Too Slow
By Darcy Nemo
@YrNemo (20261)
January 15, 2023 8:35pm CST
Called my mother that time for a chat, just in case she felt lonely.
The phone call was progressing very well, with my mother suddenly remembered this person or that person (as she usually did). I let her talk, adding correct replies to make my mother feel better.
She told me again of a case in which a daughter of her newly made friend signed a contract marriage and paid a large sume of money in order to get a green card. Regardless, they still got founded out a decade later, and the young lady was sent back home.
As usual, I added in, 'oh yes, I remeber that case, it happened 30 years ago, is that correct? The poor lady!' (She was unlucky because she still hasn't settled down with anyone yet since.)
My mother suddenly got angry, and mumbled something about only nasty woman would lose her man, and that a good one would stick to her spouse despite whatever it takes, and that a well behaved lady would never end up with two husbands, blah blah blah. (What she said, made me think of an image, where the wife keeps clinging on to her drunken and aggressive husband's leg while his hand was up, ready to strike her again!)
I got frightened then, thinking, 'oh, perhaps she meant me, since I successfully kicked my kids' father out (ages ago) after he began to be too abusive to them.' (but I did it after consulting her, and got her approval! 
)
I promptly said, 'Sorry mom, I must go, I will call again soon...'
---
It took me 4 months or more, to suddenly realized that I couldn't be the target of her scolding, since I never had two husbands... 
I am too slow again, aren't I 
! (But such a relief in a sense!
)
)
I promptly said, 'Sorry mom, I must go, I will call again soon...'
---
It took me 4 months or more, to suddenly realized that I couldn't be the target of her scolding, since I never had two husbands...
I am too slow again, aren't I ! (But such a relief in a sense!)16 people like this
16 responses
@DaddyEvil (137142)
• United States
16 Jan 23
Uhm... has your mother been tested for Alzheimer's Disease? Getting angry and saying things that don't make sense in the conversation are two "markers" for that disease.
That's not rational, thinking a woman should stay with an abusive husband no matter what he does.
You weren't the target of the anger but please think about getting her tested.
3 people like this
@DaddyEvil (137142)
• United States
17 Jan 23
@YrNemo Oh, I see... I'm sorry that happened. I have seen adults do that when they're angry at the world, they take the anger out on the kids. I often thought they should have their kids taken away until they learn how to treat them like kids and not "whipping posts".
Some older adults refuse to admit there's a problem... until something happens and their children can force them to have the tests done. I hope your mom is just having a bad moment or two once in a while.
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (20261)
•
17 Jan 23
@DaddyEvil Definitely so, those bad moments come and go with my mother. I guess we all do that when are older? (too much time to think about the past?)
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (20261)
•
17 Jan 23
It might be a taboo thing with her, that Alzheimer thing. From what I heard, plenty of seniors do that. They will talk to their dear relatives happily, then suddenly they get angry and explode, then forget all about them, until another time. As it is, my mother has often been like that even when she was in her 30s. (We would get tell off even if it was not us who did it!)
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130292)
• India
17 Jan 23
It's time you do not take your mother seriously I mean it When is your next conversation with her? But a conversation with a mother is worth in gold.
2 people like this
@YrNemo (20261)
•
17 Jan 23
@allknowing She was a good mother. I appreciated all the good things she tried to give us.
1 person likes this
@kaylachan (59188)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
16 Jan 23
Does she possibly suffer from Altimersor something?
3 people like this
@YrNemo (20261)
•
17 Jan 23
Don't we all? (re: we have to keep our respects and obligations in checking after the welfare of our elders, and fulfil our duty as a daughter, a niece, a grandchild etc to whoever that relative is...) - They might be weird but we still have to do our obligations, always remember that there was a time, as a child, we did rely on them for our own happiness.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (171464)
• United States
17 Jan 23
You never really know what old people are gonna say
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (20261)
•
17 Jan 23
They are funny almost like a 2 YO at times, in saying odd things. (The difference is, we can tell the 2YO to be quiet, but we can't do that to our seniors .)
.)
@YrNemo (20261)
•
17 Jan 23
We in the family all do our part, in talking, visiting our mother at times. One of my sisters were often in tears whenever she finished with her visiting, why? because she got told off everytime somehow. (NB. My mother used to dote on that sister of mine. My mother has stopped attacking that sister now I heard.)
@YrNemo (20261)
•
20 Jan 23
@LadyDuck 
One of my younger sisters has become blunt like that these days. She used to be scolded lots and lots (my mother likes to use innuendos to tell us off). I noticed lately, she just calmly said, 'mom, which one of us are you attacking now? Just say it straight out and we will leave you with that person so that you two can have your intimate chats' (we burst out laughing while my mother got red in the face, and she stopped, after mumbling, 'I didn't attack anyone!' )
One of my younger sisters has become blunt like that these days. She used to be scolded lots and lots (my mother likes to use innuendos to tell us off). I noticed lately, she just calmly said, 'mom, which one of us are you attacking now? Just say it straight out and we will leave you with that person so that you two can have your intimate chats' (we burst out laughing while my mother got red in the face, and she stopped, after mumbling, 'I didn't attack anyone!' )1 person likes this
@YrNemo (20261)
•
17 Jan 23
I love your direct way. In our family, we tend to just listen, and often think to ourselves, 'what, why am I being involved in this weird talk?' Then respectfully, we will pretend like we must go quick - as in, 'mom, I am cooking something on the stove, it is boiling...' or, 'mom, someone is at the door, so sorry mom, I will talk to you again...'1 person likes this
@YrNemo (20261)
•
17 Jan 23
@RubyHawk She is happy with everything she achieved in the past. These days, she likes gardening, and walking with friends. (She used to kill quite a number of plants in the past, 2-3 decades ago. These days, rare flowers would bloom for her. Quite incredible!)
1 person likes this
@YrNemo (20261)
•
17 Jan 23
You are right. Everytime I called my mother, we would jump from one topic to another. (Until it stops at a certain topic that my mother gets upset about.)
@cacay1 (83237)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
17 Jan 23
your mom could still remember the past and you're part of her recalling 