Have You Been Sexually Harassed

Canada
November 30, 2017 9:51am CST
While reading the paper and watching the news seeing more and more women coming out and telling their history with men who disrespect women, I thought of my youth. Back in the olden days people didn't talk about it and its about time to do so. When I was around 14 or 15 I was babysitting a neighbor who walked me home after he and his wife got home . I had been sitting for them for a long time, and one night on our walk he hit on me (verbally- he never touched me) and it scared the daylights out of me, I ran away from him, I told my parents and never babysat for them again. I think my Dad had a conversation with the creep. I honestly can't remember what he said to me that night... While at a Baptist College in Kansas, one of the profs hit on me several times and I ignored him and eventually told him I was going to the Dean of the college if he didn't stop. He made me feel dirty. He stopped and moved on to other girls... I never said a thing, I should have. I wished now I had.. I wonder how many girls/women he abused. My mother never talked about it to me and I don't remember ever talking about that with my own daughter, and now I wish I had. Why didn't we do something way back in the olden days to stop it? I am so glad that the women are talking, and a lot of men will feel their pain... I'm hoping our government is not going to let the bad boys continue in the government... That might be one way to get rid of the idiot president too.... I hope all mothers today ( and Dads ) will talk to their children (boys and girls) and make it clear what is healthy and what is not normal. And urge them to tell everyone and not keep secrets. The photo is mine taken in Kingston, Ontario
20 people like this
18 responses
@Morleyhunt (16688)
• Canada
30 Nov
An informal survey of women I know...9 out of 10 have been harrassed or molested. Few have reported it. I'm glad its in the open but also see those who take it to extremes eg. the kindergarden boy explelled for hugging a girl....a teacher charged fir comforting a student...again with a hug. its a volatile subject.
9 people like this
@JudyEv (101028)
• Bunbury, Australia
1 Dec
It seems the pendulum always swings too far one way or the other. My husband loves all kids but he rarely hugs any these days - and that I find really sad.
3 people like this
• Canada
1 Dec
@Morleyhunt I find the hugging in school for all the right reasons should be there, I have no idea how it can continue unless its done only with another teacher/councilor as witness. I hope it stays open...
3 people like this
• Canada
1 Dec
@JudyEv that is sad. My mother when she started teaching after we kids were in school she taught at a school where the parents were broke on strike, and the jobs gone and the kids were suffering, My mother brought shampoo, and clean clothes and took care of the kids that needed help, she contacted the parents before doing it and had permission...but that was back in the 1950's... I don't imagine it could happen today.
2 people like this
@amadeo (48017)
• United States
30 Nov
Sorry to hear that.Me never.But I know there is a lot of men has.But will not come out.
9 people like this
@andriaperry (33174)
• Anniston, Alabama
30 Nov
Men should speak up about other men and women.
7 people like this
@amadeo (48017)
• United States
30 Nov
@andriaperry time will tell on this
4 people like this
• Canada
1 Dec
I agree with @andriaperry, men should speak up too @amadeo
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (122007)
• Switzerland
30 Nov
Yes, I have been sexually harassed several times, the most disgusting has been an old man who did little works in the apartments building where we lived. He put his dirty hands on me a day I had to get something in our cellar. I told nothing to my parents, but never wanted to go down in the cellar again. That, unfortunately, was not the only time I had been harassed.
6 people like this
• Canada
7 Dec
I wish now that I talked to my kids more about abuse and the need to tell their parents. I was glad I told my parents about the neighbor I babysat for....they sold their house and left, I have no idea if it was the creepy father that caused that but I was happy when they were gone...
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (122007)
• Switzerland
7 Dec
@PainsOnSlate It is important to tell children always to report anything they feel wrong and disturbing. It was different in the past, parents must always support their kids.
2 people like this
• Canada
10 Dec
@LadyDuck I agree, Its very important and I think that "news" is showing up more and more.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (27038)
30 Nov
Unfortunately - too many times.
6 people like this
@dpk262006 (54770)
• Delhi, India
1 Dec
I am sorry to hear that it happened too many times.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (27038)
1 Dec
@dpk262006 Thanks - there wasn't much that I could have done about it.
3 people like this
• Canada
1 Dec
@Kandae11 I am hoping what is happening in Washington, and California, and New York will stop abuse or at least shine a light on it and get people talking and moving to stop it everywhere. Is it being talked about in your country or is it still an ugly secret? I'm sorry it happened to you.
2 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (70207)
• Canada
30 Nov
Yes I think that it is a good thing that it is no longer swept under the carpet. It went on but people just never said anything about it. Nothing was ever done to stop it. I was also a victim but I never told my parents. I felt shame and now I know that it wasn't my fault but back then I felt that it was. It has an impact on you the rest of your life.
6 people like this
• Canada
1 Dec
I'm sorry that happened to you, I guess by talking with my parents made it easier to stand up for myself for the rest of my life. I hope parents will talk to their kids more than they did back in my childhood, and let them what is normal and what is wrong.
3 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (70207)
• Canada
1 Dec
@PainsOnSlate I think they do now because it is more in the open and children talk more with their parent about things like that. I think it is a good thing. I would not want any child or person to go through that and feel alone or like they are to blame. It hppens far too often. I know in my city alone there has been many cases in the courts over the oast few years.
2 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (70207)
• Canada
2 Dec
@PainsOnSlate no it should never ever happen.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (54770)
• Delhi, India
1 Dec
We are sorry to hear that you were sexually harassed. There are many women (all over the world) who are sexually harassed but many of them do not come forward to tell about their harassment out of fear and society pressure.
4 people like this
• Canada
1 Dec
I'm hoping the movement in the US that is going on daily now, will help put it in everyone face and let the women who have been abused to speak up and ruining the men who think its ok and fun.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (54770)
• Delhi, India
4 Dec
@PainsOnSlate Yes, let us hope the moment would bring some positive results.
2 people like this
@fishtiger58 (30737)
• Momence, Illinois
30 Nov
I'm sorry you had to go through that. Only once was I sexually harassed. I was working and dating my hubby at the time. I had to work with one of his friends, a guy I thought was my friend as well. He said some horrible things to me that day, I was alone with him for 8 hours. I didn't tell my hubby at the time as this was his friend and I knew my hubby liked him. But after that day when my hubby would say lets go to his house I would always decline, and tell him you go I'm going home,. For about a year this went on until finally my hubby sat me down and told me I had to tell him what was going on with this particular friend. I told him and that was it, my hubby was furious, he went and told his friend off and never again did I or my hubby spend another day with him.
3 people like this
@YrNemo (8593)
30 Nov
I was groped by a younger boy. He ran away so fast and the attack was sudden, or he would have his ears ringing I swear! Other times, they were just verbal, extremely dirty by a man 2 decades older than me. I know he wouldn't dare do anything since I know his wife and children well by sight.
2 people like this
• Canada
4 Dec
You have to wonder why men do that, I think that younger boy probably grew up to be awful... Growing up after that babysitter I never stayed quiet when men said nasty things.. Once married all that crap stopped except once and we were moving so I didn't tell the creeps wife because she was a friend of mine, a few years later I visited and found out she divorced him so I guess she knew anyway.
2 people like this
@YrNemo (8593)
5 Dec
@PainsOnSlate 'Ew' situation! (re: being harassed by a friend's husband!)
2 people like this
• Canada
6 Dec
@YrNemo He creeped me out, we were spending our last day in the town in our friends house after the movers came, I was pregnent and he suggested....I wanted to throw up...
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28927)
• United States
30 Nov
Yes I have, and it's gone further than harassment.. I was about to say that it hadn't happened in years, but then I remembered that wasn't true.. It happened a few years back when I worked an overnight job at a gas station, drunks would come in and say nasty things. I didn't stay at that job long.
2 people like this
• Canada
5 Dec
I'm glad you quit the job. I think the older we get the less we will see it, but its amazing how much is going on everywhere.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Dec
@PainsOnSlate OMG my husband freaked out every time I came home and told him what happened. He was getting ready to come sit at work with me all night and be my security guard, LOL. I don't think they should have left a woman alone there overnight.
1 person likes this
• Canada
7 Dec
@katsmeow1213 did you see the Times this week? I am in awe of all the women who talked and hope a lot more will now and in the future.
The voices that launched the movement against sexual harassment
@Ganma7 (2043)
1 Dec
Sorry to hear this. Good article and an important issue
2 people like this
• Canada
5 Dec
I'm loving the news, seeing the bad boys fall.
2 people like this
@Ganma7 (2043)
5 Dec
@PainsOnSlate it is about time there are consequences for their actions
2 people like this
• Canada
6 Dec
@Ganma7 I agree.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (12851)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
2 Dec
Yes, a friend that lived in the same gated community, tried something with me, I was 12, he was 17 years old at the time, but I knew what was acceptable and not acceptable and I got away. That night the police went to visit him and his parents. Soon after that they moved.
2 people like this
• Canada
2 Dec
I love a happy ending, I hope that boy got an education on what is right and what is wrong. So glad you ran away.
2 people like this
@bluesa (12851)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
6 Dec
@PainsOnSlate I hope he did too, but I wonder if he just continued to hunt other girls, he was really messed up, but he hid it well, behind good looks and butter wouldn't melt in his mouth persona. Thanks, I am also happy I got away.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (101028)
• Bunbury, Australia
1 Dec
It was never talked about in our days. I was never given any instruction or guidance and I would have never been able to talk about anything like you experienced. I still knew what was right and wrong but it wasn't talked about.
2 people like this
• Canada
5 Dec
I'm glad things are changing and women (and men) are speaking about it and bringing it to the news...
2 people like this
@JudyEv (101028)
• Bunbury, Australia
5 Dec
@PainsOnSlate Yes, it is for the best. The pendulum always seems to have to swing so far back and forth. It can never settle in the middle.
2 people like this
@tzwrites (3812)
• Romania
1 Dec
Yes, I have also been sexually harassed. Nothing very serious but I have had men touch me as I was walking home. I told people about creepy things but usually it was only my parents who were outraged. I think part of the problem is that we overthink things. We somehow find excuses for the abusers or try to justify situations. We should just speak up loud and clear.
2 people like this
• Canada
5 Dec
I agree, it is usually hidden and it should be out in the air and it won't stop until it is.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (6219)
• United Kingdom
30 Nov
The thing is, as you say we should 'make it clear what is healthy and what is not normal.' But until recently this sort of behaviour was regarded as normal, it was just the sort of thing that women had to put up with and their mothers did warn them about it often but there wasn't anyone you could go to to complain, it was just a normal part of life!
2 people like this
• Canada
30 Nov
You are right, we all had to deal with this because men will be men, I love it is in the front line now so maybe , just maybe the end of thier creepy attitudes and demands will stop.
2 people like this
@andriaperry (33174)
• Anniston, Alabama
30 Nov
Yes I have and usually I just quit the job and found another. Once sticks out because I grew up with this guy but I told him off and that was that and I could work there without any further problems.
2 people like this
• Canada
4 Dec
As an adult I did let the nasty men know I would not put up with thier stupidity and it worked. I don't remember as an adult being hit on at the work place, when I was in college and worked in a golf club it was a daily thing, but the staff was very helpful and actully walked me to my car at the end of the night.
2 people like this
• Philippines
1 Dec
hello. i thought its only happening here(*philippines) many also have the same , even me is a victim. i've been sexually abused many times thru starring and constant looking from random guys outside. it makes me an introvert now, sometimes to make it fair i gave them a nod or a rolling eyes to revenge back what they done to me. many here cases of rape everyday, sometimes stranger guys from a jeepney, taxi touching the girls beside them. i was once challenged by a neighbour guy from the apartment i'm renting before because i didn't lended my key to her wife , shouted at me outside and wants me to fight him. I cant go out because if i risk my life fighting him, no one will look after my child. they belong to an influential religion and some people told me to not file a case to them anymore because its risky. all i did is shouted at him how rude he is. how many times i will encounter this? i think its the parents fault for having a child like that that grows into a bad adult. last time, i reported to the police a guy at the car station catcalled me while walking, so a group of police guys came and warned him . i think speaking up is better if done in a proper way.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Dec
yes i've been sexually abused many times thru eye/body movements
1 person likes this
• Canada
4 Dec
I am so sorry that has happened to you and I think speaking up and being loud and in their face will stop it some times, sadly not every time. In the US right now, women are talking to the news about our government men and even more about the men in Hollywood who took took advantage of them as children (in the movies) and older with the political bad boys. It makes me happy seeing most of the men admitting it and being sorry for it. Hopefully it will continue to be talked about and maybe it will stop.
1 person likes this
• Canada
4 Dec
@Strawberry18 I'm sorry that happens, even verbally is not acceptable.
1 person likes this
@PatZAnthony (11805)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
8 Dec
Yes, several times over the years. It has also happened to men in our family and our group of friends. It should never be tolerated.
1 person likes this
• Canada
9 Dec
Its makes me happy every day I see on the news someone else is telling their story.
@Corbin5 (81688)
• United States
30 Nov
I have never been sexually harassed. Just whistled at by construction guys and having them say something when I walked by in my younger days. In college, I worked in a restaurant, and men would just say, "Great legs" to me all the time.
1 person likes this