Love Is In The Air
By Darcy Nemo
August 4, 2017 8:50am CST
Heard an interesting love story today. She, a naive but attractive and highly educated Singaporean in her mid 30s, has been engaged for a couple of years (or perhaps longer) to a Nigerian (Christian) minister. The odd thing about it is, both have never met each other in real life. The engagement took place in cyber. I was shown the fiance's photo from Nigeria. He looked handsome but youngish, in his mid 20s. (The lady had told me that her loving fiance was older than her, in his early 40s and that she would trust him with her life.) Since one of my best friends happened to be black African, and her first two sons, 20ish, looked similar to this Nigerian minister, I don't know what to think. Would you engage (for real) to anyone from the cyber world with the view to marriage, thinking that love would conquer all? (I could believe in the 'falling in love' part, but to have a cyber fiance for years without ever seeing the guy for real? )
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I heard similar cases with the victims were lonely widows or divorcees from the US or UK. A few came to Africa to build the love nest with their intendeds, bringing along all the hard cash they had, as instructed. They got killed right in their hotel rooms.
My personal opinion is that it's important to meet each other in real life before committing to any relationships. I find this story to be extraordinary. It could really happen but is their engagement valid or is it purely a verbal agreement ?
Guess in certain countries, renege on an engagement is not a done thing, but in many modern countries these days, I don't think 'engagement' is a serious matter. The odd thing about this case is, they never met each other in real life (plenty of couples these days tend to just live with each other first - long before committing to each other via engagement). Extra odd, because the lady had complete trust in the authenticity of this unseen fiance.
That cannot be avoided if they keep on chatting and seeing each other on Skype. But if it is only through emails and pictures, I am afraid to trust someone like that. The cyber world is with different kinds of people, scammers and the like.
That sounds silly to me. I would have to meet the person. I did meet my husband online but the first time I met him in person is what I consider the first time I met him. I certainly didn't start to fall in love with him before I met him in person.
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I don't blame you for your hesitation -- I have had many online romances through the years - thought I knew the person well, but by the time you get to meet them -- they are not who you thought they were at all. It is disappointing. I hope your friend will be alright