Why do Some Hate Their Mother-in-law?
By josefina
@josie_ (9763)
Philippines
November 27, 2017 6:18pm CST
"Every time I'm around my mother-in-law...I wonder who is running hell in her absence."
When my mother-in-law was still alive, I used to tease her saying that "I decided to marry your son only after I met you". Even if there was a wide age-gap between us, our's was more of a kindred sisters type of relationship. Sometimes my husband would find us in a conspiratorial huddle giggling like two teenagers about some matters we found amusing. Yet we were two people whose behavioral attributes and temperament were on opposite poles. I often wonder how we manage to get along so well and I still miss her.
Maybe I am one of the few lucky daughter-in-laws.
One research study showed that:
1. one in four daughters-in-law resent their mother-in-laws for being too
"controlling".
2.Two-thirds of daughters-in-law believe that their husband's mother is overly
protective of their son (mama's boy) and this jealous maternal love often
interfere with their own husband-wife relationship.
3. Many believe that their mother-in-law meddle in the upbringing of their
children often to the point of spoiling them. (I'm guilty of this)
4. Over half the women interviewed describe their relationship with their mother- in-laws as "hostile" or "difficult" while more than half of the older women say they feel "tense, uneasy and uncomfortable" with their daughter-in-law.
How do you rate your relationship with your mother-in-law?
Photo: Wikimedia Commons
4. Over half the women interviewed describe their relationship with their mother- in-laws as "hostile" or "difficult" while more than half of the older women say they feel "tense, uneasy and uncomfortable" with their daughter-in-law.
How do you rate your relationship with your mother-in-law?
Photo: Wikimedia Commons14 people like this
14 responses
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
28 Nov 17
I hae a great relationship with my mother-in-law and that's because she had a terrible one with hers. She told me she promised herself long time ago that she'd never meddle with her children's spouses. She kept that promise.
4 people like this
@toniganzon (72279)
• Philippines
28 Nov 17
@josie_ My mother-in-law stays here only for a short vacation and that's only every two years.
3 people like this
@josie_ (9763)
• Philippines
28 Nov 17
@toniganzon _No wonder you have a great relationship with her.
1 person likes this
@averygirl72 (37739)
• Philippines
28 Nov 17
I don't have mother-in-law because I'm single. It seems like you have good relationship with your mother in laws like you said man are uneasy and uncomfortable with their mother in laws
4 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Nov 17
My husband's mother is an awful person. My husband doesn't speak to her and hasn't in 12 years now. She wasn't a good mother to him, always high or drunk. =( She wants nothing to do with our family so we don't have anything to do with her.
3 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Nov 17
@josie_ I hope and pray my kids and I will always be close and I think we will too. Thank you. =)
3 people like this
@josie_ (9763)
• Philippines
28 Nov 17
It is unfortunate when parent-children relationship don't go well. A situation I believe that won't happen in your's judging from your @LovingMyBabies
2 people like this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
28 Nov 17
I get along with my "mother-in-law" okay. Though she didn't raise my partner. I also got along with his adoptive mother (his grandma), although I've learned things about her since her passing that might have changed my views on her had I known them before I met her. (She had no business adopting a child and was emotionally abusive.) She was always a sweetheart to me, though.
My partner gets along fine with my mom, although he and my dad kinda hate each other.
I also got along great with my brother's ex-MIL and still am friendly with her when I see her. She wasn't my in-law, but her daughter was my sister-in-law, and I loved their family. I was sad when my brother and SIL divorced.
3 people like this
@Srbageldog (7716)
• United States
28 Nov 17
@josie_ Yes, he turned out alright, although I've noticed he lacks empathy (a trait he learned from her.) She never kept food in the house and starved him...other relatives have verified this. She also lorded it over his head that he was adopted and would often give away his belongings without asking. His mother was also adopted by the same woman and she treated her differently than she treated her biological children, so I think that played a major role in how she raised my partner.
2 people like this
@josie_ (9763)
• Philippines
28 Nov 17
@Srbageldog _I have seen movies about professional foster parents who do it for the monthly stipend handed out by the gov't. Somehow I'm at a loss at the way your partner's "grandma" treated him. Hopefully given time and people who have real affection for him, this lack of empathy borne out of the harsh environment of his youth will gradually change.
2 people like this
@josie_ (9763)
• Philippines
28 Nov 17
So it was your partner's grandma who raise him. This is very common in our Filipino culture. Often it is out of expediency when both parents have to work or like many OFWs (Oversea Filipino workers) are abroad. Your partner seem to have turn out alright under the care of his grandmother or you would not have remain with him if he had any emotional baggage from his upbringing that might have impinge on his present relationship with you.
2 people like this
@much2say (53945)
• Los Angeles, California
28 Nov 17
I don't hate my mother-in-law . . . she's actually nice for the most part, but we are just different. She runs her family differently from my family . . . and because our way of doing things differs so much from each other, she drives me nuts 
.
.2 people like this
. I wouldn't say she is a bad person . . . she just doesn't "think" a lot.
@allknowing (130063)
• India
2 Feb 18
Because the anagram of mother - in - law is woman hitler
1 person likes this
@cahaya1983 (11121)
• Malaysia
12 Dec 17
Mine lives abroad, so because of the geographical distance I don't get to see her often. But we've never had problems, we share stories with each other every time we meet and I actually learned cooking from her.
1 person likes this
. Because of her, I met my wonderful husband
. I pray to God that she always lives a long and healthy life
@rubyriaz007 (4188)
• India
28 Nov 17
If a mother -in- law treats you like her own daughter there is no reason to hate her,but if she treats her daughter-in-law differently ,she will be definitely hated by her daughter-in-law.A daughter-in -laws when steps into her new house she expects only love and respect from her in-laws, nothing more than that, and if she does not get it,she would definitely hate her mother- in-law. I have a good and friendly relation with my mother -in -law, she is very caring.
1 person likes this
@josie_ (9763)
• Philippines
28 Nov 17
Many Asian tradition and culture dictate that when a woman enter's her husband's home, she becomes a part of his family. She leaves her former life with her own family behind. It can be a daunting experience for a new bride, especially if it was an arrange marriage between families. Perhaps in today's modern era not so much since women have more independence and are aware of their own interests and values.
1 person likes this
