Have You Been Sexually Harassed
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
Canada
November 30, 2017 9:51am CST
While reading the paper and watching the news seeing more and more women coming out and telling their history with men who disrespect women, I thought of my youth.
Back in the olden days people didn't talk about it and its about time to do so.
When I was around 14 or 15 I was babysitting a neighbor who walked me home after he and his wife got home . I had been sitting for them for a long time, and one night on our walk he hit on me (verbally- he never touched me) and it scared the daylights out of me, I ran away from him, I told my parents and never babysat for them again. I think my Dad had a conversation with the creep. I honestly can't remember what he said to me that night...
While at a Baptist College in Kansas, one of the profs hit on me several times and I ignored him and eventually told him I was going to the Dean of the college if he didn't stop. He made me feel dirty. He stopped and moved on to other girls... I never said a thing, I should have. I wished now I had.. I wonder how many girls/women he abused.
My mother never talked about it to me and I don't remember ever talking about that with my own daughter, and now I wish I had.
Why didn't we do something way back in the olden days to stop it?
I am so glad that the women are talking, and a lot of men will feel their pain... I'm hoping our government is not going to let the bad boys continue in the government... That might be one way to get rid of the idiot president too....
I hope all mothers today ( and Dads ) will talk to their children (boys and girls) and make it clear what is healthy and what is not normal.
And urge them to tell everyone and not keep secrets.
The photo is mine taken in Kingston, Ontario
20 people like this
18 responses
@Morleyhunt (21737)
• Canada
30 Nov 17
An informal survey of women I know...9 out of 10 have been harrassed or molested. Few have reported it. I'm glad its in the open but also see those who take it to extremes eg. the kindergarden boy explelled for hugging a girl....a teacher charged fir comforting a student...again with a hug.
its a volatile subject.
7 people like this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
1 Dec 17
@Morleyhunt I find the hugging in school for all the right reasons should be there, I have no idea how it can continue unless its done only with another teacher/councilor as witness. I hope it stays open...
2 people like this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
1 Dec 17
@JudyEv that is sad. My mother when she started teaching after we kids were in school she taught at a school where the parents were broke on strike, and the jobs gone and the kids were suffering, My mother brought shampoo, and clean clothes and took care of the kids that needed help, she contacted the parents before doing it and had permission...but that was back in the 1950's... I don't imagine it could happen today.
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (116860)
• Anniston, Alabama
30 Nov 17
Men should speak up about other men and women.
5 people like this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
1 Dec 17
I agree with @andriaperry, men should speak up too @amadeo
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
1 Dec 17
We are sorry to hear that you were sexually harassed. There are many women (all over the world) who are sexually harassed but many of them do not come forward to tell about their harassment out of fear and society pressure.
3 people like this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
1 Dec 17
I'm hoping the movement in the US that is going on daily now, will help put it in everyone face and let the women who have been abused to speak up and ruining the men who think its ok and fun.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
4 Dec 17
@PainsOnSlate Yes, let us hope the moment would bring some positive results.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (458176)
• Switzerland
30 Nov 17
Yes, I have been sexually harassed several times, the most disgusting has been an old man who did little works in the apartments building where we lived. He put his dirty hands on me a day I had to get something in our cellar. I told nothing to my parents, but never wanted to go down in the cellar again. That, unfortunately, was not the only time I had been harassed.
5 people like this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
7 Dec 17
I wish now that I talked to my kids more about abuse and the need to tell their parents. I was glad I told my parents about the neighbor I babysat for....they sold their house and left, I have no idea if it was the creepy father that caused that but I was happy when they were gone...
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (458176)
• Switzerland
7 Dec 17
@PainsOnSlate It is important to tell children always to report anything they feel wrong and disturbing. It was different in the past, parents must always support their kids.
2 people like this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
10 Dec 17
@LadyDuck I agree, Its very important and I think that "news" is showing up more and more.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
30 Nov 17
Yes I think that it is a good thing that it is no longer swept under the carpet. It went on but people just never said anything about it. Nothing was ever done to stop it. I was also a victim but I never told my parents. I felt shame and now I know that it wasn't my fault but back then I felt that it was. It has an impact on you the rest of your life.
4 people like this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
1 Dec 17
I'm sorry that happened to you, I guess by talking with my parents made it easier to stand up for myself for the rest of my life. I hope parents will talk to their kids more than they did back in my childhood, and let them what is normal and what is wrong.
2 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
1 Dec 17
@PainsOnSlate I think they do now because it is more in the open and children talk more with their parent about things like that. I think it is a good thing. I would not want any child or person to go through that and feel alone or like they are to blame. It hppens far too often. I know in my city alone there has been many cases in the courts over the oast few years.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
2 Dec 17
@PainsOnSlate no it should never ever happen.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
1 Dec 17
I am sorry to hear that it happened too many times.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
1 Dec 17
@Kandae11 I am hoping what is happening in Washington, and California, and New York will stop abuse or at least shine a light on it and get people talking and moving to stop it everywhere. Is it being talked about in your country or is it still an ugly secret? I'm sorry it happened to you.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53679)
•
1 Dec 17
@dpk262006 Thanks - there wasn't much that I could have done about it.
2 people like this
@popciclecold (35103)
• United States
5 Jun 18
Times have changed so much, as you said the olden days, they didn't talk about it. I am glad for the me too movement.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
16 Jan 18
That is the truth and many years later some of the men are getting what they earned by being idiots.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
30 Nov 17
Yes I have, and it's gone further than harassment..
I was about to say that it hadn't happened in years, but then I remembered that wasn't true.. It happened a few years back when I worked an overnight job at a gas station, drunks would come in and say nasty things. I didn't stay at that job long.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28717)
• United States
6 Dec 17
@PainsOnSlate OMG my husband freaked out every time I came home and told him what happened. He was getting ready to come sit at work with me all night and be my security guard, LOL. I don't think they should have left a woman alone there overnight.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
5 Dec 17
I'm glad you quit the job. I think the older we get the less we will see it, but its amazing how much is going on everywhere.
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
7 Dec 17
@katsmeow1213 did you see the Times this week? I am in awe of all the women who talked and hope a lot more will now and in the future.
The voices that launched the movement against sexual harassment
@bluesa (15023)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
2 Dec 17
Yes, a friend that lived in the same gated community, tried something with me, I was 12, he was 17 years old at the time, but I knew what was acceptable and not acceptable and I got away. That night the police went to visit him and his parents. Soon after that they moved.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15023)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
6 Dec 17
@PainsOnSlate I hope he did too, but I wonder if he just continued to hunt other girls, he was really messed up, but he hid it well, behind good looks and butter wouldn't melt in his mouth persona. Thanks, I am also happy I got away.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
2 Dec 17
I love a happy ending, I hope that boy got an education on what is right and what is wrong. So glad you ran away.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
5 Dec 17
I'm glad things are changing and women (and men) are speaking about it and bringing it to the news...
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (325808)
• Rockingham, Australia
5 Dec 17
@PainsOnSlate Yes, it is for the best. The pendulum always seems to have to swing so far back and forth. It can never settle in the middle.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (29823)
• Momence, Illinois
30 Nov 17
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Only once was I sexually harassed. I was working and dating my hubby at the time. I had to work with one of his friends, a guy I thought was my friend as well. He said some horrible things to me that day, I was alone with him for 8 hours. I didn't tell my hubby at the time as this was his friend and I knew my hubby liked him. But after that day when my hubby would say lets go to his house I would always decline, and tell him you go I'm going home,. For about a year this went on until finally my hubby sat me down and told me I had to tell him what was going on with this particular friend. I told him and that was it, my hubby was furious, he went and told his friend off and never again did I or my hubby spend another day with him.
3 people like this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
2 Jun 18
I didn't see this until now, I was looking at my old photos to see if I have already written about something I want to talk about. I'm so glad you told your husband, I hope i tell mine every time there was an event...but at my age I don't think anyone is going to hit on me...now
@YrNemo (20261)
•
30 Nov 17
I was groped by a younger boy. He ran away so fast and the attack was sudden, or he would have his ears ringing I swear! Other times, they were just verbal, extremely dirty by a man 2 decades older than me. I know he wouldn't dare do anything since I know his wife and children well by sight.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
4 Dec 17
You have to wonder why men do that, I think that younger boy probably grew up to be awful... Growing up after that babysitter I never stayed quiet when men said nasty things.. Once married all that crap stopped except once and we were moving so I didn't tell the creeps wife because she was a friend of mine, a few years later I visited and found out she divorced him so I guess she knew anyway.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
6 Dec 17
@YrNemo He creeped me out, we were spending our last day in the town in our friends house after the movers came, I was pregnent and he suggested....I wanted to throw up...
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (20261)
•
5 Dec 17
@PainsOnSlate 'Ew' situation! (re: being harassed by a friend's husband!)
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
5 Dec 17
I'm loving the news, seeing the bad boys fall.
1 person likes this
@Ganma7 (3664)
•
5 Dec 17
@PainsOnSlate it is about time there are consequences for their actions
1 person likes this
@PatZAnthony (14752)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
8 Dec 17
Yes, several times over the years. It has also happened to men in our family and our group of friends.
It should never be tolerated.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
9 Dec 17
Its makes me happy every day I see on the news someone else is telling their story.
@Fleura (29128)
• United Kingdom
30 Nov 17
The thing is, as you say we should 'make it clear what is healthy and what is not normal.' But until recently this sort of behaviour was regarded as normal, it was just the sort of thing that women had to put up with and their mothers did warn them about it often but there wasn't anyone you could go to to complain, it was just a normal part of life!
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
30 Nov 17
You are right, we all had to deal with this because men will be men, I love it is in the front line now so maybe , just maybe the end of thier creepy attitudes and demands will stop.
1 person likes this
@andriaperry (116860)
• Anniston, Alabama
30 Nov 17
Yes I have and usually I just quit the job and found another. Once sticks out because I grew up with this guy but I told him off and that was that and I could work there without any further problems.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
4 Dec 17
As an adult I did let the nasty men know I would not put up with thier stupidity and it worked. I don't remember as an adult being hit on at the work place, when I was in college and worked in a golf club it was a daily thing, but the staff was very helpful and actully walked me to my car at the end of the night.
1 person likes this
@tzwrites (4835)
• Romania
1 Dec 17
Yes, I have also been sexually harassed. Nothing very serious but I have had men touch me as I was walking home. I told people about creepy things but usually it was only my parents who were outraged. I think part of the problem is that we overthink things. We somehow find excuses for the abusers or try to justify situations. We should just speak up loud and clear.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
5 Dec 17
I agree, it is usually hidden and it should be out in the air and it won't stop until it is.
