someone on a thread about toddler tantrums. Yes, it is not an unusual thing for a toddler to have a tantrum. It is, however, sad that so many people viewed children being brats as the same as children being children. It is also sad that one commenter stated a belief that a child who is always well-behaved must be suppressed, and the commenter worried about how that child had been brought up. To me, I worry that such an attitude exists. Another commenter suggested that everyone goes through public tantrums and the like, and that anyone who hasn't been through it should not be judgemental because their time will come. Well, I can only speak for myself and my own children but, at 16 and 11, I don't think it's likely I'll have those issues now! The worry I have is that children don't seem to be taught how to behave, and parents would rather let them get on with what they see as 'just being children' than actually explain to them that their behaviour is not acceptable. Being well-behaved is not the same as being suppressed. It is, in my opinion, a simple matter of manners, of knowing how to behave appropriately. Perhaps my attitude is different because my children have the freedom and ability to talk about anything, meaning they can simply ask if something is or isn't appropriate. Perhaps they've simply never felt the need to have a tantrum because they are articulate enough to voice their feelings. Not being allowed to get away with things does not mean that a child is suppressed. My children are certainly not suppressed. They have far more freedom than a lot of children. They choose to use it in their own way. I actually found it really sad that someone would presume to worry about a child's upbringing just because they were always good. I shall leave it there for now. Please feel welcome to comment your own opinions and experiences.