Anger Issue: 'Why Aren't I ''More Famous''?'

Tweet

I am amazing. I know 'all of you' are amazing too--"each a miracle in your own special way "--but I'm PHENOMENOLOGICAL! (or some other big, hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia-activating word). And of course I don't mean "famous" in the sense of 'selling bazillions of movies, music-albums, writings, etc.' or 'being related to the Kardashians' (like their half-sister (on track to become the youngest billionaire alive) Kylie Jenner); I mean 'more-celebrated' (which is why famous people are called "celebrities.") What did I do that's so 'fameworthy'? Well, I died (only for a few minutes) and came back to life with a lot of help from the medical (physical therapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy, psychotherapy, music therapy, a lot of rest, exercise, Christian meditation) community ... But that is much-much more-common than you'd hope! although you're probably not going to hear much about it unless you- or someone you're close to-goes through it (and even today--when 'everybody' has "instant access" to practically all the information--you have to really-really want to find out about specific problems before you'll hear most of it ... (That's because--a lot like 'the long list of side-effects of certain drugs'--people DON'T WANT TO KNOW that amazing things (relief from illness, getting back to life after traumatic-brain-injury) require A LOT OF PAIN ) I think of Orlando ("Will Turner (Jr.)" from Pirates of the Caribbean, "Legolas" from Lord of the Rings) Bloom ... I'm not sure if he specifically 'suffered' a brain injury, but he did survive a three-story fall that broke his back, paralyzed him for a few days, and required 18 months of therapy (which he called "the making of me"). The main difference I see---I 'suffered' my injury when I was only 14. That may be 1) the reason I was able to recover so well (since my body was practically "still growing" at the time), but 2) it also may be the reason I'm still treated like a 14-year-old! ... a common issue with most other TBI-'survivors' is that their brains are regarded as 'developmentally stuck at 'the age they were when they were injured.' That's why--for example--a fellow TBI-survivor (who 'suffered' his TBI when he was an adult, I think) has 'graduated' to become a counselor at the 'retreats' we both attend, while I (even though I've been living with the injury for over 20 years and have managed to regain most of my faculties) am still regarded as a 14-year-old! Don't get me wrong; I understand that (behaviorally, and in other ways ... not many physical ways, but mostly 'the ways that would make me pay income-taxes' ) I'm going to be 'stuck' at 14, but ... I guess it's "payment" for 'being so unpredictable'--- Like Gandalf the Grey (another Lord of the Rings-character): he's always 'where he intends to be' (going where he wants to go whenever he feels like it's time to go there); but no one can ever predict 'when he'll be there' or 'whether he'll be there to help or to harm,' so no one 'counts on him to help out' or 'respects him as anything but extra help' (I remember when I was reading the original books, there would be long-long stretches where I wasn't sure if he was there to help Bilbo- & Frodo Baggins or to prevent them from accomplishing their quests!)