i'm going through hard moments in my relationship...go on with it?

@cristi20 (2139)
Romania
December 1, 2006 9:32am CST
I have spent wonderful moments with my girlfriend.But now there is a period that we are getting through when we are argueing in every ocassion we have.I hope that this period will pass and have a general discussion on what we are each other disposed to do.But every time i had the oportunity to talk about our relationship she starts discussing so deeply about other problems and future plans.I share my thoughts and I agree to view future plans but it's too early to generalize and those are kind of problems which led to conflicts all time.What do you advise me?
14 people like this
102 responses
@moneyseeker (1024)
1 Dec 06
Every relationship has its ups and downs. It all depends if you love her. If you do then I think you have to talk it through and find out what is behind the problem. Good luck.
• India
1 Dec 06
yes this guy is absolutely right
1 person likes this
@sibayou (361)
• Indonesia
2 Dec 06
I agree with your opinion. Be wise.
1 person likes this
@lucy02 (5017)
• United States
1 Dec 06
If you are in love with her, yes, hang in there. Arguments happen all the time. That's just part of a close relationship. Weigh this against the love you feel for her and that will tell you what decision to make.
2 people like this
@cristi20 (2139)
• Romania
1 Dec 06
thank you for your advice.Arguments lead to nothing good and hope this is something useful in our relationship.
1 person likes this
@mEzoEb (3)
• India
2 Dec 06
It's a tough situation.. Belive me.. I've been through it.. I know exactly how u feel when ur partner starts thinking about only the future.. It's not bad mind u.. But then if one is obsessed then it interferes with the thing u wanted to do the most... being together I mean.. It only shows insecurity and lack of trust somewhere.. I broke up.. And she 2 saw that it wasn't gonna go anywhere
2 people like this
• United States
1 Dec 06
Nothing in life that is worth anything comes easy. Relationships are full time jobs and you have to give and take at different times.
2 people like this
@exchange (949)
• Australia
2 Dec 06
dump her she wants to fully control the relationship dont say anything to her just leave or change the locks and put all her stuff outside
1 person likes this
@aikalog (139)
• Philippines
2 Dec 06
ohh... that would definitely complicate things.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Dec 06
I have to answer this one, simply because I am one who 'put up with it' for the longest time and ever 'knew' it was going to get better. I have to tell you, if it's this much work before you've even committed with marriage and bills and kids and all the stuff that comes with a relationship that has been built throughout the years I really don't think it's worth the hassles. There has to be someone out there that can make you a happier person. Ask yourself if you enjoy this life and want to stay like this forever. If the answer is yes, then put up with what you have and work on it. I'm going to guess the answer is no and the end result, in my opinion, is just going to be too much drama and way too much time of your life spent not enjoying it.
1 person likes this
@cristi20 (2139)
• Romania
2 Dec 06
thanks for your advice
@johnengg (32)
• India
2 Dec 06
talkless but important,let your better half speak just listen and thing upon it and respond else give no respond just be normal.do you know that it is very easy to be different but it is very difficult to be normal. live a normal life .god bless you
1 person likes this
@cristi20 (2139)
• Romania
2 Dec 06
Thanks for your advice and writing the first post for me.God bless you and Merry Christmas!
@TJtwix (49)
1 Dec 06
everyone gets in a rut you both need to sit down and talk calmly and hopefully you can get through it
1 person likes this
@cristi20 (2139)
• Romania
1 Dec 06
thank you for your advice!
• Hyderabad, India
1 Dec 06
if u have problem b/u u n girl friend try to solve the problem
1 person likes this
@cristi20 (2139)
• Romania
1 Dec 06
thank you for your advice!
@cam3leon (427)
• Romania
1 Dec 06
well i sugest to talk to her and tell her how u feel ...why dont u ask her how to make ur relation work better...u should make this discusion with her not with us ...we can give u advance from outside but wont help as the one u can both make togheter
1 person likes this
@cristi20 (2139)
• Romania
1 Dec 06
thank you for your advice!i was so confused this period that many discussions posted here determined me to post my doubts..that's what i had in my thoughts but now seeing so many people sharing my ideeas before would determine me keeping in touch with the suggestions and my true feelings.Thanks
@sunita64 (6474)
• India
1 Dec 06
I feel for some time you two go away from each other so that you might miss each other and then there will be a renewal of the relationship.
1 person likes this
@cristi20 (2139)
• Romania
1 Dec 06
thank you for your advice!
@kokopelli (4842)
• United States
1 Dec 06
it's not the disagreements that would spell whether you have to stay with your girlfriend or not, it's your feelings for her and how you'd like your future with her to be. anything can be resolved if you both would want, if you would be willing to work things out. every person is unique and imperfect, that makes the discord and friction normal, and that's where adjustments and compromise come in. know what you want and examine how you feel, and pray for God's guidance.
@cristi20 (2139)
• Romania
1 Dec 06
thank you for your advice!
@malsun (1528)
• United States
1 Dec 06
take some time off.. get away from each other. i guess you both have told each other what you want - now and in the future, so take some time off to think about all those things. every relationship has to make adjustments and compromises so take stock of how things can go from here for both of you.
1 person likes this
@cristi20 (2139)
• Romania
1 Dec 06
thank you for your advice!
• United States
1 Dec 06
You both may be very stressed out for some reason. Communication is the best thing in any relationship. But all relationships have ups and downs. Take her out somewhere nice, buy her some flowers, and TALK. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@cristi20 (2139)
• Romania
1 Dec 06
thank you for your advice!
• United States
1 Dec 06
Maybe you should talk to your girlfriend about working with the present instead of planning on the future. I mean, seriously, there isn't going to be much of a future if all you are doing is fighting. It is nice to talk to and plan with someone and enjoy the idea of being together for a long term relationship but I've noticed some people are so caught up in the future that they start to ignore things they really need to deal with in the present. Especially fighting in a relationship because that can tear things down fast.
@cristi20 (2139)
• Romania
1 Dec 06
thank you for your advice!
• Italy
1 Dec 06
Hi, don't worry 'cause these moments happen on every relationship. As they come they leave.
1 person likes this
@cristi20 (2139)
• Romania
1 Dec 06
thank you for your advice!
@spcbrass (1192)
• United States
1 Dec 06
I was going through the same thing with my girlfriend about future plans about 5 or 6 months ago. It was causing our relationship to go through a really rocky period. Talk with her and find out what her future plans are. Girls really like to look into the future when it comes to relationships. Perhaps you are resiting some of the things that she wants for the future. I am telling you I went through this exact same experience and after many hours of contemplating things I finally decided to move in with her and things have been great even since.
1 person likes this
@cristi20 (2139)
• Romania
1 Dec 06
thank you for your advice!
• Singapore
1 Dec 06
this is a phase all couples will go through eventually. if you manage to survive this ordeal, your relationship with your girlfriend will undoubtedly reach a new high. i have only 1 word of advice for you.. plan.
1 person likes this
@cristi20 (2139)
• Romania
1 Dec 06
thank you for your advice!
@jediwa72 (204)
• United States
1 Dec 06
You know what...I think every relationship goes through this...maybe this arguing is what will lead to your ulitmate decision. If you love her and your willing to work with her then sit down and just say, I love you and I want to be with you but I can't handle how much we are arguing. Try and get to the root of your arguing together. Sometimes you discover that a chicks got some serious underlying issues as to why she is blowing up at you. Sad but true. Hope this helps.
1 person likes this
@cristi20 (2139)
• Romania
1 Dec 06
thank you for your advice!
• Brazil
1 Dec 06
If you think the relationshipo is worth it, then continue with it, dont give it up. Howver, should you think otherwiis, dontw aste your life trying to make something ork when it isnt making you happy. Have a nice day!
1 person likes this
@cristi20 (2139)
• Romania
1 Dec 06
thank you for your advice.Have a nice day too!