Not being good enough

Peoria, Arizona
January 11, 2017 1:39pm CST
I only have a few fears of this world and one would be not being good enough. I am always afraid to disappoint someone and then them leaving me because I did something wrong. It has happened a lot in my life. I know that if a person leave because of this then they are not a person I need in my life, but gah it still hurts when it happens. I feel like I live with a knife at my throat when I get in a relationship with anyone because I want to be good enough and feel terrible when I cannot be. I don't know. I just needed to vent.
6 people like this
7 responses
@Plethos (9605)
• United States
11 Jan 17
You're jaded. Keep moving forward and realize it's in the past. Leave it in the rear view mirror of life.
• Peoria, Arizona
11 Jan 17
I am not jaded. I just have a fear and a constant voice in my head telling me I am a failure at things. It is not easy when your whole existance people have told you, you are going to be a failure.
1 person likes this
@Plethos (9605)
• United States
12 Jan 17
@DesirousDreamer - ignore them. tell them "perfect" bastiches to f@@@ off ! they will always see you as a failure no matter what. why do what they want? go off and do your thing. if we didnt fail, we wouldnt succeed. that how we become awesome people.
• Peoria, Arizona
14 Jan 17
@Plethos If only it was that easy. I am a lot better than when I was younger, but it is still pretty hard.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (74336)
• Canada
11 Jan 17
You only feel that way because it has happened to you in the past. Maybe you just try too hard, instead of just enjoying the time you spend together. You just need to work on your self confidence so that you can believe in yourself and realize that you are good enough!!
• Peoria, Arizona
11 Jan 17
It is not just what it is in my past. I mean, yeah my whole life people told me I am a failure. But I also got a few other things in my brain that have nothing ot do my past to tell me I am not good enough. It is kind of hard to build up self confidence when you got a little bug in your brain telling me you can't be good enough. I am better than I used to be.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (74336)
• Canada
11 Jan 17
@DesirousDreamer I know how you. I was like that for a very long time.
• Peoria, Arizona
11 Jan 17
@Happy2BeMe It is always a party in my brain. a party of constant yelling and sometimes pretty good music haha
1 person likes this
@sabtraversa (12488)
• Italy
11 Jan 17
I made the wrong choices because I was afraid of the expectations others had, I know the feeling. But you know it, if a person leaves that's because they did all they had to do in your life. You must accept yourself for who you are and accept others for who they are, and hope these "others" will do the same. If they don't, they just have to grow up. I mean, your happiness shouldn't depend on others, you yourself are enough. You'll get over it, sooner or later. I did, and never thought it was possible, but it is!
• Peoria, Arizona
11 Jan 17
Thank you very much. I just like making people happy and hate disappointing people. Doesn't help when you got a little voice telling you every last little thing you do is wrong.
1 person likes this
@sabtraversa (12488)
• Italy
11 Jan 17
@DesirousDreamer I self-criticize quite a lot, but that helps me not taking most critics and insults personally, because I had enough from myself.
• Peoria, Arizona
11 Jan 17
@sabtraversa That is exactly how I am. I laugh at everyone else who gets at me, until they hit my weakness, but yeah I am very much a terrible person to myself.
1 person likes this
@jhechorain (1218)
• Susanville, California
11 Jan 17
That's no good. I hope some day you can get past this problem though.
• Peoria, Arizona
11 Jan 17
I can only try but I will never get passed it entirely because I am bipolar and things just like to be mean.
• Susanville, California
11 Jan 17
Meditation can work wonders on the mind, you never know!
• Peoria, Arizona
11 Jan 17
@jhechorain Haha, if only. I cannot be in the quiet for very long. The only thing that kind of helps me is music. But yeah, it is more of a mental illness thing than anything.
@PurnaSharma (2011)
• India
14 Jan 17
How a coincidence i feel too so but you know by saying something to someone which isn't bad or wrong though.I still then feel,didn't i do something wrong or bad.
• Peoria, Arizona
14 Jan 17
I know the pain. Even if I know the person is okay, I still feel guilt.
@dragon54u (31607)
• United States
11 Jan 17
But you ARE good enough! You just get involved with the wrong people. You need to learn to be happy alone. If you learn that, you won't need a relationship and of course that's when they come along and usually they are the right people. I'm alone by choice and I like it.
• Peoria, Arizona
11 Jan 17
Thank you. Haha the problem is I am worse when I am alone because I have no one to validate me that I am doing well, and I feel like everything I do is worse than ever. I am also 21 so...I don't think I need to give on on having a relationship with people. Heh
1 person likes this
@MALUSE (37898)
• Germany
11 Jan 17
That's frightening! How can you live with so much self-imposed pressure? I'm sure people like you as you are and don't expect you to excel all the time. Can you talk about this with someone you trust?
• Peoria, Arizona
11 Jan 17
Haha, it's why I talk to the internet. So I can vent and feel better. I am bipolar so sometimes voices like to mess with me. Especially when I am talking to someone new.