Well my day was a long crappy day

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I got the phone call I was hoping NOT to get about my appt which was a Ct scan at the local hosp, that WAS sheduled for today but as luck would have it, they canceled it till Jan. I have a REG Dr visit on the 2nd with my in town primary dr for some lab work of some sort at 8 am & fasting FUN FUN I talked to a diabtic cordnator about my sugar & other stuff. So, somewhere down the line B-tween now & the 26th of Jan their going to set me on track to get my sugar in order the 26th I see the MAIN sugar dr, at my local hosp. I would have been on here eariler but after talking to the people I talked to today & focused on what they all said it just boggled my mind on what I HAVE to do to get on TOP of my sugar, I know it's nothing to play around with. I've been home 4 months & they pissed around ALL this time & going to JUMP MY TAIL cause my sugars HIGH I don't think so, & I let them know about it too I'm no dummy. I didn't start doing my research till after I heard I had it & I started digging to find everything I could on the matter but yet how much can you belive what you find on the internet? It's not my fault my sugar is where it is, I'm trying to get it under control, I didn't ask for this, so why is it MY fault? This is what gets me upset & disorentated with this crap. It's bad enough I don't like dr's in the 1st place & I try to be a good paient, but don't put the blame game scaretactic on me & think it's gonna fly cause it's NOT ! ! ! I know it's not good, it's not like I'm not taking this serious cause I AM. They ask if I was getting plenty of excercize, not really when I live in a small trailer & if it's too cold outside I stay inside I do go out to the cabin to feed the fish & check on the dogs. I do have 12 sessions of once a wk therapy for a hr a day then there's days we go shopping I'm all over the place store to store place to place getting stuff done for the day. I just want to get this over with or wake up from this dream I have been in & start over again, & pray it turns out different, So I'm trying to find a diabetics food chart somewhere for me, I need 3 of the same kind. Does any 1 know where or how I can get 1? I know I can get them online but I'm looking for 1 in a store I can get somewhere & maybe have a verity that I can choose from to get the right 1. So there's how my day went today, hope yours went a lot better tomorrow is the phone Dr visit from the main Dr that worked on me, which I WISH I could see him face to face to talk to him. But maybe when I go into Indy I'll get to see him then hopfully I have a few Questions I'd liked answered & see his reaction of what he comes back with (study the doctor) anyway that's it. Give me your feed back on all this, see what we come up with.