Opinions / Advice needed.
@CountryGirl31 (1257)
United States
July 23, 2018 2:21am CST
So my daughter has been officially dating her friend Ed for a few weeks now but she has mentioned a few things to me. He wants her to go "public" with their relationship and she isn't ready for that as a special needs friend (Eric) of both of theirs still considers her as his girlfriend.
Also, within the last week or so, Ed has changed. He has to sit close to her where their legs are touching and pull her closer by putting his arm around her. My daughter is not comfortable at this point for that much contact. She is also not comfortable at all when he starts to rub her leg.
I'm glad that my daughter feels that she can come to me to talk about this stuff. I have informed her that she needs to express her concerns with Ed and tell him how she is uncomfortable with all of the items mentioned above. She is afraid however that she will lose Ed as a friend.
So later on today, it's almost 3:30am now, we will probably be hanging out with Ed again. I told my daughter that since she wants me to express her concerns with Ed that she is probably not mature enough to be in a relationship with him so the relationship will probably be overwith tonight.
My only hope is that he will still want to be friends with her as he's one of the few friends she has outside of school.
9 people like this
12 responses
@CatNip7 (97)
• United States
23 Jul 18
I think you should be with her when she goes to talk to him.
I think your daughter or you should ask what does he mean by initiating these close forms contact? Are they in a comforting gesture, absent minded type of touch, is it a form of cuddling? How does doing these things make him feel?
2 people like this
@CountryGirl31 (1257)
• United States
25 Jul 18
@CatNip7 She likes that he likes her. She does like him but only as a friend and she has a hard time telling him that. And if he actually liked her for two years, I think he would've said something to her before now.
They have a mutual friend and I think Ed just wanted to date KK to make this friend mad.
KK did have a talk with Ed last night and she told him that she just wanted to be friends with him. She didn't mention how him doing all the close contact stuff made her uncomfortable but should it happen again, I'll be there to shut it down quick.
1 person likes this
@CountryGirl31 (1257)
• United States
23 Jul 18
I will be with her and whenever they hang out, it's always the 3 of us. The close contact is something he does when he thinks I'm not looking and once he sees that I see it, he ends it immediately without me having to say anything.
Ed doesnt talk about his feelings or why he wanted to date KK. Just said that he's liked her for "like 2 years now". Yet they didnt actually become friends until this past year.
1 person likes this
@CatNip7 (97)
• United States
24 Jul 18
@CountryGirl31 Does she like him in the way he likes her?
I'm sorry but that reasoning of liking anyone for years just doesn't sit right with me as a reason to go out with them. I don't mean to harsh I'm just expressing my thoughts....
1 person likes this
@rakski (112925)
• Philippines
23 Jul 18
If she is not comfortable with he wants, then he should respect here. If he truly likes her, right?
Now, if he will not remain her friend, I think he just want more physical stuff. He just want it to be legal that is why he wants their relationship be public.
2 people like this
@rakski (112925)
• Philippines
23 Jul 18
@CountryGirl31 that is ture and that is scary. How old are they if I may ask?
1 person likes this
@CountryGirl31 (1257)
• United States
23 Jul 18
I agree and that's what worries me. She doesnt know what a real relationship actually entails. I mean, I have talked to her about it but it's different when it's actually happening.
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
23 Jul 18
Best to speak up and set things straight. If he cares for her then he will slow down.
2 people like this
@Letranknight2015 (51537)
• Philippines
23 Jul 18
That's taking advantage of her, she better know what she wants with this guy.
It's either break it with him or make it official with him, don't get the guy confused.
2 people like this
@Letranknight2015 (51537)
• Philippines
24 Jul 18
@CountryGirl31 it's better to keep a close eye on her.
@CountryGirl31 (1257)
• United States
23 Jul 18
I agree. And she is definately not comfortable with all the contact. To her right now, dating is just having the title and maybe holding hands. She is not ready for the other stuff.
1 person likes this
@CountryGirl31 (1257)
• United States
23 Jul 18
I agree and I hope so too. I've always told my daughter to be open and honest with me because while some things may make me mad, hiding things from me would make it so much worse.
@Zirva1122 (17)
•
23 Jul 18
Its sounds nice... that ur daughters has shared this stuff and communicated you... but in my opinion she should share her irritation with ED .. as if he is her good friend he ll understand and respect her rather than just to respect his own moto
2 people like this
@CountryGirl31 (1257)
• United States
23 Jul 18
I agree which is why we are going to talk to him tonight. That way if he gets mad, I'll be there to handle it instead of my daughter backing down like she has in the past.
2 people like this
@CountryGirl31 (1257)
• United States
23 Jul 18
@Zirva1122 Yes it is and I will be there for her always.
@Zirva1122 (17)
•
23 Jul 18
@CountryGirl31 that's good. Its ur prior duty to respect the ego of your doll rather than him
1 person likes this
@Missmwngi (12926)
• Nairobi, Kenya
23 Jul 18
You are right but i hope they remain as friends
1 person likes this
@CountryGirl31 (1257)
• United States
23 Jul 18
I hope so too but if Ed doesn't want to be then that's his choice.
1 person likes this
@Missmwngi (12926)
• Nairobi, Kenya
23 Jul 18
@CountryGirl31 Very true and am sure one day your daughter will be glad and proud of her choices
@Courtlynn (66918)
• United States
23 Jul 18
I would say the same as you did, and think shes not ready too
1 person likes this
@responsiveme (22926)
• India
23 Jul 18
@CountryGirl31 that tyoe of bond is something very precious and you are lucky that the communication channel is open
2 people like this
@CountryGirl31 (1257)
• United States
23 Jul 18
It's not always easy but I've told her that she should always be honest with me and tell me when things are bothering her. I may not always be able to help but I'll try.
2 people like this
@CountryGirl31 (1257)
• United States
23 Jul 18
I hope so too. That's what KK is afraid of. That Ed won't want to be her friend but that will be his choice.
1 person likes this
@Jessabuma (31700)
• Baguio, Philippines
23 Jul 18
Hi ! I hope they still remain as friends..
1 person likes this
@CountryGirl31 (1257)
• United States
23 Jul 18
I hope so too but if Ed doesnt want to be her friend after the talk today, then thats on him and we will know that he only wanted to be with her for his own selfish reasons.
1 person likes this
@Jessabuma (31700)
• Baguio, Philippines
24 Jul 18
@CountryGirl31 yes that's true..
1 person likes this
@CountryGirl31 (1257)
• United States
24 Jul 18
@Jessabuma Well, we talked to him and they are no longer dating but are still friends. Not much has really changed except that he doesn't try to do any extra touching. Of course, that's just tonight. We will see how everything is in the next couple of days.
1 person likes this
