I said no ...

@august18 (1644)
Tunisia
April 14, 2018 1:43pm CST
The most wonderful guy in the world proposed to me last month and I said no. His proposal came as a shock to me because we have been friends for more than 15 years and I always considered him as a brother. Plus he knows well enough that I don't believe in the idea of marriage. That day I told him that we should never speak to each other again because of the way he feels about me. Last night I saw him in my dreams and I haven't stopped thinking about him ever since. I want to call and check on him but my pride keeps holding me back. What should I do ?
12 people like this
20 responses
14 Apr
wow you cut him off just like that? Friends for fifteen years.
4 people like this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
14 Apr
Just put yourself in my shoes and you'll know how I felt back then.
14 Apr
@august18 According to you he is the most wonderful guy in the world.You even mentioned that he has been your best friend for more than 15 years. I am just surprised.
4 people like this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
14 Apr
@Iam_jauntyjen Yes, he's wonderful otherwise I wouldn't be his friends all these years. But he made me regret our friendship the moment he proposed to me. He knows so well how much I hate this crap.
@dragon54u (31604)
• United States
14 Apr
I would call him if I were you. I know it would be tough marrying someone you felt was family but what do you want from a relationship? If you want emotional fireworks, thrills down your spine when you think of him, longing for him when he's away and passion that burns so hot as to nearly engulf you, you can have that. In fact, anyone can but not for long. That is chemistry and it rarely lasts past a year or so then you're left with whatever you felt for them before you became passionate. All too often, that is very little because people think that passion is love. It's not. It's insanity disguised as love. If you want enduring friendship, reliability, loyalty, and all the other things that go with a good relationship, perhaps you are not seeing the what's right in front of you. I'm not advising you to commit yourself to this man, just to examine your own expectations and see if he is offering something you want but you reject because it is missing the torture of temporary physical obsession. After all, you did say he is the most wonderful guy in the world!
3 people like this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
14 Apr
I never thought about him as the man of my dreams and he knows that so well. And yes he was the most wonderful guy in the world otherwise I wouldn't talk to him. Well there's this man I used to love and he's wonderful, too. What I'm saying is that I miss the way things were between us before his silly proposal.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31604)
• United States
14 Apr
@august18 I hope you two can get back to your friendship as it was! Real friends are so rare and it's sad when we lose them. You two should get together and pretend he never said anything, maybe that will set things back to normal after awhile. Good luck!
2 people like this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
15 Apr
@dragon54u Sure I will. Thanks.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (35549)
• Holiday, Florida
14 Apr
oh call. if he cared or still cares that much, you may still find you can't live without each other. just call and ask him how he is
3 people like this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
14 Apr
I don't think I should. At least for now. Thank you for your advice anyway.
1 person likes this
@sharon6345 (118709)
• United States
14 Apr
I think I can completely understand how you feel. I have been friends with someone if not longer than. The reason why I had to put distance between us it's because he cannot stop telling me how he feels about me. I think the best thing for you to do is call him to see that he is okay. That will at least give you the closure that you need to move on. I don't think you and him can be friends anymore after this. But fore closures sake I think you should make that call.
2 people like this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
14 Apr
Thank you for putting yourself in my shoes. It will take sometime for me to recover from this deception before I make that call.
@sharon6345 (118709)
• United States
14 Apr
@august18 that is all you have to do and don't worry about the rest. You never know he might want to hear from you as well. I I told my friend years ago that I would have preferred his friendship over a personal relationship. He could not understand that and no matter how I tried he wouldn't listen. I moved and changed my number.
1 person likes this
@mlgen1037 (16761)
• Manila, Philippines
14 Apr
Aw.... I feel sorry for friend but I admire him for his determination and guts. I wish the best for him He must have loved you for a long time that he took all his guts to propose to you. But of course it would be unfair for him if you said yes to him and you are just forcing yourself to him. In time, he will understand.
2 people like this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
14 Apr
I hope he does. I also hope things go back to the way they used to be before he dares to propose to me.
1 person likes this
@mlgen1037 (16761)
• Manila, Philippines
15 Apr
@august18 Yes. Maybe some time off will at least alleviate the pain.
1 person likes this
@lovebuglena (5548)
• Staten Island, New York
14 Apr
If he has feelings for you and you don't have feelings for him you can remain friends, however, he may not want that if he has feelings for you... And he clearly wants to be more than friends if he proposed to you. But were you in a relationship? Or were you just friends? If you were merely friends it is odd that he proposed...
2 people like this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
15 Apr
We were family... And he knew that I want to stay single and still he proposed.
@iridion9 (6440)
• Philippines
15 Apr
Are you sure you don't have feelings for him?
1 person likes this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
15 Apr
Yes, I am. He's like my brother from another mother.
1 person likes this
@iridion9 (6440)
• Philippines
15 Apr
@august18 Really is he handsome? then why are you worried?
1 person likes this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
15 Apr
@iridion9 He's really handsome. But I want to stay single.
1 person likes this
@kepweng (11531)
16 Apr
do u Date these guy for how lomg?
1 person likes this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
16 Apr
We didn't date. He is neighbour and my best male friend.
@kepweng (11531)
21 Apr
@august18 its Risky to date a neighboor??
1 person likes this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
21 Apr
@kepweng Risky to date at all.
@id_peace (4929)
• Singapore
15 Apr
It is funny that you girls rejected nice guys then when they are taken or when you are lonely, you don't have anyone to be with, you will start to wonder where are all the good guys,
1 person likes this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
15 Apr
I don't believe in the idea of marriage that's why I refused. He knew that very well and still he had the guts to propose.
@id_peace (4929)
• Singapore
15 Apr
but you will be losing him for good even as a friend not as a boyfriend or anything like that
1 person likes this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
15 Apr
@id_peace I'll call him soon but I need some time to pull my self together.
1 person likes this
@NJChicaa (37084)
• United States
14 Apr
Wow. I understand saying no if you weren’t interested but to totally cut him off was cruel. I wouldn’t call him, though, unless you planned a full apology for being heartless and wanted to try to resume your friendship. Otherwise, don’t bother.
1 person likes this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
14 Apr
It wasn't cruel at all. He has known me for 15 years, he should have anticipated my reaction before thinking about his silly proposal. But, I do bother. I just can't let him go like this. He was my best male friend.
@NJChicaa (37084)
• United States
14 Apr
@august18 you asked for opinions. I gave mine.
2 people like this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
14 Apr
@NJChicaa I was very mad I forgot to thank you for your advice. Thank you so much. Sorry for my bad temper.
@Chazzygal (441)
• Botswana
17 Apr
if you cant stop thinking about him then u know you have feelings for him. dnt let pride stand in the way of what could have been your happiness.
1 person likes this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
17 Apr
I can't stop thinking about him. But that's because he's my only friend. I can't give up on him like that
• Botswana
17 Apr
@august18 Then if you value your friendship go ahead and call him.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (47345)
• Philippines
15 Apr
well, he is your friend and i believe friendship is what you only want from him.
1 person likes this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
15 Apr
That's why I'm mad at him. Because he got my friendship the wrong way.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (47345)
• Philippines
16 Apr
@august18 that is truly disgusting. i would also dislike a friend if he shows other intentions than being friends with me
1 person likes this
@caopaopao (5769)
• China
15 Apr
Call him, dear. Or you will lose the wonderful guy in the world.
1 person likes this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
15 Apr
I 'll do. But that will take time.
1 person likes this
@caopaopao (5769)
• China
15 Apr
@august18 Come on, friend. I'm waiting for your good news.
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
14 Apr
Its hard to say really but if you feel like that why not get back to being just his friend again and that is if you can and see how you feel from there? It seems like he has a great feeling for you but did not know how to say it outright and there are men like that.
1 person likes this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
15 Apr
I'll speak to him again but that will take some time.
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
15 Apr
@august18 I have known at least two happenings similar to this one where they did not know how to say how they felt in the end they both got married but I know its not always the case and you have to take your time if you feel that way also.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (35322)
14 Apr
You have been friends for more than 15 years - and because he proposed ,you told him never to speak to you again? Even though you told him no - surely you could still be friends?
1 person likes this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
14 Apr
That's why I boiling. I can't let him go because he's my best friend but at the same time I'm afraid I 'll make him suffer if I stay close.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (35322)
14 Apr
@august18 You don't have to stay close. Now that you are aware of his feelings you will be alert and not spend too much time with him - but you can still be friends.
1 person likes this
@Icydoll (13153)
• India
14 Apr
Just stay away..you are already away from him..you didn't speak with him for few years after proposal.when you don't have any feelings it's not right to talk with him again only for a sake of dream.if you go back he might again feel that you have love feeling towards him..just keep the friendship memories and move on.
1 person likes this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
14 Apr
He proposed last month. You're definitely right but something in my heart keeps holding me back. I just can't ignore our friendship.
@Icydoll (13153)
• India
14 Apr
@august18 mmm I can understand the both ways ..I had a friend who faced the same problem..it's not good to continue friendship with even though your friendship is for 15 years because there is chance of him to still show feelings on you ,isn't so easy for him to forget love and remain as a friend with you...I appreciate your decision..but move on now,you not at all wrong
2 people like this
17 Apr
Forget about the shock,just humble yourself before him so he can let you know his intentions for you. With these,you can make your decision.
1 person likes this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
17 Apr
I will. Thank you so much.
1 person likes this
• Botswana
16 Apr
I think you should call him.The guy is genuine,obviously he knew by telling you how he felt, he will risk loosing great friendship of 15 years but he did it anyway.Marrying your best friend is not a bad idea either..Lol..
1 person likes this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
16 Apr
I'm against the idea of marriage. We've been neighbours then friends for many years. He knew that fact about me so well.
16 Apr
Yes.I also want to say no...
1 person likes this
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
16 Apr
Thanks for sharing your opinion.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
16 Apr
Follow your heart. You can call him, for friendship's sake. But then, it's all up to you. Whatever sets your worry and anxious free, do it..
@august18 (1644)
• Tunisia
16 Apr
Thank you for your kind words. I will call him when the time comes.