MALE OR FEMALE?

pixabay image.
@Kandae11 (27001)
November 17, 2017 12:09pm CST
This issue must have been raised many times before, but I am hoping that with frequent mention perhaps a solution may be found. Many times when I am about to respond to a discussion, I realize that I do not know if the member is male or female - and I would find it embarrassing to ask. Depending on the kind of discussion I am responding to - it would be important to know in order to give a suitable response. I cannot tell from the person's avatar and when I check the profile - there is nothing there. A member once suggested that a simple F or M could be placed next to the members' avatar. What do you suggest? Have you ever responded to a member's discussions thinking that you are responding to a male - then later down the road you find out that the member is female?
26 people like this
29 responses
@amadeo (47974)
• United States
17 Nov
well they should work out something.But I do not find this bothersome. Never had any problem with this.
6 people like this
@Kandae11 (27001)
17 Nov
That is good to know.
2 people like this
@amadeo (47974)
• United States
17 Nov
2 people like this
• India
24 Nov
I too agree with this so far i havent in such a position
@Happy2BeMe (70192)
• Canada
17 Nov
It has happened to me a number of times here. It would be much easier if we knew.
4 people like this
@Kandae11 (27001)
17 Nov
Especially depending on the discussion you are responding to.
4 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (70192)
• Canada
17 Nov
@Kandae11 Yes so true.
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (91036)
• Marion, Kansas
18 Nov
There will always be people who do not want us to know any details about them. I try to be gender neutral and will admit if I cannot, and I do not know for sure, I give a generic response or no response at all. If we start requiring too much from people it may inhibit them from joining.
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (27001)
18 Nov
I agree, but I don't consider a simple matter as letting people know if you are male or female - detailed information. I don't want to know what the member looks like - or even where he or she is from, but I would like to know if I am responding to a man or a woman so I can respond correctly - how intrusive can that be?
1 person likes this
@pumpkinjam (5714)
• United Kingdom
18 Nov
I don't think I've done it myself here, but people have done it with me! If I'm not sure, I'll check the profile and, perhaps, look through their other activity. A lot of the time, gender isn't relevant to the discussion. If it is relevant, I'm sure nobody would mind being asked.
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (27001)
18 Nov
I have never asked - and I hope I never have to, I won't feel comfortable doing that. I have checked profiles and found the relevant information in some - not all. I have gone through discussions in order to identify - but that is time consuming.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (8553)
18 Nov
How about a Transvestite case? a T? I chatted to some members for a while, so sure that that person was a lady in her 60s. I found out later that it was a he in his 70s. No harm done there since I never addressed the member as anything.
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (27001)
18 Nov
So much simpler if we know .
1 person likes this
@bluesa (12812)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
18 Nov
I think an M or F next to an avatar would definitely help. Though I sometimes read through a few discussions to see if I can figure it out.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (27001)
18 Nov
I have done that too - but it takes up extra time which I do not have.
2 people like this
@bluesa (12812)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
22 Nov
@Kandae11 very true. Having an M or F with the profile would be so much simpler.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26885)
• United States
17 Nov
I generally know if someone is male or female somehow but I have had a few people think I was a male.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (27001)
17 Nov
After a while you can pick up who is or who isn't but mistakes can be made initially.
1 person likes this
@Madshadi (4749)
• Brussels, Belgium
17 Nov
I don’t think that we need that. If member’s gender is somehow related to what is being discussed then he/she could simply point it out.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (27001)
17 Nov
I suppose they could - if they would.
1 person likes this
17 Nov
Such things goes on occurring to me! But I don't take it seriously! And yes But they don't occur frequently to me. When such thing happens I instantly ask for the forgiveness.That's all !! But yes again, the problem with Kandase is not to be taken lightly? What do you think about it????
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (27001)
17 Nov
I would be embarrassed if I made an unsuitable comment.
1 person likes this
@MALUSE (32807)
• Denmark
17 Nov
@creativeaashish Asking forgiveness is exaggerated for an error which is not your fault. A simple 'sorry' is enough in my opinion.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (27001)
17 Nov
@MALUSE I agree.
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
17 Nov
there are times when I'm surprised by which gender a contributer is too
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (27001)
17 Nov
It caught me this morning - again - that prompted me to write this post.
1 person likes this
• Preston, England
17 Nov
@Kandae11 many of my replies are gender-nuetral anyhow
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (27001)
18 Nov
@arthurchappell That's good.
1 person likes this
@suripunj (615)
• New Delhi, India
17 Nov
Yes ,even more clueless when person's avatar is sketched.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (26885)
• United States
17 Nov
Yes like your photo and my photo of a cat shows nothing of my gender
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (27001)
17 Nov
@Suripunj Not if it is done by a talented artist.
1 person likes this
@suripunj (615)
• New Delhi, India
17 Nov
@Raelove (15514)
• Saco, Maine
18 Nov
I'm glad you've brought this up, as I, too, have wondered about the gender of a few people here. It does pose a problem at times when responding or when engaged in long conversations.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (27001)
18 Nov
Exactly! I really don't consider that being intrusive.
1 person likes this
@Raelove (15514)
• Saco, Maine
18 Nov
@Kandae11 I don't either. Without mentioning any names, I've had long conversations with at least one person here whose gender I have no idea about. I find it annoying actually. I'm not quite sure why someone would be reluctant to share that. It would be preferable to someone needing to ask them, which would, to me, be very awkward. Gender also changes the dynamic of some conversations. Like, there are some ways in which a woman would not be able to relate the a male experience, and vice versa.
@ilocosboy (33280)
• Philippines
18 Nov
Yeah, I'm so much in favor in putting M or F in the avatar. I have also been embarrassed of this situation because i mention He when in fact it supposed to be She.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (27001)
18 Nov
I have seen it occur many times in the discussions of others.
@ilocosboy (33280)
• Philippines
19 Nov
And I committed mistakes many times.
@ridingbet (37922)
• Philippines
18 Nov
my name is a female. but there are a couple of users who address me as DUDE, or BRO.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (27001)
18 Nov
Maybe that's just their style.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (37922)
• Philippines
21 Nov
@Kandae11 yes, and they will gain more comments or responses. but for me, if once they tell me that and still they repeat it, i will no longer visit their page.
@LeaPea2417 (15331)
• Toccoa, Georgia
18 Nov
I never thought about that.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (27001)
18 Nov
Okay.
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (33144)
• Anniston, Alabama
18 Nov
I have never thought about this, I just respond to the subject because so many people pretend they are someone else online.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (27001)
18 Nov
I like to know - at least - if I am responding to a man or a woman.
@responsiveme (14414)
• India
18 Nov
Yup....Only , I thought I was talking to a F only to find out later it was a M. In my profile , I have made it clear that I am an F and also in my intro post....I have been called a dude though
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (27001)
18 Nov
You have? Definitely a case of paying little or no attention.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (55770)
• India
18 Nov
I still do not know if I am doing the right thing as I may be thinking that someone I respond to is a male when in fact they could be a woman,
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (27001)
18 Nov
It can be quite a bother for those of us who like to be correct when we respond.
@lady1993 (15642)
• Philippines
18 Nov
I think it has happened to me just once, but i usually do not use him or her or any gender pronouns?
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (27001)
18 Nov
That's wise - when in doubt, leave out.
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (9613)
• Malaysia
18 Nov
Usually I can tell either from their name, avatar or the description they write on their profile page but like you said, sometimes it's impossible to tell. But I can't remember ever mistaking a male for a female and vice versa. I hope I won't!
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (27001)
18 Nov
They will understand if you do.
1 person likes this