A New Approach To Smalltalk
@danishcanadian (28953)
Canada
April 26, 2022 3:16pm CST
What if instead of the expected question of “how are you” and the expected answer of well-being even in the midst of crap, we asked “what are your pronouns?” Or “My name is ____ (and I go by ____) How do you prefer to be addressed?” I’m so sick of meaningless small talk. If we’re going g to talk I think we should either keep it professional as in “ how May I help you?” or actually care, as in asking pronouns, as just one example. “How are you, I’m fine,” has become as stale as “blessed be the fruit, May the lord open,” was meant to be. Those who have read The Handmaid’s Tale will get that reference.
Do you think it’s time for small talk to change with the times? Do we even need it? I will not feel rejected if the barista doesn’t ask how I am, nor am I threatened enough by the barista (or anyone) that I need to be calmed before making a purchase. For me the human touch is having the intelligence to do the job, not the need to take time to ask unnecessary questions.
“It’s great to see you,” would also work. Even if the person doesn’t know me personally, they’re happy for my business. It’s always great to see a paying customer.
What are your thoughts?
6 people like this
8 responses
@Deepizzaguy (94626)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
26 Apr 22
I prefer to speak in a professional manner as well in my behavior.
2 people like this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
26 Apr 22
There are getting to be fewer and fewer. I prefer professional oner “friendly.” I don’t want to blur lines, but I don’t wanna be a witch either.
2 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (45501)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
26 Apr 22
My thought? You seem to be feeling cranky today.
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
26 Apr 22
LOL!!! The expectation to perform makes me cranky, authenticity isn’t liberating. A lot of folks on the autism spectrum just don’t do smalltalk, and small things like that. It’s one of the things that makes us efficient.
2 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (45501)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
26 Apr 22
@danishcanadian Made ya laugh!
1 person likes this
. . . it starts things off 
. At least stale is safe 
. . . no need to think or try to be creative. The words just "are" and we assume it's friendly anyway . . . sometimes that's just enough 
.
@ihasaquestion (8274)
•
26 Apr 22
I guess this depends on the type of customers that come in to order say drinks, food or etc and the situations at hand.
Some customers love small talks, while others appreciate the quiet peace and just wanna make do with the transactions and be done with it.
However, with all these being said, it is nice to have a short conversation or getting a well-wish from the service staff. It is just that human touch and good to know that not everyone is monotonous, in a way.
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
26 Apr 22
I’d love to know what you think of pronouns. Some get smalltalk, done done. Maybe all we really need is a polite way of saying “can we please get right down to business?”
2 people like this
@CarolDM (203452)
• Nashville, Tennessee
26 Apr 22
@danishcanadian I honestly think they are ridiculous.
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (57806)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
26 Apr 22
I hate it when I'm online, and someone asks me 'what's your name?' because most of the time, my user name has a name. A name I would actually like to be called. The only time "what's your name" is accescptable in my opinion is in person and I'm talking to a stranger. Unless there's a reason for it, I also hate 'where are you from?'
As humans I think we've gotten to where we almost feel obligated to speak and make small talk. But, in today's society, unless there's a point, I don't feel the need for it.
@Fleura (29130)
• United Kingdom
26 Apr 22
I think small talk is the lubricant of day-to-day life. The sort of thing you say to people when you are all waiting for a bus or at some sort of social function or something like that, when you chat about the weather and other relatively non-divisive topics. I think it would be a bad idea if we just jumped straight in with 'So what are your views on the existence of God?' or something like that (although it would certainly get you noticed).
On the other hand I don't need that kind of chat from shop assistants or waiting staff, I find it annoying if they ask about my day, as if they care!
