I feel a little guilty...

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This is a very unusual situation. I am a member of writing group in my town. The person that founded the group (N) hasn't been able to attend every meeting because she has been caring for her husband who developed Alzheimer's a few years ago. Her kids didn't want to care for him because that means changing his diaper. One of our members (J), who is closest to her, learned from her that her husband passed away but told her not to tell anyone. Well the friend couldn't handle the burden of carrying such a secret so she told a couple of us members. We know how N is. She is very private and she wanted to deal with her grief privately. He died at the end of September. Then when I got back from Cuba J called and told me that N's mother-in-law passed away AND N herself had pneumonia, had been in and out of hospital and the medication wasn't helping. I got on the computer and checked the local funeral home. Right next to one of the members of my parish who passed away was the mother-in-law. When I opened up the obit there was a clear indication that N's husband had passed away. J was so relieved to learn that this information is now considered public and we were able to tell some of the other members and asked them to write her a letter. I was really worried that N could pass away as well. (I don't know her age - that's how private she is - but I think she is close to 70). So I phoned some members and told them the situation and asked them to just send her a note of encouragement, letting her know that we are here for her. N had a bad childhood and has been angry most of her life. It's really hard to know how she was going to respond. Why do I feel guilty? Because I, myself, have yet to sit down and send her a letter or card. I had the perfect card on hand but couldn't find an envelope to fit and then I got busy with Christmas. Today I called and left a brief, hopefully comforting message on her answering machine. I will follow-up with a note. How would you deal with a situation where a friend said, "My husband died but don't tell anyone."?