Why do we often think nasty thoughts whilst we are out and about in everyday life?
@innertalks (21087)
Australia
April 4, 2018 1:18am CST
Why is it that when I am out and about I abuse other people in my head, saying about a driver who is driving badly,
"What an idiot."
When queuing in a long queue in the bank,
"This stupid bank. Why don't they employ more tellers?"
When a shopkeeper makes a mistake in charging me,
"What a horrible cheating idiot",
I call them in my mind.
I suppose that we must remember that the mind is mostly of the devil's input, as thoughts from him are picked up as ours, and when we live from them, we sin, but when loving thoughts are sent from our heart, and picked up from our mind, and lived from instead, we then make good karma, in one sense, but in the greater sense, we live closer to God by our doing this, in that we serve God as much as we live from his love.
Our thoughts bring to us whatever our mind is like. Our thoughts are coming to us from whatever is dominating our mind.
Our thoughts are pigeon holes filled with bits from our mind that when plugged into our mouth speak for us, but even when not plugged in, they are often still being thought, because our mind has given rise to them, because of its overriding attitude, belief system, or the state of its balance, between negative and positiveness.
Thoughts reveal to us our inner mind then.
If we can trace back our thoughts to what is making them arise from our minds, this might help us to think better thoughts.
As we grow into our higher self, our mind will change then, and so our thoughts will become more loving then too.
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10 responses
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
4 Apr 18
I am thankful that I think such thoughts, actually. That means that I am free to think what I wish with no censorship. Otherwise, how would I learn?! I have often thought ill of people who I knew nothing about--that person who cut in front of me almost causing me to crash into her, the mother of my ex-daughter in law who denied a home to the 5 year old child of her daughter's boyfriend..but I have learned that unfiltered thinking can lead to enlightenment. Maybe that person had a passenger whose appendix was about to burst or there was a family emergency. Maybe my DIL's mom was desperate to break up her daughter and the boyfriend who was ruining the daughter's life, a last ditch effort.
We think these thoughts because we learn from them. If we can get past the raw emotion of anger or frustration, we can always learn a lesson. If we were not permitted to think these things we would remain emotionally and intellectually stagnant.
3 people like this
@innertalks (21087)
• Australia
4 Apr 18
Thanks, that's an interesting perspective.
From my own life though, I have been saying these types of thoughts, repeating patterned thoughts, reactively for many, many years.
I have not learnt any lessons from my doing so. (that is any that I can see that I have benefited from, or leant from)
Sure, a lesson, might be possible, as like you, I too believe, that every experience has a learning possibility embedded in it somewhere for us too.
I was just frustrated, that I still remain, more or less, the same person, reacting with the same thoughts, in such a negative way, for such a long, extended period of time. (And, in a lot of cases, I reckon, that I have gotten worse, and grown more impatient, over the years. I am certainly avoiding the learning if it is indeed there for me...LOL...)
2 people like this
@innertalks (21087)
• Australia
4 Apr 18
@Shiva49 That's nicely put siva, and I also try to understand what you are saying, and it sounds plausibly very real and true, but as the Devil's advocate, I will throw up a few questions, re this approach to life.
“Wisdom tells me I am nothing. Love tells me I am everything. And between the two my life flows.”
That great Indian spiritual guru, Nisargadatta Maharaj (1897 to 1981) said this.
Why do we need to better ourselves then?
Does God need to better himself too?
Why do we need to do this, do we need to do it?
What are we bettering? Our outer self, or our inner core?
Are the changes then cosmetic, or real?
Life to me is about change in some respects, but in other respects, it is about the non-changing energy of unconditionally love, shining on all unendingly, unchangeably, and between these two extremes each must live their own life, choosing a place to hang out on, so to speak.
What happens, happens.
We are a part of it all, but we do need to find which part we are, and so to do this we must change our position from time to time to see if we are a square peg in a round hole, or vice versa...LOL...
2 people like this
@Shiva49 (26231)
• Singapore
4 Apr 18
@innertalks I understand where you are coming from Steve.
For a long time, I have taken a stand I should not be influenced by others negativity but always learn from positive behavior. That keeps my senses alert to spot the beauty in others while forgetting nastiness in society.
Life is a continuous journey to better myself as I find there are many teachers around; some teach us how not to be like them! siva
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@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
4 Apr 18
Thank you for that reminder, Steve. It is always to think of ill thoughts about others and hard to see the beauty of others. My dad always remind me that what you think will become your thought, your thoughts will become your words, your words will become your actions. 
3 people like this
@innertalks (21087)
• Australia
4 Apr 18
Yes, thanks. I agree with what your Dad said there. 
And once that happens, we have developed a habit then too.
Someone passes us as we drive to church on a Sunday morning, and we find ourselves, saying once more again,
"That idiotic moron, nearly caused me to run off the road. He doesn't deserve to have a license."
It has become then now such an ingrained reactive response, that we might come out with it then, even if the Pope was sitting in our car sitting next to us there then too, for example.
And once that happens, we have developed a habit then too.
Someone passes us as we drive to church on a Sunday morning, and we find ourselves, saying once more again,
"That idiotic moron, nearly caused me to run off the road. He doesn't deserve to have a license."
It has become then now such an ingrained reactive response, that we might come out with it then, even if the Pope was sitting in our car sitting next to us there then too, for example.2 people like this
@mlgen1037 (29886)
• Manila, Philippines
4 Apr 18
@innertalks thank you, Steve. I hope I really do take to heart what he told me. But yes, it is usually our reaction to something that we might not agree to. It is innate I guess. But regardless, we always have control of our thoughts so we should always be alert when we are about to think bad or ill of others.
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@innertalks (21087)
• Australia
4 Apr 18
@mlgen1037 I am not sure if we have control over all of the thoughts that arise in us, as who knows where they are really coming from. But, I would agree with you there, that we would always have control over what we do with those thoughts, and if we act on them, or follow through with them, or not.(We could call that our attitude to our thoughts I suppose).
Sometimes, I think that thoughts arise in reaction to other stimulus's, like a splinter coming off a log that has been hit by something, but then it is up to us if we use the splinter for good, or for bad. That is one way to look at what thoughts are.
2 people like this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
4 Apr 18
Since they are your thoughts, nothing will harm to you. Just think if you split up those words to them in reality, then it will turn like hell. I think, human beings are very quick on such thoughts, and those who are not letting out their thoughts are lucky enough.
3 people like this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
4 Apr 18
@innertalks I meant, not harming you, you won't be in trouble with others like a fight since it is your thoughts alone. I agree our thoughts may harm us, if they are negative. I will clear, if you feel some one did a stupid action, you may call him/her 'stupid' in your mind, but if you tell the same to that person, then we can't guess how the person react to you. I hope now it is clear .
2 people like this
@innertalks (21087)
• Australia
4 Apr 18
In many ways, I agree with you.
It is us that give any power to our own thoughts, and yet there remains the idea that we have many unconscious thoughts, beliefs, ways of thinking, hidden deep within us, somewhere too.
Perhaps, these are controlling us in some way, without us even really being totally aware of what they are doing to us.
Even now, doctors are telling us that if we have positive thoughts, when we have a disease such as cancer, this has been shown to help us in our fight against the invading cancer. Negative thoughts prevent us from recovering so well, they tell us.
If this is true, our kinds of thoughts could harm us sometimes.
It is us that give any power to our own thoughts, and yet there remains the idea that we have many unconscious thoughts, beliefs, ways of thinking, hidden deep within us, somewhere too.
Perhaps, these are controlling us in some way, without us even really being totally aware of what they are doing to us.
Even now, doctors are telling us that if we have positive thoughts, when we have a disease such as cancer, this has been shown to help us in our fight against the invading cancer. Negative thoughts prevent us from recovering so well, they tell us.
If this is true, our kinds of thoughts could harm us sometimes.2 people like this
@Shiva49 (26231)
• Singapore
4 Apr 18
I think that is an entitlement mentality we get carried away with.
We think we deserve better.
I calm myself with a take everything happens for a purpose and I will also behave the same way in similar circumstances.
We should set honorable goals and then make them a habit so that we do not stray falling prey to fickle behavior.
I accept a lot of idiosyncratic behavior from others as that shows the basic human trait.
As for me, it is more of setting an example, shining the light when there is darkness and being grateful for the opportunity given to contribute.
In sum, such thoughts remain fleeting before they are shooed away by forgiveness and acceptance - siva
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@innertalks (21087)
• Australia
4 Apr 18
To me happening for a purpose is different than happening for a reason.
A man then acts mean and cruelly to me because of the reason that he has these traits in him, and needs to work to change them, because, at some stage, he has ignored, or not learned from the lessons of love sent to him for him to learn from.
The purpose behind this is not so obvious. There is God's overall purpose in that he wants all of us to grow in wisdom and understanding of God's truths, and so apply them better in our lives, but as to an individual purpose, as to why that Guy's bad behaviour has to affect me personally, I think that might connect more to something karmically controlled, rather than purpose driven.
@innertalks (21087)
• Australia
5 Apr 18
@Shiva49 Bill Gates, had to close his gate for a while then...LOL....
Yes, even the richest man has to breathe the same air as the rest of us, and fundamentally, he is not that much different from the poorest man.
That's true, our direction can be changed by someone opening a gate for us to go through, even if that person, is Bill Gates!!
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@Shiva49 (26231)
• Singapore
5 Apr 18
@innertalks I console myself in trying situations of abusive behavior "It takes all types to make a world".
Agreed the reason for them happening to us out of the blue is tough to decipher.
Who we meet matters. If we meet a helpful person he can even change our destiny but at the other extreme another can do the same too. However, I being who I am, will shrug off the experience as not my problem.
I think all such drive home the point of extreme behavior traits that none can really avoid, so we are in the same boat. I recall once Bill Gates was having a meal at a restaurant and he tends to talk aloud. Another at a nearby table told him to lower his voice so that he was not disturbed and obviously the richest man had to mind others around him. In this case, only a fine line divides between purpose and reason - siva
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@innertalks (21087)
• Australia
4 Apr 18
Yes, it is just the way life works, but I try to understand why life works like that, or what can be done to improve my own reacting to that life, instead of me just going along for the ride, and reacting like everyone else.
Am I just a pawn being pushed by someone else on the chessboard of life, or can I reach the other end and be promoted into something else?
These types of questions intrigue me.
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@innertalks (21087)
• Australia
12 Apr 18
@aureliah Yes, the way that our lives pan out, is mostly based on how we react to what happens to us and around us, as well as to our attitude that we have, or have developed to live our lives with, or under.
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@aureliah (24321)
• Kenya
12 Apr 18
@innertalks I believe that we can all work on how we react to different situations. It would give us much peace knowing how to deal with them
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@anikoonline (3250)
• Hungary
5 Apr 18
I try to convert my thoughts to a nicer form. Like instead of 'What an idiot', I say 'Why are you doing this, darling?' or 'Are you feeling better now?' to the mad drivers. I think I get less stressed with these sentences.
2 people like this
@innertalks (21087)
• Australia
5 Apr 18
That's very true I think too. Even the tone and manner that we speak and think things has an effect on us, and on others too.
This is one reason why I do not swear. I think that words carry power to both hurt and to heal. It is far better to use healing words, as you are doing there.
I will try your approach next time that some driver cuts me off.
Instead of, "What an idiot?" I might change what I say to, "Have a good day, my friend."realising that it might be his bad day, that has made him cut corners like that.
2 people like this
@innertalks (21087)
• Australia
5 Apr 18
@anikoonline Thanks, and what we give out comes back to us too, I think.
I can also feel it sometimes, when somebody says something bad about me, when he overtakes me in his car.
(Even if I can't hear him saying it, I still seem to feel the negative vibrations going through me, giving me the feeling of a cold chill sometimes, or of a hot collar, at other times)
In this case. I guess that I can say to myself, "Well, that's only his opinion. It's not who I really am."
and what we give out comes back to us too, I think.
I can also feel it sometimes, when somebody says something bad about me, when he overtakes me in his car.
(Even if I can't hear him saying it, I still seem to feel the negative vibrations going through me, giving me the feeling of a cold chill sometimes, or of a hot collar, at other times)
In this case. I guess that I can say to myself, "Well, that's only his opinion. It's not who I really am."2 people like this
@anikoonline (3250)
• Hungary
5 Apr 18
@innertalks I also try to not swear, but sometimes it happens to me. It took me time to be able to say nice sentences to mad drivers, but now I am more or less good at this.
And yes, everything we say has an effect on us.
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@innertalks (21087)
• Australia
30 May 18
Yes, the negative thoughts seem to rise to the surface of our minds easily.
We should do our best not to own them, but to weed them out, and to replace them with positive thoughts instead.
Becoming more tolerant, and understanding of others can help us in our doing of this too, I think.
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@Hannihar (129604)
• Israel
14 Jun 18
@innertalks
When I am out on my scooter I encounter lots of stupid people just looking down on their stupid cell phones or a group of people taking up the whole side walk even after they see me behind them and want to get around them but they will never move.
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@innertalks (21087)
• Australia
14 Jun 18
Yes, it's a "me" first selfish type of attitude that most people seem to live from these days, unfortunately, not caring about anyone else, except themselves.
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@innertalks (21087)
• Australia
15 Jun 18
@Hannihar Yes, it's sad that a "thank-you" is so rare these days, that it causes us a surprise to hear it.
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@Hannihar (129604)
• Israel
15 Jun 18
@innertalks
I am very surprised and caught off guard when there is one person that thanks me for letting them go by. Now, I have a saying I use when people to not thank me for letting them go before me I say thank you. They still do not answer but I did something. I used to say your welcome but now I say thank you. When someone does thank me I am caught off guard and at times I tell them your welcome.
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@innertalks (21087)
• Australia
30 Jul 18
Yes, it's great if we can do that, and recognise early when it is starting to happen, so that we can nip the negative talk, at its bud, so to speak.
@porwest (78759)
• United States
27 Apr 18
We are human. And that, I think, for good or for bad, is human nature. Besides, some people ARE idiots on the road, sometimes they AREN'T enough tellers, and sometimes shop keepers ARE crooks...so sometimes it is not being mean. It is being honest.
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@innertalks (21087)
• Australia
28 Apr 18
Yes, I would say you are right at times, but at other times, we should try to catch ourselves when we do this routinely too much, otherwise, it could become a habit for us, and so then we could become too easily critical, and shove some of our empathy, compassion, and understanding out of our heart, with our mind instead, when someone has just made an "honest" mistake, for example..
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