God To Me

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As a Christian, naturally I believe there is one God-Jehovah, Yahweh, Adonai. I believe in the Trinity (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit). Only my Savior could have fulfilled the many roles I have needed over the years. Like most humans, I have experience pain, joy, sadness, depression, inspiration, peace, and a plethora of other emotions. Honestly, though, I have not always felt God's presence. Often that is because of my own distancing through sin or loyalty to humans over God or seeking my own agenda. Sometimes I try to help God out when He calls me to a task instead of waiting on His leadership. Whatever the circumstance, whatever my emotional state, I can rest assured that God is with me through it all. I told a friend, the other day, that 2017 was one of the worst years of my life. I have never felt so broken. I faithfully stood for God, worshiped Him only, tried to be obedient, yet at times it seemed He had abandoned me. I decided to go on a quest to find out exactly who He is and who I am to Him. Instead of throwing God away or abandoning my faith, I decided I was gonna hunt for Him until I found Him. I think that is what He wanted me to do. I am beginning to understand Him and know Him better. I realized it is easy to get caught up in the idea of God that our spiritual leaders present. We are comfortable with that and don't seek Him personally. Last year broke me. Then on Jan. 2 when my dad passed away, that was it. I thought the only reason I can keep going is for my kids and grandkids. But through that pain God revealed himself, and I pray that I become, every day, more of who He wants me to be. This song by Colton Dixon sums it up for me. If you have never heard it, go listen to it. It is uplifting and inspiring. It brings me comfort, peace, and joy. " I have won and I have lost I got it right sometimes But sometimes I did not Life's been a journey I've seen joy, I've seen regret Oh and You have been my God Through all of it" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0Dzh3RZn0E