Memory Good or Bad I Wsh I Had Not Said "Oh My God"

@Hatley (152380)
Garden Grove, California
March 30, 2017 2:32pm CST
Thinking about a co worker I was very fond of when we worked in the Tustin brancn of the Orange Countt Library system. One day she tolld me" you are older than me yet you have more energy My back is killing me.' " Adrian you need to see your doctor as thats been bugging you for too long. Adrian took time off to see her doctor. when she came back I was in the staff' room eating my lunch She told us tjey x rayed her and found she had a huge tumor in her lungs. Shocked knowing it had to be Ca I blurted out"oh Adrian oh m y God." She assured us she would be fine and hugged me I wanted to die having blurted out that. But alas I was right, Cancer and a month later chemo did not stop it, and she died in her sleep That burst out of mine has haunted me off and on this has been at least ten years ago. Mylotters have you ever blurted out a thought you wish you had n?? ot. I had not wanted to show i was scared for her One original post and graphic by P Hatley cp[righted 2017
12 people like this
14 responses
@amadeo (42245)
• United States
30 Mar
you were trying to help her and you did .She had her pain checked.How else was she going to do this.check did ever not check her pain out.Not your fault.You were concern and try to help her
4 people like this
@Hatley (152380)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar
I was afraid she had waited too long and she had I guess
1 person likes this
@amadeo (42245)
• United States
30 Mar
@Hatley yes,she had waited too long.Most people do wait too long about their pain.Pain is not our way of life.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (152380)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar
@amadeo yes we all tend to do that too we should not have pain
@jstory07 (57665)
• Roseburg, Oregon
30 Mar
I think she knew that you meant nothing bad and was just worried for her.
4 people like this
@Hatley (152380)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar
I certainly hope so. that cancer grew so fast but she had complained for weeks of a back ache
2 people like this
• United States
30 Mar
I think your response was a perfectly human response from someone who truly cared what was happening. I am sure she was not offended by it and understood your concern. Even though she could not be saved, you played a part in getting her to see her doctor and at least try to get treatment. You did a good thing and should not feel badly about your response. Love understands love.
2 people like this
@Hatley (152380)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar
I kept sending her funny things on her computer as humor often helps people overcome cancer
2 people like this
@Jessicalynnt (48199)
• Centralia, Missouri
30 Mar
I doubt she was that upset by it, it showed how worried you were. I just wish she had gone to the doctor sooner.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (152380)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Mar
Yes she might have l ived had she g one when she first started having a back ache
1 person likes this
• Centralia, Missouri
31 Mar
@Hatley maybe and maybe not, maybe they would have found something, maybe it would have been too early to tell, or they might have missed it. Can't blame ourselves for stuff outside our control
1 person likes this
@Hatley (152380)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Mar
@Jessicalynnt no its hard telling too she had just lost her husband to cancer of the liver I think she ultimately gave up as she was very lonely
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@Nawsheen (22907)
• Mauritius
31 Mar
It was you reacted like this because you were shocked and you cared for her. I am sorry for your loss too. Dont consider yourself guilty as at times it is difficult to.control our emotions and its normal i guess
1 person likes this
@Hatley (152380)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Mar
I ust reacted to y thoughts I felt she had waited too long and she had
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@Nawsheen (22907)
• Mauritius
1 Apr
@Hatley oh yes i agree. She should have rushed to the doctor when she started having the pains
• Pamplona, Spain
30 Mar
Must have been heart breaking for you and you could not help it as you were working with her and obviously knew her well. I would have had to run out so as not to say anything out loud. I would have been so upset myself. You only did what you thought at the time. Of course you remember it. I could not tell our Mom what she had got and it was way too late anyway she also went peacefully without knowing a thing.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (152380)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar
we worked together and became really good fr4iends she mothered me lol lol
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
30 Mar
@Hatley Bet you miss her a lot sometimes. I know I would. I have got close to a few people I worked with but sadly I had to leave them and I have not seen them since but at least I knew them and that is something.
@marlina (57196)
• Canada
31 Mar
So sorry that your friend passed away then. But you should not feel guilty about what you said to her.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (152380)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Mar
it was alopst l ike s o mething just pulled the words out of me I wa so shocked I was not expectng it
• Eugene, Oregon
31 Mar
It was not a bad reaction at all and it was heartfelt by you.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (152380)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Mar
Yes i t was as I just knew suddenly that it was c ancer amd was shocked and so sorry for her
1 person likes this
@Corbin5 (70442)
• United States
30 Mar
Well, I think it normal for someone to be so shocked by something like that and blurt out what they thought. You were definitely startled by what she told you. I am sure I have blurted something out due to being worried or startled.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (152380)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Mar
yes asI had iot expected aything bad at all
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (10489)
• Riga, Latvia
30 Mar
Of course. Blurting something out due to certain emotions is a natural thing. Usually it happens when I don't even think about it and yes, sometimes I sure wish I hadn't said a thing.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (152380)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar
andtheres no way one can undue what you said lol lol
1 person likes this
• Rochester, New York
30 Mar
In my mind I wouldn't take that response to be something bad. I'm sure she new you meant it in a positive way.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (152380)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar
yes I guessthat is true we were great frie nds
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (60128)
• Canada
30 Mar
I think it is a normal reaction you have for somebody you care about. She probably never thought much of it because she was scared too.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (152380)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar
yes I am sure you are right
1 person likes this
@paigea (19894)
• Canada
30 Mar
I think blurting that out just showed how much you cared and were worried for her. She probably felt that from you.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (152380)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar
yes se tried to make me feel she would be okay
1 person likes this
@CRK109 (14410)
• United States
30 Mar
I'm sure your thoughts were exactly the same as hers. I know she had to be terrified at what the doctors found and she knew you cared very deeply about her. After all, you're the one who encouraged her to see her doctor to begin with. If not for you, who knows how much sooner she would have passed away. There is no need to feel any remorse for your comment, Patsie. In the end, I know that she knew your true feelings for her life. xoxo
1 person likes this
@Hatley (152380)
• Garden Grove, California
30 Mar
yes I believe she did