my gf has bone cancer

Philippines
November 29, 2006 6:32pm CST
i just knew yesterday when we chat that she has bone cancer. what should i do? should i comfort her or should i break up with her? i need your help guys.
3 people like this
58 responses
@Janus7602 (143)
• United States
30 Nov 06
My condolences to you and especially your girlfriend. My father has a friend that was dating a woman who came down with cancer. He stayed with her through everything, the chemo, the hairloss, etc. What happened is that their relationship grew stronger. I guess the real question is do you care about her as a person and truly love her?
1 person likes this
@cheetahnc (415)
• United States
30 Nov 06
why in the world would you break up with her? You should be there for her, let her know that she can count on you.
1 person likes this
30 Nov 06
You need to comfort her but if your questioning yourself it makes me wonder what type of guy you really are! I mean your considering breaking up with her just because you found out she had bone cancer? Yeah sure, the distance might cause a problem, but to be going out with her you must still speak to each other somehow... She's going to be scared and need love and support and as her boyfriend you need to be her rock at a time like this. If you really love her then you wouldn't even be asking this let alone, considering breaking up with her!
• India
30 Nov 06
Never premeditate yourself into a decision. It's her honesty which made her tell you this debilitating fact. This is the time when she needs you the most and lo, you think of breaking up. Why do you see her untruth only in the negative way, it maybe because she didn't want to see the smile wiped off your face. It's afterall your life, but why do you restrict yourself only to the Materialistic Relationship? See it from a humane point of view, would you do the same if it was some kith or kin?? Hope this helps. I'm really diappointed with your plane of thinking, disappointing indeed.
• Philippines
30 Nov 06
i would accept the fact if she have told me long before coz i would have help her.. my question is why now? when the condition has worsen...
1 person likes this
• Philippines
30 Nov 06
if she told me long before then i should have help her financially... treating the disease, recommending her to some specialist i knew... maybe know she's treated and cancer cells all gone. but now, its too late.. australian specialists have already started radiation therapy to her...
• Philippines
30 Nov 06
i just dont know why would God put me in this extreme situation... why my girlfriend and not me instead.. it's just so unfair..
@Pici0274 (557)
• United States
30 Nov 06
At first, I thought that you should support and comfort your girlfriend. But as I read through your answers to your replies, I had a change of thought. I now believe that you should break up fast with this girl because you are too self centered. She will be better off without you. She will need alot of attention and solid support in the future.
• United States
30 Nov 06
That's true, I never thought about that. Good answer!!
• United States
30 Nov 06
You're welcome... and I know what you mean.. it is awful.
@yorb24 (2181)
• United States
30 Nov 06
She might have been afraid to tell you because you would break up with her. Exactly what you are considering on doing. I would stick it out. If not a relationship, then at least as a friend. She really needs someone right now.
• Philippines
30 Nov 06
nope... im not planning to break up with her.. she opened to me to let her go.. and i said, NO.. and promise her i will be with her no matter what happens...
@yorb24 (2181)
• United States
30 Nov 06
Well then that's really great. She's in a terrible state right now, both physically and mentally. Whether it will be her time or not, you should make the most of it for her.
@crankycool (1052)
• India
2 Dec 06
COME ON!!! You cant break up with her just because she has bone cancer. You should be the first person to console her. If possible support her in her treatment and dont ever break up with her
• Philippines
2 Dec 06
im not breaking up with her..
@sesha1240 (303)
• India
2 Dec 06
i think its curable.. dont worry..evrything will be fine..!!
• Philippines
2 Dec 06
i hope so. i always pray to God that sooner or later she will be treated...
@banta78 (4334)
• India
2 Dec 06
First tell me what if you were in her position and she in yours. Then what you would have liked her to do. C'mmon be a man if you really love her this is the time to show it. That you really care for her. I know it is easy to say. But it's true. So go and comfort her.
• Philippines
2 Dec 06
thanks for the advice.
• United States
30 Nov 06
if you really would break up with her im not sure that you totally love her. Do you love her? Why would you leave her?
• Philippines
1 Dec 06
i love her.. she was the one who told me to break up with her and leave her alone.. i told her i love her and im not gonna leave her no matter what happens... then she cried.
@22651479 (88)
• India
30 Nov 06
try spend some more time with her ask about her cancer
• Philippines
30 Nov 06
how can i be there physically with her? im in the Philippines and she is now in Australia for her treatment.. all i can do for now is pray and ask God for early recovery and treatment.
• Philippines
30 Nov 06
Comfort Her and Both you pray to God to heal her . And Ask God to Have a extended life. Just be on your faith I believe that God Will listen to your Prayer and I God Knows Her health status, you know right now God is Waiting to you talk to him. In God All things Are Posible..
• Philippines
30 Nov 06
thanks for advice..
@Marie2473 (8519)
• Sweden
30 Nov 06
I almost choked when I read the sentance should I comfort her or break up with her... Why even consider breaking up. I know that she lied, but imagine how scared she must be.. I do think u shuld break up with her because in my point of view.. If u ask this question u donĀ“t love her the way she needs and deserves right now. Good luck!
• Philippines
30 Nov 06
im still in shock about what she told me but i am not definitely breaking up with her since i love her so much...
• Philippines
30 Nov 06
hello dear, i would like to answer your question.. all you have to do is to care and comfort her... because at this time she felt pitty for herself... if you really love her... take care of her and do your best to make her happy, coz you dont know? God will take away her life, at least you showed your love to her. Dont break up with her, she will might be hurt. It is better to make someone happy..
• Philippines
30 Nov 06
thanks for the advice ma'am...
@marisk8 (238)
• Brazil
30 Nov 06
i do undestand that she kept it from you, but have u thought that she might have done that because she was afraid u would break up with her? i think u should talk to her and say that she shouldve told u before, because, seriously, so what if she has bone cancer? she needs your support and love, not a heartbreak. so tell her theres no big deal about it :)
• Philippines
30 Nov 06
maybe she thought that i would but actually i dont want too.. i will understand her despite of her condition.. what i really dont like is keeping her condition from me as her boyfriend.. she already had it and she keep it from me and her family for a year now..
@blakky (137)
• Australia
30 Nov 06
it seems like you are just looking for justification to break up with her anyway, so why ask waht everyone else thinks?
• Philippines
30 Nov 06
I'm just asking for an advice.. not a justification to break up with her.
@medooley (1874)
• United States
30 Nov 06
I am pretty sure that this is a decision that you need to come up with on your own... If you can't make this decision by yourself you need a lot more help than what you will find here on myLot.
• Philippines
30 Nov 06
thanks for the advice..
30 Nov 06
I hope your reaction is due to shock and not a measure of who you are as a person. Your reaction seems very selfish....this is not about you. She may have chosen not to tell you because; a) she didn't know for sure b) she was still trying to come to terms with the news c) she didn't want to upset/worry you d) she thought you might act negatively (like now) e) the list goes on and on She will need someone strong, if she has to worry about you as well, she is better off alone. So, I would say "shape up or ship out" for her sake and not yours. I am sorry to be harsh, but I can't believe you are actually asking this question. She has the cancer, not you. Try and put yourself in her position.
• Philippines
30 Nov 06
just my reaction.. i was shock.. i just knew it yesterday.. and now im still in shock..
@YoMomma1 (922)
• United States
30 Nov 06
Do you truly love her? If so, then love her unconditionally, and until the end of time
• Philippines
30 Nov 06
yup.. i wasn't the one who wants to break up with her.. she just told me to let her go.. and i said no. then she keeps on insisting.. and she even told me and i guote, "I shouldn't have told you about my condition." end quote.
@misskatonic (3726)
• United States
30 Nov 06
As someone who has a lot of health problems, all I can say is talk it over with her. Have a discussion with her about the situation, where you both stand on it, and decide what would be best for both of you. It's very, very difficult to be with someone who has health problems. I know some people are probably saying you're cruel or something, but I've been on the other side of the same situation. I wouldn't expect anyone who couldn't honestly handle being with a sick person to stick it out. So talk to your girlfriend, and see what's best for you both.
• United States
30 Nov 06
Yeah, that's why my advice is for the OP to talk with his gf about it. I've been with people who just couldn't handle it, and it was the worst thing ever. For both of us. There was a lot of resentment, a lot of misdirected anger, and a lot of frustration. I would never, ever want someone staying with me out of guilt or anything like that.