Someone who I once felt very close to ghosted me, and I found out he died 3 years ago

@snowy22315 (170401)
United States
April 21, 2024 8:06pm CST
I went looking for his obit, because he wasn't doing very well when I "knew him" and that was several years ago. Needless to say, I found it..and he had died in 2021. His mother has a tribute page set up, and in a way I feel like I should say something..but I was devastated when he ghosted me..it really hurt my feelings. Honestly, I felt emotionally raped. Don't ever ghost someone you were close to..have an honest convo with them if you don't want to talk to them anymore for whatever reason. We never dated or even met, but we had a close relationship online and on the phone too. I would call it a non sexual, but romantic friendship. I could say something nice on the page..but I guess I still don't like the way it ended. I feel sorry for his mom, as he was her only surviving son..but I never met her. I know almost all his relationships with women ended on a bad note. So, I think I am not alone in my complex feelings toward him. Maybe saying something would help me put a period on this..but I don't know. Not sure he deserves it.
20 people like this
18 responses
@Kouponkaren (5495)
• United States
22 Apr
I understand your feelings. Maybe he doesn't deserve it, but if it would help you put closure to the situation, and bring his mom some happiness, it might be a good idea. Totally up to you to decide...just adding my 2 cents!
3 people like this
@snowy22315 (170401)
• United States
22 Apr
Yes, I could say something brief We would see. If I don't, I might keep ruminating about it.
1 person likes this
@kareng (55119)
• United States
22 Apr
I agree with this opinion! If you need to do it for closure, do it!! It is a tough one and I see why you are going back and forth on the decision!
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (49107)
• United States
22 Apr
I’m sorry that this happened to you.
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (170401)
• United States
22 Apr
Thank you. I'm sorry too. I genuinely thought he cared..but I guess he got tired of investing emotional energy in it, and went on to the next shiny thing.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (170401)
• United States
22 Apr
@Tampa_girl7 I know...they really can. Even the good ones have their moments you just want to smack them!
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (49107)
• United States
22 Apr
@snowy22315 People can really suck.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (458976)
• Switzerland
22 Apr
You are so right. I also feel devastated and offended when someone ghost me. There is no reason to behave like that, if there is something wrong, you tell the person and often, it was only a misunderstanding.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (170401)
• United States
22 Apr
Even just I am bored with this relationship and honestly it doesn't suit my needs might be hurtful in the moment, but better than ghosting.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (170401)
• United States
22 Apr
@LadyDuck Beyond rude..it is very painful, if you care at all about the person or the relationship.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (458976)
• Switzerland
22 Apr
@snowy22315 Same as you, I think that ghosting is extremely rude.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (206351)
• Walnut Creek, California
22 Apr
Sorry he passed . Several people thought I had ghosted them when my Facebook account was hacked. Facebook would do nothing to help me restore it. Yep. Facebook changes lives.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (170401)
• United States
22 Apr
I am sure it does, but it didn't have anything to do with FB.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (206351)
• Walnut Creek, California
22 Apr
@snowy22315 My experience did. People thought I was ghosting them when I was not. Is sounds like your friend didn't mean to ghost you. He just happened to die.
1 person likes this
@paigea (35717)
• Canada
22 Apr
I can see why you have mixed feelings about leaving a comment.
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (170401)
• United States
22 Apr
There isn't alot I would feel comfortable saying.
2 people like this
• Cloverdale, Indiana
22 Apr
I've never been ghosted by some 1 so I really couldn't say 1 way or the other what to think or feel or even say for that matter but god does.
2 people like this
@LeaPea2417 (36500)
• Toccoa, Georgia
22 Apr
I understand your feelings. I probably would not say anything.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (170401)
• United States
22 Apr
Yeah, it is a personal preference I guess.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (48526)
• Canada
22 Apr
I am so sorry for him ghosting you and for you finding out of his passing.
1 person likes this
@RasmaSandra (73675)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
22 Apr
Perhaps if you just expressed how you felt during the time you two had a close relationship to make his mom feel good that he did at one time have this with you,
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (170401)
• United States
23 Apr
I am leaning toward not doing anything, but Thanks. I may if the spirit moves me.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (15746)
• Raurkela, India
22 Apr
That's the reason we should be careful before starting a relationship online. This will prevent emotional break down. I totally avoid when people propose me online.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (170401)
• United States
22 Apr
There are no guarantees in life. It can happen offline as well. However, I am sure it is more common online.
1 person likes this
@aninditasen (15746)
• Raurkela, India
23 Apr
@snowy22315 Yes, it does happen as frequently offline as online. Therefore we have to be very careful while getting into a relationship and even friendship
@LindaOHio (157044)
• United States
22 Apr
I'm so sorry he's gone. I hope you can put some closure to the relationship.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (170401)
• United States
22 Apr
It might help. I would rather not think of him again ever.
1 person likes this
@sarik1 (6783)
23 Apr
I understand your feelings. sorry to hear.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (170401)
• United States
23 Apr
Thank you
1 person likes this
@dya80dya (33641)
22 Apr
It's so true. I understand how you felt. I was ghosted too. It's better to be honest and explain that we can't talk anymore.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (170401)
• United States
22 Apr
Ghosting is cowardly.
@grenery8 (2444)
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
22 Apr
ghosting is the worst. the best friend with whom i went to college totally ghosted me after we graduated. i felt horrible for a year or two. it is kind of weird when people set this tribute pages; i like things like this to be private but that's just me. i am sorry for your loss.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (170401)
• United States
22 Apr
I think it brings comfort to those that lost them. Ghosting is the pits. I admit I did do it once to someone, but she was unreliable, and I couldn't take her horrible life decisions. She knew I think on some level they were wrong, but kept repeating the behavior. I should have told her that though.
1 person likes this
@grenery8 (2444)
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
24 Apr
@snowy22315 you are right.sometimes we get tired of constant repeating so,i don't blame you, i would do the same.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (85665)
• United States
22 Apr
If you think it would bring some happiness to his mom, and it won’t hurt you to do it, it might do you both good in the long run. But I wasn’t the one ghosted.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (170401)
• United States
22 Apr
You know they say everyone is in our life for a reason, that it teaches you something about ourself..not sure what his was other than be careful who you trust and give your heart too, because they might just stomp on it and never look back.
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (134527)
• Roseburg, Oregon
22 Apr
It would help you to put closure to the situation.
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (170401)
• United States
22 Apr
Possibly Although it still might be an experience always at the back of my mind.
@just4him (306904)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
22 Apr
I'm sorry he ghosted you. I would leave the obit alone.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (326093)
• Rockingham, Australia
22 Apr
Only you can decide but for me, I'd be leaving it in the past. But it's not my story and I wasn't there. I'm sure you'll make the right decision.
1 person likes this