Do You Hold Grudges?
By Ann LeFlore
@poehere (15126)
French Polynesia
September 10, 2017 10:10pm CST
There are some people who just can’t let go and move on. My mother is one of these people. In the last few days she has been sending me blasting emails about things that happened 10 years ago. Who cares? Since she closed my bank account, refuses to admit what she has done, and continue to treat me like a 3 year old, I haven’t talked to her in 4 months and I don’t plan on talking to her now.
I can’t stand a person who dredges up the past and throws it in your face every time they see you. These types of people have a selective memory and only want to remember what they choose. Life is too short to be bothered by these sorts of people.
Stop living in the past and look towards the future. If you have old grudges that you just can’t seem to forget, forget them now. Put the past to rest and look to the horizon for a brighter future. Keep the past in the past and move forward. There is still a lot of life to live so enjoy it. If someone keeps throwing stuff in your face, look away. Be stronger than they are and ignore them. This is the only way to be happy. Don’t answer them back and get into an argument that you can’t win. Walk away and turn your back. Put the sun in your face and walk forward.
We all have a past and at times it comes back to haunt us. So don’t give in to the past, instead look to the future. What do you think is in the future for you? I see a bight one for me. Hope it is the same for you.
12 people like this
14 responses
@LadyDuck (458556)
• Switzerland
11 Sep 17
My mother looks a lot like yours, she has nothing against me, but every time we meet she has to talk about my grandmother (the mother of my father) going back even 60 years to criticize what she did and what she said. It is sooooo annoying.4 people like this
@poehere (15126)
• French Polynesia
12 Sep 17
@LadyDuck The other thing I can stand is "When I was a little girl it was like this" Wow how long ago was that. Plus she is always complaining about my daughter. Then when I saw something in return she has to fight over it. But then she said she didn't want my daughter to know where she lived. But she is complaining that my daughter won't come and visit. OK NOW make up yuor mind. I don't like being in a conversation you can't understand and it changes too often.
1 person likes this
@poehere (15126)
• French Polynesia
13 Sep 17
@LadyDuck She is one strange person. When I called the bank they told me what happened and how she closed my account. Over the weekend she must of called me 20 times before I answered. She told me she was going to the bank on Monday to find out why they told me she closed my account. I told her flat out it was my account and they have to tell me. Don't be stupid. My name was first on this account and yours was second. By law they should of had my signature to close out this account.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
11 Sep 17
I don't hold grudges much, I would much rather forgive and move forward. Holding onto things only hurts ourselves, no one else.
I hope I have a bright future ahead but only God knows for sure. =)
2 people like this
@poehere (15126)
• French Polynesia
11 Sep 17
I also do like you Jennifer. Before when my mom did something or said something to me, I would be angry for weeks. It wasn't a lot of fun. Then one day I said the heck with her and stopped talking to her. She was basically the only negative person in my life. Now and then she will try and reach out and in the end it all goes back to the same old story and the same old complaints. It is basically about me, my daughter and her children. Sick of hearing this. Now I just hang up and say got to run.
2 people like this
@poehere (15126)
• French Polynesia
11 Sep 17
It is hard to move forward when you have one negative person in your life that is always trying to drag you down and hold you back. I had to cut ties with my mom because I couldn't take anymore. I think it is better to forget like you say and yes at times it can be extremely hard to do this.
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (10745)
• Canada
11 Sep 17
I always see my future as bright and I treasure ever day I am given.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
11 Sep 17
It is sound advice to move along with life. I'm sorry it sounds like your mom can be difficult at times. Sometimes I hold grudges, but it has to be something huge.
1 person likes this
@poehere (15126)
• French Polynesia
11 Sep 17
You have no idea about her at all. She is a nasty, bitter person who believes that we, her children owe her a life. She sent me to live with my uncle when I was 13. I feel she has no right to be difficult or hold a grudge. I don't hold one against her for what she did to me.
2 people like this
@poehere (15126)
• French Polynesia
12 Sep 17
@FayeHazel Yes it does. I found this out years ago. Her and my sister have this and that is why I live so far away and won't go back to see them. It is better for me to keep my distance.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40248)
• United States
11 Sep 17
@poehere It is true - I don't know your mom at all , or your situation exactly.... however there is a really difficult person in my family as well. If you get time and inclination to - look up Narcissistic Personality Disorder ... or read tales of those who have grown up with a narc - see if it doesn't fit your situation too.... it sort of sounds that way to me
@snowy22315 (170142)
• United States
11 Sep 17
My mother isn't a very nice person either. She is nasty and snippy with me, and I am pretty sick of it.I also don't like the way she treats my dad, although she has improved on that a bit. She seems to think life owes her something..when she gives next to nothing!
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (47084)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
11 Sep 17
I'll admit that I will sometimes hold a grudge, although I am not nearly as bad as your mom. I don't want to hold a grudge. I know it's not the right thing to do. So, it is something that I'm working on. When I do hold a grudge, I do try to get over it and forget about it.
@Bluedoll (16774)
• Canada
11 Sep 17
You sea a bite one for youself? I'm joking. Now doen't go and change that. ha ha
A typo is not the end of the world - that will come soon enough. Not joking.
I agree with everything you wrote. You are right we shouldn't hold grudges. Hurt can be left in the past. But we do bring up the past sometimes and it might be human nature to do so. I also agree it is better for us if we can look to the future and make it better than the past. 
I find however the just move on idea does gets overused by everyone in this world? I think we are who we are by all three, past, present and future. We grow by living in the present and having a past that has shaped us into who we are now and we also create ourselves new by projecting ourselves into the future. All three should make us grow and not trouble us. But sometimes it doesn't work that way.
Older people depending on how old they are, their mental state, health and how busy they do make their future less meaningful. Some older ones actually do know they don't much of a future left. It's as simple as that. Some have too much time on their hands and so they tend to think of the past and then relive it?
I find however the just move on idea does gets overused by everyone in this world? I think we are who we are by all three, past, present and future. We grow by living in the present and having a past that has shaped us into who we are now and we also create ourselves new by projecting ourselves into the future. All three should make us grow and not trouble us. But sometimes it doesn't work that way.
Older people depending on how old they are, their mental state, health and how busy they do make their future less meaningful. Some older ones actually do know they don't much of a future left. It's as simple as that. Some have too much time on their hands and so they tend to think of the past and then relive it?
@DaddyEvil (137142)
• United States
13 Sep 17
WOW! From 10 years ago? 
I can remember stuff that long, but unless someone is talking about something to remind me of it, I wouldn't even think about it on my own! SMH!
Hmmm... I have a question for you and I hope I don't say this badly... Sometimes, when a couple fight, one or the other of them tries to bring up stuff that happened last year or even longer ago. Usually it has no relevance, either... I have never understood that.
Do you have any idea why they would do that? (It's okay if you don't know, either. I am just curious.)@poehere (15126)
• French Polynesia
14 Sep 17
My mom does it all the time and I still can't figure that one out. If I ever do get in a fight with my boyfriend we don't do that to each other. We leave it in the past and why bring it up again. I don't know a lot of people who do this one, but she is one of them for sure.
@1creekgirl (40564)
• United States
11 Sep 17
Really good advice. Sorry about your mother, but sometimes we just have to let go of people who are harmful emotionally to us.
@just4him (306559)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
12 Sep 17
I'm sorry she has been blasting you with horrid e-mails. My mother was also one who held a grudge for a very long time. She always brought up the past. She was the only one in my life who was like that. I agree, the best thing you can do is put those e-mails behind you and move forward into the future. The future is a bright place filled with hope and love.
My future is a good one. I just need to discover it.
@poehere (15126)
• French Polynesia
14 Sep 17
@just4him That was my mom too. No matter who my friends were she hated them all. I think it was because they took time away from her. One time my brother's wife came down when I was there with my dad. She came to see my dad with her girls. My dad was so sick at this time and the doctor's didn't think he would live much longer. My mom complained about my sister in law and the two girls non stop. We went out each day to do something to get away from her. One time she screamed at me and started crying. It was so strange. She was telling me that she wanted me to take her shopping near Mexico and why would't I do this for her but I would do it for Debbie. She is one selfish person and I just ignored her and left with Debbie and the kids. We had so much fun without her being there. She wanted me to take her because she wanted me to buy everything for her. That was always her way when we went anywhere she always forgot her money. I finally gave up going anywhere with her.
1 person likes this
@poehere (15126)
• French Polynesia
13 Sep 17
You are so right. I had a good laugh about them and thought wow this is really insane. I got tired of getting one after another and finally blasted her back. I know this was stupid but it was the only way she would stop doing this to me. She even called me on Skype 20 times and I hung up on her each time never answering the call. Then came the text messages one after another. Finally, she tried on Facetime to get a hold of me. I told her to leave me alone in the email i sent to her, Finally, I stopped receiving them.
1 person likes this
@just4him (306559)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
13 Sep 17
@poehere I'm glad you were able to laugh at them. I find I can easily laugh at things my mother said about me because they were so untrue. She even had the audacity to send my best friend a letter one time and it was filled with so much bitterness and hatred. My friend showed it to me and I read it. She couldn't believe she got a letter like that from my mother. I couldn't believe my mother would send something like that to my best friend. She was hoping to break up our friendship. It's still going strong. My friend would not believe the lies in that letter.
@YrNemo (20261)
•
11 Sep 17
Ouch, I feel for you! Some of my old relatives do that to their children, and we cousins often compare notes, and simply hate that! (Nothing worse like having some family members with selective memory.)
@poehere (15126)
• French Polynesia
11 Sep 17
My mom could win the Nobel prize on this one. I couldn't even finish reading her emails before I was boiling. It was so hard not to blast her back. But ignoring her makes it better for me. Not for her because she just keeps on and on. Finally I had to do a reject of her email and send them all back. Now here comes the phone calls on Skype, ouch hang up don't answer. Now the text messages. She won't stop and sooner or later I will get so angry i will tell her off.
1 person likes this
@Christinb (390)
•
11 Sep 17
Thanks for the advice,as for me I don't hold grudges if someone has done anything wrong to me I confront them n we talk it over n we solve it rightaway
@poehere (15126)
• French Polynesia
11 Sep 17
That is an excellent way to be. I am so happy that you do this. I would rather solve the problem than holding it inside of me.
