Does It Bother You If The Wife Is The Only Breadwinner?
By KrauseHome
@KrauseHome (36448)
United States
January 15, 2019 5:39pm CST
I have 2 gals I know here locally. One is in her late 20s and another in her mid 30s who are married. One has 2 kids, and the other does not. Both of them are the only workers in their family so they are always struggling. When one gets sick and has to miss some work there is nothing coming in.
I even have relatives on my husbands side who are like this. To me, this totally bugs me. I was always raised that a man should always be one of the Bread winners and take care of the family. So glad I have a husband who is a dedicated worker and stays true to a job without constantly wanting to be somewhere else, or just sit at home all the time.
Personally I could see if they had some serious Health issues and is unable to work, but to just not really want to do anything, that to me is unreal. There are too many jobs out there hurting for workers for someone to just not even go try and help out their family. Maybe it is just me, but how can a man live with himself allowing his wife to be the only one working and he just sit at home all the time?
~~TINA~~
26 people like this
30 responses
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
1 Feb 19
I guess if the one working is making enough to where you know they are not getting housing, Free medical and Food Stamps and it all because the husband does not feel a need to work and support their family. They are taking away from the Elderly and disabled who might really need the help more than them
@NJChicaa (116013)
• United States
15 Jan 19
Personally I believe that both spouses should have jobs to bring income in to better the situation of the family. If your kids are old enough to go to school, send them to school. If they aren't, find a family member/day care/pre-school/friends whatever to watch them and go get a job. This isn't the 1950's and neither are the prices.
I would LOVE to quit my job because it is killing my mental health. I CAN'T, though, due to the extremely high cost of living in my state. My husband and I couldn't have a comfortable life if I quit my job so I just muscle through each day.
7 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
1 Feb 19
I hear you... If we had kids we would be in trouble since I cannot work, and yes we struggle even with what I get from disability and selling online. I can't imagine why someone would want to be married and just have their husband have no desire to work with all the places hurting for workers
@GardenGerty (157563)
• United States
16 Jan 19
My husband, even at his age wishes he could be working. I do too, in a way, and I am several years younger than he is. However, he is having health problems and I am taking care of him. I earn what I can online.
7 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
17 Jan 19
Yes in that situstion it is understandable. I cannot work due to medical issues myself but always trying any way I can to earn some extra online to help out things here.
3 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
19 Jan 19
Depending on where they live there is always a job, especially if you're in a bigger area here in the US. Sometimes they just don't want to work and expect their wife to be the Bread winner. To me I was always taught unless Medical issues or retired a Man should always be working and bringing in money
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (458233)
• Switzerland
20 Jan 19
@KrauseHome This is also my opinion, we decided to work together, it was more money at the end of the month, but my husband worked all his life.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (325854)
• Rockingham, Australia
16 Jan 19
It depends on the circumstances. Sometimes the wife has a better paying job. As long as the husband runs the house properly, then I don't really have a problem with it. If he is just a lazy so-and-so sitting on his backside then that is a different story.
6 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
25 Jan 19
The one I am referring too in this here, just sits on his butt. He pretends to be a Pastor, but does not really preach in his own church, and not paid for it. I think they are on assistance and Proud to be there even if they lie about her working etc
2 people like this
@shaggin (71666)
• United States
26 Jan 19
@judyEv My childrens father was best friends with a boy who he and his sister were raised by the father. The mother was the one who had a waitressing job and provided for the family. It worked for them even if other people thought it was weird!
3 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
17 Jan 19
If it worked for you than good. Ones I see anymore, the husband refuses to do anything and even won;t go to the store for their wife when she's sick due to there is no $$ there to do so.
2 people like this
@Courage7 (19633)
• United States
17 Jan 19
@KrauseHome Oh I know what you mean Tina..that is so low down.
2 people like this
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
16 Jan 19
That is not right! A man should be working to care for the family.
4 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
27 Jan 19
Yes I can't believe the Women that marry a man and struggle in marriage financially but continue to just accept that their husbands do not want to work, and if they are going to have $$ and not want to live off of Welfare all their life then they need to go to work. Especially if the husband then does not even want to help with anything around the house either
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (45123)
• Canada
27 Jan 19
@KrauseHome Thy should teach how to be a good husband in school.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
1 Feb 19
@1hopefulman Now that would be a good one. Or teach people especially when in High School how to be good parents, etc. Make the male go to work for a couple days full time, give them a Baby to care for for a couple hrs, etc.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (215492)
• Chile
15 Jan 19
I have done it twice in my life in special moments of our married life. For the most part, my husband was the main provider. All the money was ours. Always.
6 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
25 Jan 19
Yes there is nothing wrong with the 2 of you working if need be. But the man should always be able to work in case the wife someday cannot. I would be in trouble if my husband was not working. To me that was one of the important things before I married him was a place for me to live that was his, and a good job.
@arthurchappell (45002)
• Preston, England
16 Jan 19
it wouldn't worry me - though I would want to bring something in too - living alone as I do, the rules don't apply to me at present
3 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
27 Jan 19
We would be in trouble unless it was Health related. Just cannot believe some of the people who actually do not mind if their husband is like this, even when they are not even able to help out while the wife is at work, or in case of when she gets sick and they have to post on Facebook for help due the husband not being able to get them anything
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
29 Jan 19
@arthurchappell I agree whole heartily. I often wonder why some people think this is Biblical?
1 person likes this
@arthurchappell (45002)
• Preston, England
27 Jan 19
@KrauseHome A partner who won't help you when you are ill is no partner at all
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
27 Jan 19
If a person can afford for only the wife to work then that would be fine. But the 2 I know the families are just scraping by, and one the husband even expects the wife to cook and clean, etc and very seldom does anything to help out, and wouldn't even go to the store when his wife was sick. She was trying to find someone elsewhere to help get her some Cough syrup
1 person likes this
@just4him (306386)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
16 Jan 19
I hear you. Men are the head of the household and the one who is supposed to be the main breadwinner in the family. That's the order God he purposed in us when He created us. It's a shame those women have to take on the whole burden of the family.
4 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
27 Jan 19
Yes and one of them keeps on saying her husband is an Ordained Pastor? But where in the Bible does it state Men just sit at home while woman provides?
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
1 Feb 19
@just4him The church they attend has like 4 pr 5 Men who can preach and are licensed, but he is not paid for anything unless he preaches.
2 people like this
@just4him (306386)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Jan 19
@KrauseHome If the one is an ordained minister, he has a workload right there. His time is consumed with work in and for the church. He also draws a salary from the membership of the church.
It doesn't say anywhere in the Bible that men are supposed to sit home while the woman provides for the family. God told Adam and Eve the order of the family and it was man went to work and women took care of the family.
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
2 Feb 19
They live off of Food Stamps and Free medical since she is only working part time most of the time, so not sure why he will not go get a job or help around the house when needed
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
25 Feb 19
@paigea O know... I just cant see how it does not bother some women or wives when their husband is not wanting to work.
2 people like this
@paigea (35705)
• Canada
3 Feb 19
@KrauseHome shameful if they are both able. I wouldn't put up with it.
2 people like this
@andriaperry (116860)
• Anniston, Alabama
16 Jan 19
Mr. Mom is okay, I know people who did this. But the lazy one, No!
I divorced a lazy man, work a month and quit or get fired, I always worked and I reckon I always will but I am not keeping up a lazy man.
4 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
25 Jan 19
Yes those of us who are older, know most men from that era will gladly work, and many luckily have been able to work a job a good 20 yrs or more. The younger generation does not want to work anywhere for very long it they want to work, and that is Sad. They want to live at home, or get Married and have the Wife support them all their life
@responsiveme (22926)
• India
16 Jan 19
It depends on the actual situation and is anyway up to them
5 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
2 Feb 19
That is true, and I would never voice my opinion to them. I just wonder why?
1 person likes this
@responsiveme (22926)
• India
3 Feb 19
@KrauseHome yes, I understand. Actually all relationships are different, if there was a formula things would have worked out...Like in math
1 person likes this
@cyclonewriter (2168)
• United States
16 Jan 19
As of next week, my husband will be staying home and we made that choice together. We can afford it! He doesn't enjoy the drag of every day the same thing and I love my job. In addition, he will take care of things at home that I just can't get to and spend our weekends trying to do! This will free up weekends for us to enjoy and relax some. I think each couple needs to decide and as a friend, I'd be offended if my friends didn't just want whatever worked for me. It is 2019 and times have changed..I agree when I was a child, things were different, but change is good!
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
23 Feb 19
Not sure what the whole reason is for one of them. I know one of them is in School and helps take care of the kids when he is not so that is not as big of an issue.
The other one not sure why. I do know the husband does not drive, and does not work, and not worried about his wife working `12-15 hr days an hr from home late into the night or when she had to drive on icy roads when they were advising everyone to stay home.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
27 Feb 19
@shaggin I have no idea... but to not be worried if your wife is out in the traffic until 2-3 am or having to drive in the snow when the weatherman says no driving unless absolutely necessary while all the schools are closed, etc How can you be a practicing Pastor without a drivers license and work?
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71666)
• United States
23 Feb 19
@KrauseHome a few people I know worked to put their husbands through college and now their husbands make a good living too. The second one sounds like he could be disabled.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
27 Jan 19
But one of them the husband couldn't even go get her something when she was too sick and had to miss work. And I have heard he does not clean or cook. She has to do all that as well.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (47082)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
27 Jan 19
@KrauseHome Well, in this case, I see your point. He should be able to help her out and do some cleaning or something.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
23 Feb 19
I am not sure in the case of the one with no kids if he does anything. I know I have never heard of him doing anything. I know that there are things going on there that I just sometimes wonder how much of a concern the husband even has sometimes.
1 person likes this
@id_peace (14005)
• Singapore
2 Mar 19
The wife will have to talk to the guy to find out what does he think about it. On another hand, the guy must try hard to reduce the distance between himself and the wife when it comes to earning.
@Fleura (29126)
• United Kingdom
16 Jan 19
If they are struggling as you say then you would think that any caring husband or wife would want to step up and help if they were able. But you can never really understand someone else's life. Presumably they must have come to some agreement over who does what/pays for what?
2 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
28 Feb 19
I agree there and personally cannot understand how a husband if they are not working outside the home cannot help around the house without having to depend on the wife to also do the housework, cleaning etc
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
28 Feb 19
@Fleura Not really sure. Maybe she just got used to there never being anything extra? She did not seem to let it bother her that they might also still need help from Welfare etc because he does not want to work
1 person likes this
@Fleura (29126)
• United Kingdom
28 Feb 19
@KrauseHome It does sound as though the wife gets the worst of the deal, I wonder why she chose this particular man as a husband in each case?
1 person likes this
@ilocosboy (45157)
• Philippines
15 Jan 19
It will bother me if the husband just sitting there all day without the effort of finding jobs for him.
3 people like this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
25 Feb 19
Me too as I don't think I would enjoy having to be the Bread winner or knowing you can qualify for Food Stamps, etc just because your husband don't even want to try for a job or work. My husband owned a place before we married and had a Good job so that was the plus I needed.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
25 Feb 19
But when you are struggling having to wonder how to keep Food in the house, or gas in the Car and always having to look for help somewhere how can this be good especially when there are kids in the house?
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
27 Feb 19
@Sheali You would think ... but some don't
1 person likes this
@Sheali (7461)
• India
25 Feb 19
@KrauseHome That is true.. It depends on the family as I said..
If the female can manage outdoor work, the male can work indoors.. In India, traditionally it is supposed to be the other way round
1 person likes this
