Adventures at the Hope Lodge

Tweet

Hi MyLot, It's been a week, alright. Spent 2 days at the Hope Lodge and 2 days with my parents to help them out. Mom needed a smaller procedure and meeting with a surgeon in Minneapolis which is about 2 hours drive. So we once again got to stay at the Hope Lodge. This is a place for people with cancer or who have had cancer and their care givers to stay for free while the patient goes to treatments and appointments. While it isn't cancer recurrence for my mom, it is stuff that is caused by the damage that cancer and treatments did to her system. She will need a larger surgery to fix it these issues. Its quite troubling. But I have never seen anyone go through all these medical torments with such grace. Now here's the part of the story that most people who know me, never get to read about. Now here's the part of the story that others who know me rarely get to know. Even though it is my mom having the issues, it is my dad who requires most of my caregiving. Whenever he feels the spotlight is off of him, like it is now because of my mom's health issues, it seems like all of his issues "go to 11". Or get a lot worse. He's also depressive, forgetful, impossible to explain things to, and somewhat volatile mood wise. (Not bad) For example. Meer hours after having a tube inserted into her kidney through her back, my dad asks my mom for a leg massage. I snapped at him. I said "she's just had a procedure done, so if you need lots of rubbing and massages, I'll do it". We needed to pick up some few items from a pharmacy. Now this is the metro area and there is no parking. So he tells me to run into the pharmacy, buy the items, and come back out. He will circle the block until I'm out side on the street corner. So, I'm standing outside, in freezing weather, in a rough part of town.... waiting for him for about an hour. Of course I could have walked back to the Hope Lodge. But then he would panic if I wasn't there when he eventually drove by. So I waited. Finally, he called my mom who called me. He went 2 blocks away and was waiting for me at a different pharmacy. When I got there. He **tried to blame it on me**. How is it my fault he did something other than what he told me? So we got back to the Hope Lodge and I have to do the bandaging change on my mom, something very difficult for me with germ fears. Then he starts whining about what he will eat for supper. So I research some restaurants that will deliver. Find one. Then he throws a temper tantrum - it isn't good enough to order delivery. He wants to go into a restaurant and look at the food and then we can order. Except for the restaurants are in the same location as the pharmacy he stranded me at earlier in the day. No parking. So, he says "you run in, Faye, and I will circle the block until you come out.". So at first I tried politely. I said "It's much easier to just have it delivered". So he insisted "I want to look at what it is I'm eating." So I said "I'd really rather order in, we already had a little adventure like that today". So he said "Oh riiiiiiiight, like that at the pharmacy was my fault." So at that point my mom and I both yell at him. "Yes, it was your fault". (how could he not understand that? I was only doing what he told me to, it is him who decided to park at another location.) So finally we are allowed to order delivery. Yes. Thank you very much. He did apologize. And he did settle down nicely after that. But still. There is no excuse for such stress on top of what is already stressful. Later that night we played bingo at the Hope Lodge. They try to have little activities most nights. It really is nice. Dad won and let me choose, his way of apologizing I think. I got the leopard print blanket I wanted. :-) We won a few times. Another interesting thing that happened was - as we were checking in, I helped this older couple who were also checking in. They were having a tough time with their cart of things. And then we would talk. Turns out they owned a store in the town I was born in. I had been in their store a few times. So it took 20 years later - and I meet them in Minneapolis at the Hope Lodge. We are going to keep in touch. :-) So, that's my adventure. It's been interesting. I'm happy and thanks be to God isn't cancer for my mom, that is the important thing, and what I keep reminding myself of when stuff seems too stressful. I hope your adventures have been easier MyLot. Website: Official Hope Lodge Site