My Visit With Mom Yesterday was Terrific
@BelleStarr (61047)
United States
November 13, 2017 5:18pm CST
My mom has dementia, she is 102 years old. Some days when I visit her she is happy and smiling, other days she won't make eye contact with me and just looks away. She is in a nursing home.
Yesterday, my husband and I stopped in to visit her after church. She was sitting in the big room watching TV with other patients. I stood in front of her and smiled. She got the biggest smile and then looked at my husband and smiled. I leaned in to give her a kiss and she kissed me back several times, she knew who I was.
She no longer calls me by name or really converses but she tried to say things to me. I took her into her room and showed her some pictures of her siblings and also of my brothers and my grandkids. She smiled and said "les garcons" which means "the boys" which is what she called my brothers.
I can't begin to tell you how happy this visit made me. Sometimes I leave the home so depressed but I was smiling when I left yesterday. For a brief moment, it was as if I had my mommy back.
37 people like this
34 responses
@Happy2BeMe (99390)
• Canada
13 Nov 17
Awwww those are beautiful moments you will treasure forever. What a beautiful picture.
8 people like this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
15 Nov 17
@BelleStarr yes she looks better then i do at 70 
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
14 Nov 17
Thank you, my mom was a beautiful woman when she was younger and I think she still looks pretty good for 102.
7 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
14 Nov 17
She did have a good life but it is hard when someone you love doesn't recognize you.
5 people like this
@rebelann (111312)
• El Paso, Texas
14 Nov 17
Yeah, I've been told by some of my friends (hispanic) that their grandparents are more comfortable with their first language which is Spanish @BelleStarr but strangely enough my friends Japanese step mom (84) has not reverted to Japanese.
3 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
14 Nov 17
@rebelann My mother spoke English all the time when she lived at home (until she was 97) but somehow in her mind she now lives more in the past.
3 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
14 Nov 17
Yes she is French Canadian and French is her first language. She still has an accent I am told though I don't hear it.
5 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
14 Nov 17
I really treasure every one of these days I have with her, they are getting more rare but I live for them.
5 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
14 Nov 17
I am sorry if it made you sad but think of the good times and enjoy the memory.
3 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
14 Nov 17
Thank you, yes I think she does too and she is quite amazingly healthy, noo high blood pressure or cholesterol or diabetes.
4 people like this
@DianneN (247219)
• United States
16 Nov 17
@BelleStarr That is truly amazing!!!!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157722)
• United States
14 Nov 17
What a wonderful visit that was. Her personality just shines out in this picture. I wish you more good days than bad.
4 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
14 Nov 17
Thank you, from your mouth to God's ears!! I haven't been visiting much because I come away so depressed and upset but this visit makes me want to go back to visiting every day.
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
17 Nov 17
Thank I am too, it really made my day.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (48503)
• Canada
14 Nov 17
Oh the sparkle in her eyes here really does say what has to be felt in her heart!
When I worked with seniors, what I found helped was a basket of warm hand towels and face clothes in a basket. If a person can sit there at a table and fold them, quite often just doing that simple task makes it easier to communicate with them. Why don't you try that some day? I used to hate seeing family members leaving after a visit where their loved one wasn't having a good day, and I found that this helped.
When I worked with seniors, what I found helped was a basket of warm hand towels and face clothes in a basket. If a person can sit there at a table and fold them, quite often just doing that simple task makes it easier to communicate with them. Why don't you try that some day? I used to hate seeing family members leaving after a visit where their loved one wasn't having a good day, and I found that this helped.5 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
14 Nov 17
She can't use her hands, they have atrophy. It happened after she got to the nursing home, sort of one finger at a time. She can't grab or hold onto anything her hands are clenched. But yes, at home we would bring out the silver and have her polish it.
4 people like this
@Juliaacv (48503)
• Canada
14 Nov 17
@BelleStarr Sometimes just a little lapcover that has a pleasing feel to it, nice soft fabric, will help settle someone that cannot grip things. I had a sweet little old lady in that predicament. I'm glad that you had a nice good visit.
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
14 Nov 17
Yes it was, I went out of the home with my heart singing.
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
17 Nov 17
Thank you, I love to take pictures of her when she's happy it gets me through the bad times.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
14 Nov 17
Yes it was and the warm feeling will stay with me for a while.
4 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
14 Nov 17
@JudyEv Yes you were, I would love to be able to just talk to my mom like we used to.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (326434)
• Rockingham, Australia
14 Nov 17
@BelleStarr My Mum got to 104 but she didn't have dementia. We were very lucky in that respect.
4 people like this
@ilocosboy (45157)
• Philippines
13 Nov 17
That was a precious moment of a loving daughter with her beautiful mother.
4 people like this
@peachpurple (13884)
• Malaysia
14 Nov 17
wow, congrats that your mom made you happy by smiling at you and she is a century years old! My mom has partial dementia due to stroke. She can remember me and my kids but she cannot remember current things such as "had her breakfast already or not" those trivial matters, she cannot remember at all. I missed her, wanted to visit her
5 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
14 Nov 17
Yes it is hard to lose the mothers that we love, I have her physically but not mentally.
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
17 Nov 17
Yes she was born in French Canada, she is half Irish Half French but she only spoke French when she came to this country in the 1940s.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
17 Nov 17
@YrNemo Not perfect but I read, write and understand so I manage quite well in France or in Quebec.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (20261)
•
17 Nov 17
@BelleStarr You must be good in that language too I presume (French)?
1 person likes this
