My father is a toxic person

@dya80dya (32833)
September 17, 2018 5:01pm CST
I live with my parents and I don't know how to deal with my toxic father. He is an unhappy person and all he does is spreading negativity. He is mean and he doesn't have empathy or compassion for other living beings. He thinks that animals don't deserve to be helped. He says animals have no value and if I help them it's not a good deed. A good deed would be to help a child, not a cat or a dog. He always criticised me. If I make a mistake he reminds me of that mistake my whole life. He says my passions (helping animals) are not important. He doesn't respect me. He ignores everything good. I told him today I was praised by my therapist and he didn't say anything about that. He just said that I have to make efforts and sacrifices. But I just told him that I was praised. He just ignored this. I don't know if I can forgive him. Sometimes I feel I hate him. And this is bad.
5 people like this
7 responses
• Philippines
18 Sep 18
The problem is with your father, and not with you, Dya. Just continue what you are doing. I admire you for having such a big heart for animals. Probably, If I am not sick, I would do the same thing. I would like to help abused/stray animals. God bless you
@Courage7 (19635)
• United States
18 Sep 18
I am so sorry to hear this as I know you are such a good loving kind person Dya. That negativity is very hard to live with. I hope that you can realize that whatever your Father is projecting is not true for you. I am glad your therapist helps. I hope one day you may not have to live there.
@marguicha (213841)
• Chile
17 Sep 18
How old are you? I wish you would add something in your profile.
@yukimori (10134)
• United States
17 Sep 18
It's not you, it's him. Sometimes the only thing you can do is cut the toxicity out of your life. Just because you share more DNA with them than the general population doesn't obligate you to deal with jerks like that forever.
@vsai2008 (11803)
• India
18 Sep 18
You are not having any problem, it is him. When you know the type of person he is,just dont give much importance to his words. You are really doing a good job by working with animals. If the work you are doing gives you satisfaction, then that's what matters. Dont take his words to your heart, you are doing a good job.
• United States
17 Sep 18
It makes me sad knowing that there are children who have toxic parents or either of the parents. I am happy that you have a therapist who is making a good difference i your life right now. It pays to reach out to good people. As for your father, make sure that when you are going to take care of your pets, he is not around. Work around the time he is not there with you. Just a suggestion because I am not sure if he is often at home. You therapist might have already told you something about this. About feeling hate towards him is normal and anybody could feel anger towards a parent or a sibling specially when they feel disrespected, ignored, not acknowledged or even not shown positive affection to. I am pretty sure your therapist already suggested how to deal with your anger towards your dad. Hang in there, things will be better, specially you have good people around you and your therapist too will be helping your through this :-)
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
17 Sep 18
I'm sorry to hear that but a good many people have this problem with one or both of their parents. Can you live elsewhere? Have you tried talking to him or finding our why he is so unhappy or is he one of those that won't talk about himself? Remember that he can't make you feel bad, you allow him to do so. You can choose to be happy or sad. I'm sure it's hard to ignore someone you live with and deny them the power to influence your feelings but try it. Don't hate him, that is such a destructive emotion. His own father probably treated him as he treats you. I hope it will get better eventually.