~11 Going on 18?~

My Oldest Daughter
Valdosta, Georgia
April 3, 2017 3:31pm CST
My oldest daughter is such a sweet girl. She's loving and giving. She tries to make everyone happy and she hates when people are mad or upset with her. She's smart and independent. All of a sudden she hit 11, started her menstrual cycle and I feel like I lost my child somewhere. She's still sweet but at times this attitude problem she has breaks my heart. She was disrespectful on the phone with her dad and I today so the phone she was using to call and text us while there and to play games on is being taken away when she gets home. I know I went through the attitude stage too but I would never get away with it and neither is she. She's been told her whole life we're your parents-not your friends. Why can't they stay sweet little ones forever? Lol. Part of life I know but I don't have to like it!! I just hope its a stage and she won't be disrespectful towards us forever. We try so hard to raise our children right. I hope we are being successful at it. Sometimes she makes me question myself and my parenting... =(
22 people like this
22 responses
@MALUSE (69390)
• Germany
3 Apr 17
It's puberty, that's what it is. Of course, it'll pass but it will take some time. When she's through, the next child will start and so on. Prepare yourself for some rough years.
3 people like this
• Valdosta, Georgia
3 Apr 17
@MALUSE Ugh, I'm not ready for this! I wish we could turn back time a couple years so I can try to prepare myself more. Lol.
4 Apr 17
@LovingMyBabies but you have to prepare yourself. I know it's tough but no other option is there. You have to manipulate yourself and become her friend now otherwise she will not share her problems with you and then the distance between you two will increase. Although my daughter is 7 but I noticed the changes in her behaviour because of my momminess then one day I sit with her and talked very Cooley about all issues then realized "oh now she is grown up" from that day I have started behaving like friend with some limitation. You also do that and then see the changes.
@moffittjc (118813)
• Gainesville, Florida
3 Apr 17
She just testing the boundaries that you have set for her, seeing how far she can push before she gets a reaction out of you. It's part of growing up and becoming independent. Kids push boundaries all the time. It's a difficult transition time for them, where they want their independence but also want the connection with the family. I think every child goes through that phase.
2 people like this
• Valdosta, Georgia
4 Apr 17
@moffittjc Your absolutely right. At times she acts like the little girl she is and then other times she acts like she wants to be an adult and she's too cool to be a kid. It's strange to me and hard to handle.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Apr 17
@moffittjc Thank you! I try to be the best mother I can be to all of my babies. I hope they do love me, lately it doesn't feel like it.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118813)
• Gainesville, Florida
5 Apr 17
@LovingMyBabies Just keep being the great mom that you are, and keep loving on your children no matter what. Just remember that it's a phase she's going through, and eventually you'll make it through! You may not notice it right now, but your kids love you more than you can ever imagine!
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (85984)
• United States
3 Apr 17
That's got to be so hard. I hope her puberty stage evens itself out, and she can adjust to be older, but still the sweet young lady she is meant to be.
2 people like this
• Valdosta, Georgia
4 Apr 17
@Ambiepam It is hard at times. Yes me too thank you. Sometimes she's so sweet and then other times its like she's not even my baby girl anymore.
2 people like this
@jstory07 (135106)
• Roseburg, Oregon
4 Apr 17
@LovingMyBabies She is growing up and so sad when they go through each stage.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (460403)
• Switzerland
4 Apr 17
I hope it's only a stage, I have never been disrespectful toward my parents or my grandparents. I also had my menstrual cycle when I was 11.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
4 Apr 17
@LadyDuck I was never a disrespectful child either-which is what worries me. =( Today she is all apologies and I'm hoping it will be just a phase once she realizes she won't get away with it.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Apr 17
@LadyDuck Whenever it's that "time" of the month she has that attitude.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (460403)
• Switzerland
4 Apr 17
@LovingMyBabies I sincerely hope it's only a phase may be she was in a bad mood for something that has happened.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (326663)
• Rockingham, Australia
4 Apr 17
I guess that, unfortunately, it will get worse before it gets better. But she is just a normal young girl and bound to push the boundaries from time to time.
2 people like this
• Valdosta, Georgia
4 Apr 17
@JudyEv Yeah I know. =( I am hoping this phase will pass soon.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99386)
• Canada
3 Apr 17
I hope things get better quickly. You are doing the right thing by letting her know that it won't be tolerated. Even though she is only 11 kids grow up way too fast these days. The years ahead could be tough ones. She trying to find out who she is and who she will be. She is between being a child and a teen. She will have many ups and downs and many emotions. They do grow out of it and things do get better. I promise you that but it won't be easy. Things are so much easier when they are just kids.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
4 Apr 17
@Happy2beme Thank you, me too. I miss my sweet little girl. Kids do grow up so fast! And she is Home Schooled-I cannot imagine how she would be if she went to public school! Aaahhh! Yeah I think she's having a hard time deciding where she fits in. Some days she wants to act grown and other days she still wants to be our baby. It's hard.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Apr 17
@Happy2BeMe Thank you. =) I hope one day she will appreciate what I do for her.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99386)
• Canada
4 Apr 17
@LovingMyBabies Yes she is at that age. With your guidance she will get through it. She might not always like what you will have to say or do but in the long run she will appreciate it. Might not be now but it will be later in life.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
4 Apr 17
This too will pass but it will be 7 or 8 years I am afraid. I remember my sweet daughter getting her hormones at 12 and then boom, in comes the attitude and the sweet moments were a lot harder to find but I spend many hours with her laying on my bed watching TV and subtly filling her head with morals and values that you need to survive as a teen. She turned out wonderful and once she had children I suddenly became really smart again lol
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
4 Apr 17
@BelleStarr Thank you. I cannot wait for this to pass but I do know I have a while. Lol. Her and I always talk and she knows I won't lie to her about anything. She knows she can come to me and I am glad for that. She has her sweet moments-just not as often anymore. =( Hopefully one day she will love us again.
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (135106)
• Roseburg, Oregon
4 Apr 17
Girls are worse than boys are and they seem to grew up faster to. I hope it is just a stage that she is going through.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
4 Apr 17
@jstory07 Yes it's hard to see her the way she is lately. =( Hopefully she will get through it quickly.
@LeaPea2417 (36588)
• Toccoa, Georgia
4 Apr 17
I hope it is a stage she is going through. I understand what you are going through to an extent. I only had boys and I do understand the feelings you have because both of mine had their moments of being disrespectful to me and their Dad.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Apr 17
@Leapea2417 I hope so too. Whenever that "time" of month comes she gets an attitude problem. =(
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (36588)
• Toccoa, Georgia
5 Apr 17
@LovingMyBabies I think a lot of us women, no matter what the age, gets uptight and sassy at that time of month.
@jaboUK (64361)
• United Kingdom
3 Apr 17
Parenting is the hardest job in the world, but also the most rewarding. It seems like you are doing a good job, and I'm sure your daughter will soon realise that you won't tolerate any disrespect.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
4 Apr 17
@jaboUK It is tough. I just keep praying we are doing right by our kids.
1 person likes this
• Canada
3 Apr 17
My oldest turns 12 this September and attitude is a real issue. I wouldn't have gotten away with the stuff she tries to pull. She doesn't have her own cellphone yet mostly because I don't think she can handle the responsibility.
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
6 Apr 17
@morethanamom Our daughter is very mature for her age and takes good care of her phone but the attitude ruined that privilege for her. Once she's more grateful and respectful she might get it back. Time will tell.
1 person likes this
• Canada
6 Apr 17
@LovingMyBabies and as the parent, we are the ones to make the decision. :)
• Avon, Connecticut
22 Apr 17
It will get better, trust me.....
• Prairieville, Louisiana
13 Apr 17
Maybe she was having a bad day.
4 Apr 17
She's in the developing stage wherein people of her age can influence her. Im sure you are the best mom. Continue what you are doing. And be her bestfriend too. That's how my mom worked it out until now. :D
1 person likes this
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Apr 17
@homebasedbobbie Yeah she is at a hard age right now. =( Hopefully with time she will realize I'm doing the best I can for her.
1 person likes this
9 Apr 17
@LovingMyBabies you'll be alright. :D
@Shellyann36 (11385)
• United States
7 Apr 17
Oh, I am so glad I have all boys! Good luck with the pre-teen attitudes.
@silvermist (19702)
• India
7 Apr 17
@LovingMyBabies All girls pass through this stage.I was not disrespectful towards parents.But I think that it is the time we are living that has to be blamed.
@Tampa_girl7 (49274)
• United States
6 Apr 17
She's just testing the watersit will pass
@Courtlynn (66918)
• United States
4 Apr 17
Everyone goes through it. Some worse than others. But its okay. Just breathe and Remember you were once that age. And its okay to be her friend, but always kore her parent.
• Prairieville, Louisiana
13 Apr 17
Kids do need discipline but you should let things slide sometimes.I slid from discipline at school sometimes.
@ron484 (27)
12 Apr 17
She's adorable... Don't worry.... It'll be alright