My kids have always been my life but.............

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I stay quiet during many stories and fight to remain positive, but there are times that we cannot hold the pain for too long. I love my children way much more than I ever love myself. I gave everything up, set it aside for them. It is a parent's job, but I over did it. I Am in no way under any regrets. Is just that today they are adults, they verbally abuse me, I go out of my way to help them, my son and daughter who are the oldest ones. My son has two kids, my daughter is 20. They are very rude to me highly disrespectful, they trash me down on the floor, blackmail me, and only cling onto me when they need a place to stay. My son is 21. I have had relationships, they have had gotten the person against me, end up leaving me. They yell at me and mistreat me, tell me how to run my home, set rules and if I say I Am calling the cops, they threaten me with a mental institution and threaten me with hospitalizing me. If I have a job, they get angry and make it so hard on me until I leave it, then when I do not work they tell me to get a life. They do in my home whatever they want. Bring whoever they want, they have absolutely no respect for me. My son gets really close to my face to try to hit me. Meanwhile, I Am over doing the helping hand, also babysitting while they smoke pot. Being their taxi everywhere. In here where I live the law is I cannot throw them out the home, but I could move and they have to stay away from me and I can go to a marshall and keep them off my premises. I Am saving money to move. My chest feels pain when I breathe, every day, my eyes are so off, I no longer smile nor life. I Am no longer that happy person. The stress has taken over me so hard my whole body hurts and I drag my days. I cannot eat food sickens my stomach, I get really hard to stomach pains and this situation is killing me, I Am aware of that. I love the hell out my adult kids, I adore my grandkids, but is the time I snap out the maid shift and stand up to protect myself. I Am so hurt, so hurt, that I actually and literally feel like a corpse. My teeth are falling, my hair is falling, my self-esteem is destroyed. If only our children knew what we have been thru to raise them as single mothers, they will never destroy us like my selfish kids are doing to me. I Am just getting old and I Am only 41 feeling like I Am 100. I Am going to focus, find the apartment, move and start life fresh and stay away from them while I heal myself. They are killing me slowly. It hurts to smile, walk, laugh and breath. This is not a cry for help, is a reality check venting time.