In a Stranger's Hand?
@GrannyGee (3517)
Louisburg, North Carolina
January 10, 2017 7:43am CST
The beautiful backpack lays on a shelf in my closet. It was a backpack made for an adult, college kid. One can carry their laptop, books ... things with them wherever they go.
Before my son died 6 years ago ... he bought this beautiful backpack for me. He drove a big truck ... bought him one to carry his laptop in. When he bought things for himself ... he would get one for me or Skip, too. Tommy bought tools for me, also ... he knew I loved 'real' tools. He would give us his electronics when he updated ... all were always in excellent condition. We did the same with him.
I was thinking about the backpack sitting there ... a thought came to my mind. A thought that often comes to my mind now. Suppose when I die one day ... my grandson or granddaughter never sees the few things I have from my son, Tommy. They will never know such things exist as they never been in our lives since their father died. The mothers went on about their lives never sharing the children with Tommy's family. One mother moved without letting us know where she moved to.
I don't ever think bad of the mothers ... because whether they know it or not ... whether they care or not ... I'm the best friend they've ever had. They have my only two grandchildren and I always want the best for them. I've told each of them that ... they listened ... went on to forget. They have the only family I have left in this world ... my son's children. I've never had opportunity to grow with them, know them.
When my son died I had to also, accept not ever seeing my grandchildren. I can't tell you the grief in my Heart for the past 6 years. I'm at the point now I can live in peace knowing this. I don't hold anything against either mother ... strange enough ... I love them, always will. I've learned to cope with all that nearly destroyed me when Tommy, my son ... died. Everything is alright now ... no matter how bad ... everything always gets ... alright.
Anyway ... my story isn't about that ... it's about the few things I have that are my son's. I feel children should get things that were their parents if they have passed away. I know you agree.
The things I have that are Tommy's will probably end up in a stranger's hands when I'm dead, gone. His children will never know about them ... never hold in their hands things that were their daddy's things. I hope this doesn't happen.
Sadness fills my Heart ... my only family, my whole world is Skip (my husband) and our two Pups ... Kissy Fairchild and Camie Leigh. I sit here with this thought that comes to mind often ... I wonder who will end up with my son's belongings?
Note by this Author: Photo/true thoughts owned, written by Gloria Faye Brown Bates/aka Granny Gee.
Life can be so sad at times ... no matter how happy I am ... thoughts such as this stays in the back of my mind. I still know this ... no matter what, everything has a way of being alright.
28 people like this
22 responses
@fishtiger58 (29823)
• Momence, Illinois
10 Jan 17
This made me cry, I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine losing a child. I hope someday before you are gone the mothers come to their senses and let you see the grandkids.
7 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
10 Jan 17
Thank you. I'm sorry you cried. It has been 6 years now ... and I've finally found peace inside and everything is alright. There are those times when grief strikes ... I write it when it happens. No matter what or how bad ... things have a way of being alright again. Thank you for caring.
5 people like this
@fishtiger58 (29823)
• Momence, Illinois
10 Jan 17
@GrannyGee you are more than welcome.
5 people like this
@ramapo17 (30441)
• Melbourne, Florida
11 Jan 17
@just4him I am sorry to hear about your granddaughter. Young parents don't realize how selfish they are for taking this away from the children and the grandparents. One day they will learn about the big mistake they are making.
There is a tv show on that is about people looking for their family members and I sit and cry the whole time it is on.
4 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
11 Jan 17
@just4him Thank you very much. I pray you will see your granddaughter. I know the pain is so great. It's so sad. When I was little ... my sister was adopted by a family ... taken away. My little brother went to live out west with his father ... I was given to a grandmother. I know the pain.
4 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
11 Jan 17
Thank you very much for caring when you didn't have to.
4 people like this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
10 Jan 17
I'm so sorry for your loss and the fact the you never see your grandchildren. Have you contacted the mothers to find out why they won't allow you to see the children?
I am in kind of the same situation, except it is my own daughter, who lives less than 5 miles from me, won't allow me to see her boys. But I have three other children in my life and so if I have something for my children, those three would get it since my daughter doesn't want to be in my life.
4 people like this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
11 Jan 17
@GrannyGee Maybe all the moms will change and allow us to see our grandchildren.
3 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
11 Jan 17
I don't know why the mothers didn't want me in their lives ... I've never been one to meddle, get into their lives as I'm very private. I feel that the things they did ... they didn't want me to know (choice of men, their choices in life). I don't sit, judge others. I realize people do things in their lives ... it isn't the end of the world. I am so sorry you go through such, Carmela.
3 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
11 Jan 17
@Carmelanirel2 We can always hope, Carmela. I hope so.
2 people like this
@LeaPea2417 (36500)
• Toccoa, Georgia
10 Jan 17
This saddened me to read. I do hope you will get to see the grand children again. I am not trying to be too nosy, but how did your son die?
4 people like this
@LeaPea2417 (36500)
• Toccoa, Georgia
11 Jan 17
@GrannyGee Very sorry to read about his heart problem. Thanks for the link.
3 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
11 Jan 17
@LeaPea2417 You are welcome, and thank you, Anne Marie.
2 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
11 Jan 17
Jo Ann, you are so right about coming out stronger. I am. I'm so sorry for all you have suffered. I sense so much sadness. I send you Love, and a Hug from my very Heart.
4 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29257)
• Eugene, Oregon
10 Jan 17
It is good that you have come to terms with that terrible loss, though I know that waves of sadness can still overwhelm again.
5 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
10 Jan 17
Yes, James, you are right. The waves of sadness do happen at times and it's very overwhelming. I work hard at getting it back in its place so, I can be at peace again.
4 people like this
@pumpkinjam (8539)
• United Kingdom
11 Jan 17
That is such a sad situation. It seems your son was so lovely to you, and you to him. You must be such an amazing and loving person to accept and not be bitter towards your grandchildren's mothers. I couldn't imagine taking my boys out of their grandparent's lives.
3 people like this
@pumpkinjam (8539)
• United Kingdom
11 Jan 17
@GrannyGee Thank you. I try to be :)
3 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
11 Jan 17
I don't understand ... I grieved so much for them, my son. I did my best to stay positive as I went through all. Thankfully I came out of it all in a good way when I could have been the most bitter person in the world. When I say that ... it wasn't easy at all ... I had to keep working with myself as I don't like to hate, be angry. I grew up like that the first part of my life ... I never want to go back there. I love instead of hate ... I forgive now whereas some years ago I didn't forgive. Somehow I did this while grieving ... I'm so grateful not to carry the weight of hate again. Thank you for your words. You sound like a good person.
3 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
11 Jan 17
@pumpkinjam I sensed that. I'm glad to meet you.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157661)
• United States
10 Jan 17
That has to be so very overwhelming. Yes, in the grand picture, things will be alright. I do wonder if the grandchildren will have a desire to know you, and seek you out when they are old enough.This is really not about the "things" but about the love that you have and that you would have shared with them. I am so glad you can write the stories, write the love. The love lasts well beyond the things.
3 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
10 Jan 17
I believe one day 'in the grand picture' my grandchildren will look for me. I hope they will look for each other, also. The mothers don't let them visit each other and they all live close enough for them to grow up together. Life can be so sad ... and yes ... so very overwhelming. Thankfully ... I am at peace now. It took so long to get to this point in time. Thank you for your words.
2 people like this
@allen0187 (58444)
• Philippines
11 Jan 17
Terrible loss indeed.
Hope things can be right and the mothers will realize that you need to spend time with your grandchildren as well.
3 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
11 Jan 17
Thank you, Allen. Maybe they will reach the stages in life to realize how important it is for grandparents, grandchildren to know each other. Sometimes, people never grow to understand many things. If not ... that's okay ... I have peace in my Heart now. Thank you so much for caring.
3 people like this
@averygirl72 (37748)
• Philippines
11 Jan 17
Life gets tough at times. I know you can survive. Hope your son's belonging ends up not with strangers
3 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
11 Jan 17
Thank you, Aubrey. I am a survivor ... you are right. Yes, life does get tough at times. I think how we all cope with it is most important. Thankfully I fought to cope in a positive way so as not to end up an old, mean ... bitter woman. I mean to grow older in a good way ... I know everything has a way of working out as it should. 
3 people like this
@TiarasOceanView (70035)
• United States
11 Jan 17
Life indeed can be very sad. I am sorry to know of the loss of your son and the pain that it brings you also knowing that his memory (his belongings) may slip away and no one will ever know of him and all his goodness, but perhaps some writing about him may be passed on even if to strangers to keep his memory alive.
3 people like this
@TiarasOceanView (70035)
• United States
11 Jan 17
@GrannyGee Thanks nice to see you again too Gloria..I know you love to write. I am glad also to know that Skip is still by your side.
3 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
11 Jan 17
@TiarasOceanView Thank you. Skip and I are forever and we've always known that. We've been by each other's side through so many bad things. Oh yes, I love to write!
3 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
11 Jan 17
I did that! I self-published a book during the time I was grieving (I Cry For Tommy). Whether it sells or not (and it hasn't ever sold a lot) ... at least I have made it so Tommy won't ever be forgotten. I'm at peace now ... even when I am writing about grief. I write what I know best in life ... pain, grief ... they are the things that have shaped me since a child into the person I am. I feel I am a good person and so strong from all the 'bad' things I have been through. I have tried to be as positive as I possibly can. I write to share what I know, experienced and know first-hand about. Real life Thank you for caring and it is so nice to see you again.
I self-published a book during the time I was grieving (I Cry For Tommy). Whether it sells or not (and it hasn't ever sold a lot) ... at least I have made it so Tommy won't ever be forgotten. I'm at peace now ... even when I am writing about grief. I write what I know best in life ... pain, grief ... they are the things that have shaped me since a child into the person I am. I feel I am a good person and so strong from all the 'bad' things I have been through. I have tried to be as positive as I possibly can. I write to share what I know, experienced and know first-hand about. Real life Thank you for caring and it is so nice to see you again.3 people like this
@Jessicalynnt (50525)
• Centralia, Missouri
11 Jan 17
I hope they get back in touch with you, how sad!
4 people like this
@ramapo17 (30441)
• Melbourne, Florida
11 Jan 17
Isn't there any way you can find out where they live and send them a note of the things you want to give them. As the children get older they might want to have the things from their dad.
I am so sorry for all the hurt you are going through. It is bad enough losing a child but not seeing the grandchildren too has to be so bad that no parent or grand parent should go through.
3 people like this
@ramapo17 (30441)
• Melbourne, Florida
11 Jan 17
@GrannyGee How old are the children now?
3 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
11 Jan 17
@ramapo17 Seven and fifteen.
3 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
11 Jan 17
Nancy, I am at peace with it all now. I've let go, let God. Writing, calling doesn't make any difference. I just respect that I'm not wanted in my grandchildren's lives (nor is any of Tommy's family). I won't push myself where I'm not wanted. I love and care too much. I'm here if one day someone wants to come to me. When going through the years of grieving I learned to accept what I can't change ... until I finally came to peace in my Heart. They must have their reasons like I do, you do ... to do as they do. I understand that even if it means I'm not a part of the closest family I have left in this world ... my son's children. I won't fight, be ugly ... I can't live the way I grew up watching, seeing, hearing. Thank you so much for caring.
3 people like this
@JudyEv (326093)
• Rockingham, Australia
10 Jan 17
A very poignant post. I wonder if the children will want to know more about their father later in life? It can be very hard for grandparents to not only lose a children but effectively to 'lose' grandchildren as well. Sending positive vibes.
4 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
11 Jan 17
Hello Judy. I know my grandson was very close to his daddy and wanted to be 'just like him'. His mother has done so much ... he has went through things he shouldn't because of the type of men she brought into their lives. I'm sure he will want to know him and me ... his Granny Gee. He and I were very close when Tommy (my son) was living. He is the one I hope, expect one day to come looking for me. Thank you very much for your positive vibes. I treasure them.
4 people like this
@psanasangma (5884)
• India
12 Jan 17
I saddened by your lost, being human sometimes we all have grudge on any negative things but things need to go on
2 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
12 Jan 17
Oh yes, you are so right, Sanna. I am at peace inside and have been for the past couple of years. I write about grief and pain because I know it best. Thankfully when I write now ... I'm alright. Thank you for your words.
1 person likes this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
11 Jan 17
Judy, I hope one day they can know about their father. I do know miracles can come true. Many have happened in my life.
2 people like this
@RasmaSandra (73705)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
12 Jan 17
That is very true. I wish there was a way you could find your grandchildren and share these items with them. Perhaps when they are much older they will be interested in knowing who their dad was and who their grandparents are. Perhaps one day you might get a visit. Hey wishful thinking never hurts. Virtual hugs and blessing to you
1 person likes this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
13 Jan 17
Oh yes, wishful thinking never hurts. I know miracles happen, have happened in my life and I trust many more will.
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (21736)
• Canada
10 Jan 17
Do you have aw y contact with your grandchildren a mother's. As the children grow older (I have no idea of their ages) you should be able to contact them.
The backpack should be labeled. At some future date someone should be able to see that these items get into the possession of your grandchildren.
3 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
11 Jan 17
No, I don't have any contact at all. At one time I had hope when my grandson's mother began to call me, text me for a short time. Even my grandson texted me for that short time. Then it stopped. I never heard from them again. I heard they moved to another state. I like what you suggested about labeling Tommy's things for them. I hadn't thought of that. My grandchildren are age 7, and 14. It seemed strange writing that since I don't know them.
3 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
10 Jan 17
Thank you. The good thing is I'm at a point in time I can be at peace now with the loss of my son ... and really loss of my grandchildren. I never knew I could get from 'then' to ... now. I did and am stronger for it. Now, I know that no matter what ... everything will be alright. Maybe one day they will know me through my writing.
3 people like this
@The_Bong_Woman (851)
•
12 Jan 17
Knowing how much you love him and what a genuine effort you are making to spread positivity around yourself, I am pretty sure that Tommy, while dwelling among the stars, must be shining with happiness. Lots of love to you.
2 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
12 Jan 17
Thank you, Priya. I hope so!
2 people like this
@GrannyGee (3517)
• Louisburg, North Carolina
17 Jan 17
@The_Bong_Woman Thank you, Priya. That touched my Heart.
