UNLEARNABLE

@aggiejoe (800)
United States
December 2, 2006 7:31am CST
My youngest son was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago. Well hearing the side effects of the treatments I desided against them. The school offered a alternitive learning class for him. well I went to meet with his special ed teacher the other day for a progress report. His teacher told me (in a rude way)that I was a bad parent for not agreeing to Have him medically treated even though There are severe side effects to the meds they have to treat it. And that with out the treatment my son is unteachable. I totally disagree with him. I don't think any one is unteachable. Well my question is what would you do? I don't want to put him on the meds. because of the health issues with it but am I making the wrong choice? Or is the school just tired of teaching a over active child? I talked it over with my husband and he agrees with me. This teacher is trained to deal with ADHD so why is he now trying to get me to medicate my child? Am I wrong for not wanting My son to have alternate health issues? What do you think Would you treat you child if they were at risk for other health problems?
19 people like this
107 responses
@ru88en (2997)
• Philippines
2 Dec 06
Mom, my advise is to seek second professional opinion, let your child be diagnose. Just remember this, ADHD can never hinder your child to succeed in life. ADHD kids need not to be separated for the regular students. There are interventions to that and you must learn those things. You can even suggest managing techniques you've learned to that teacher. One effective strategy inside the class room is to let your kid sit in front and nearest to the teacher.
3 people like this
@aggiejoe (800)
• United States
2 Dec 06
He has been Diagnosed with ADHD the two docters he has seen advises against meds. Do to the fact they couse severe side effects in most kids. So Thinking about the long term effects I desided not to treat. I have requested for my child to be switched to a new class. But the board of education voted against it. I tried changeing schools but can't because I don't live in that distrect. I tried to home school but the school board put in against me so the state board want let me home school. its just a big fight to try and get him the education I know he can learn. Thanks for yoour reply.
2 people like this
• India
3 Dec 06
Yeah! Thats right
1 person likes this
@manno855 (155)
• India
3 Dec 06
thtaz right
@ebsharer (5518)
• United States
2 Dec 06
my son has adhd and with out his medication he wouldn't learn a thing. he would still be teachable BUT it would take for ever. he is so easily distracted even with the medication i wouldn't want to know what he was like with out it again. i notice the difference if he takes it a a differnt time of the day. you should reconcider puting him on the medication. try it for a couple months as see the difference. the only side effect my son sufferend was loss of apitite and he gained that back in about 3 months.
2 people like this
@koikoikoi (1247)
• United States
3 Dec 06
I would do what these people are doing. They seem they got a good idea of what's going to happen. And they've experienced some positives with their cj=hild learning. I defitnately think you should put him on the medication. Just see the difference and hopefully they'll be positive. It's not your fault he was diagnosed, but it will be your fault if he doesn't learn anything.
1 person likes this
@aggiejoe (800)
• United States
3 Dec 06
Yes but their child may not have the risk factors involved with treatment. My son does. And the risk is too great in my opinion.
• United States
3 Dec 06
Please don't feel bad.. I know what you are going through. I was told that my oldest son has ADD and they wanted to put him on medication. This was about four years ago, and I never put him on the medication because of the side affects and the fact that my son has a slight case of Cerebral Palsey. My son has been doing fine without it. He is doing well in the 6th grade now.. I hope things work out for you and your son.
2 people like this
@aggiejoe (800)
• United States
3 Dec 06
Thank you. I don't like the IDEA of a school giving up on kids who are different just because they can. This is not the first itme they have did it either. There are about 10 childeren in Stinnette Elem. With this problem. I tried to start a patition to have this problem solved but parents of "NORMAL" kids wouldn't sign it because they felt it would cause conflict with their kids education I can't see how but unless you are the parent of a child with this disability you can't understand what it takes to raise them.
• United States
3 Dec 06
I know how you feel my son also has severe ADHD and without his meds he is almost impossible to live with. Fortunately there was a discussion here last night where someone was talking about an all natural vitamin that they could take that would help. I have not tried it yet but I have also heard that you can make ADHD symptoms better bywatchign what your child eats. Not alot of sugars and things of that nature. I wish you good luck, I never wanted to put my child on meds either but when he couldn't make friends because he couldn't be calm around them I decided that it was the only way. Of course back then they didn't tell you about all of these other all natural treatments.
@aggiejoe (800)
• United States
4 Dec 06
I ca understand useing meds in sever cases. A friend of mine whos son is ADHD has a case so sever he tries to hurt himself so she has no choice but to medicate.
@lucy02 (5017)
• United States
2 Dec 06
I would first try alternative treatments. There has been success with meditation, karate, and eye exercises. Try to find a doctor that specializes in this instead of just writing a prescription. I know meditation always helped me with concentration. Lately I've been hearing a lot about karate lesson helping. I guess it teaches concentration too. Also just recently I have read some doctors are convinced ADD has something to do with eye muscles and have found some eye exercises that seems to help them. I'm like you I would only use medication as a last resort.
2 people like this
@aggiejoe (800)
• United States
3 Dec 06
I do little exersizes with him at home and I set aside small amounts of time to hep with homework Not long drwan out expanses. It seems to help. If I just let him work a little at a time he get thing done. I go to school on mondays and get his study guides and he studys for test a few minutes a day and seems to do better in tests. But what really gets me mad is the school telling me my son can't learn I think its not that he can't learn it that they are too lazy to help him learn.
@remaster74 (4066)
• Greece
2 Dec 06
This is what I have read and I transfer it to you: "Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or ADHD is a mental condition that affects especially children and youngsters throughout the whole world. It is estimated that ADHD affects 5% of school-aged children and that is two to three times more seen in boys than in girls. As the illness remains under-recognised, less than half of the affected children and or adolescents receive a diagnosis. As a result, even fewer children receive the appropriate treatment. Left untreated, ADHD can have a negative impact on the wellbeing of a child and his/her family. A child with ADHD who has not been diagnosed and has not been given the right treatment is likely to suffer not only academically, but also emotionally and will experience behavioural symptoms into adulthood. Mostly, ADHD is diagnosed during primary school years. Symptoms of ADHD are present before the age of seven, but can last into adolescence and adulthood. Although symptoms tend to reduce during late adolescence and early adulthood, people do not outgrow ADHD, but they learn to master strategies to compensate for the symptoms. Until now, the causes of ADHD are still not fully understood, but a genetic element may be involved." I think all children then have to take medications. No way I'm going to submit my child to that. I will leave him to grow up in no medications. I believe this: Children that are diagnosed with ADHD are probably the genious children that the world don't wish to have anymore and try to ease their minds. I will have my son tested for IQ when he will be 5 years old, cause when we were last time at the hospital a doctor said that my son probably suffers fromADHD (he was 1 year old then) and I have to give him medication. Another doctor took me aside and told me that this is crap. So, have your son tested for IQ. Maybe you will find he is a genious.
2 people like this
@aggiejoe (800)
• United States
3 Dec 06
I think this is true. I myself have a learning disability but wasn't diagnosed until I was a senior in high school. I have a form of dislexia. Basicly I learn in reverse. AS I see it if you can be tought in reverse then why is the schools now telling me my son is unteachable. Its Very agervateing to know they have already given up on my son and he is only 10.
@suryachalla (1370)
• India
3 Dec 06
I am sure you are aware of various websites that give guidance regarding teaching children with ADHD. For whatever it is worth, lookup this website, where you can find some 'real life'solutions: http://www.westfieldacademy.org/adhd/ Each of the following 'tips' is given elaborately at the above-mentioned website: 1. Making Math Workbooks WORK! 2. Have Them Do Two Things at Once 3. Allow Them to Respond Orally 4. Integrate Motion into Everything You Can 5. Put Up Visual and Auditory Blinders 6. Phind the Phun in Phonics! (And lots of other places) 7. Don't Do Everything in Every Book 8. Give Your Child a Checklist of the Day's Assignments 9. Watch Your Teaching Tempo 10. Forget what others think...SEE THE GIFT IN YOUR CHILD
• India
3 Dec 06
A Child with ADHD - This is a photo of a boy with ADHD being taught geography by a teacher. He needs special education.
All the best to your child!
@sweetdesign (5151)
• United States
3 Dec 06
I applaud you for not putting your son on meds. Kids today are increasingly becoming over medicated. I myself have ADD (without the hyperactivity) and was not diagnosed till adulthood. I was labeled "Does not meet her potential" in school. I was bored in class and easily distracted. I personally took my child out of public schools and homeschool her because she is dyslexic and they did not (still do not) recognize this as a learning disability and would not help her and she kept falling further and further behind. Each parent needs to make a decission that is right for thier child. Lots of times teachers push for medication because they can't handle all the kids they label as "ADHD" of course the bad thing is yes the kids are more managable in class but by the time they get home and for the rest of the night they are in melt down mode. I seen this a lot as a sunday school teacher in our kids at church on Wednesday nights and Saturday nights 9 out of 10 were on meds. and into full blown melt down by the time they got to church. There are ways to help children to focus and control their own behavior without meds. Bravo for being a parent who won't buckle to a rude teacher.
1 person likes this
@aggiejoe (800)
• United States
3 Dec 06
I agree we as parents manage their behavier at home and I think the schools need to under stand I can not have my sons health affected just to make their jobs easier. I also agree that they don't see ADHD as a disabiliy or dislexia. I myself am dislexic it a degree. I had a hard time in school also. and after school my parents would sit down with me and reteach me what the scholl tried to teach me. My parents didn't have a college education so home schooling wasn't an option for them and my son now has no choice but to attend the same school system that i did. Because I am a student myself they don't seem to think I coule teach him at home saying I was too wraped up in my education. But I do it after he get home now it wouldn't be any different to me. My Boys come first and my Professors understand that they all have worked with me so I can help my son. They even volenteered to help tutor him. I attend the best school. And I just want my son to have the education I am recieveing. Is that so wrong?
• United States
3 Dec 06
I have a brother & a husband who were ADHD as kids. They never had meds & never went to special classes. I'm not entiresly sure what my MIL did for my husband when he was a child, but I know my mom went the natural route. My brother had to eat a little differently than other kids (mainly a lot less sugar & no food coloring they seem to trigger the problem). But in my opinion, that's better than dealing with all the side effects of the meds. I agree with you on not having your child on meds. Well, this is just my input. Hope it helps. :)
1 person likes this
@aggiejoe (800)
• United States
4 Dec 06
Its a hard choice no matter how I look at it But I think he is teachable and as long as he isn't hurting hisself or others then why should I go against my beleafs just forthe schools sake?
@haxor111 (2234)
• India
3 Dec 06
sry these r not my wordings first, i don't think it was right for the teacher to label you as a bad parent. that comment was totally uncalled for. second, i did some research to be able to respond to your discussion, and i came upon certain sites that believe ADHD is not really a disease, but a multi-million dollar fraud...so you might have made the better decision when you opted not to put your child on medication.
1 person likes this
@shirgie (231)
• United States
3 Dec 06
My story might not be applicable because my son's case was milder than your son's sounds. However, I did have ADD issues to deal with on a lesser scale. My son is very bright as your son may well be. His IQ was tested at 129 with the assumption that up to 16 additional points were being masked by a learning differential (same thing as learning disability except you have to have a 10 point spread on some data where my son had a 9 so it is called differential instead of disability). He was doing poorly in school and terrible taking necessary items back and forth. He also could not read on his grade level. Ritalin made him quieter and more subdued but didn't help his performance at school. I read some books about different kinds of minds and decided that the meds were the wrong thing to do for us. After 4 years of homeschooling (partly cyberschooling), my son is back in school for 9th grade and on the academic fast track. He now reads at post highschool level and has for several years now. I guess all this is to say that parents who care, research and do whatever necessary to help their children usually know best. I don't understand why you aren't allowed to homeschool but cyberschool is school at home but considered public schooling. So you should be allowed to cyberschool. My son bowls with a kid with many disorders ADHD, obsessive compulsive and a few more labels who's mother cyberschools him. I guess they can have IEP's just like reg. public schools. Another quick piece of advice is to find out what positive thing most interests your child. If he is interested enough it something, he may read about it. I purchased whatever books my son wanted to read and a once reluctant reader now begs me for books that interests him. Even if at first he won't read about something, doing something interesting and productive is a really good start. Some say that many who watch a lot of tv and play a lot of video games have ADHD like symptoms. My son did watch too much tv and played too many video games. It was excessive. He still enjoys t.v. and video games but with limits imposed and other interesting things to fill his life. Follow your heart and may you be bless richly for taking great care of your child. Please note that I am just trying to relate our story in case any of it will help you. I know that each case is different and each child responds differently. I do think all kids respond well to praise though. Never let the children forget how wonderful and special they are.
@TiffanieC (827)
• United States
3 Dec 06
UGH! I posted a big long response but for whatever reason when I hit send it wouldn't go through and take me to the next page, I tried a couple of times. In short.. I don't think this is right of her and I think you should report her! Also, check out maybe putting your son on a gluten free diet. This might help! Try it for a few months and see if it helps. Just make sure you research it really well because there is hidden gluten in so many things. You need to learn about the different ingredients and print them out so when you go to the grocery store you'll know.
1 person likes this
• Canada
3 Dec 06
Im not sure what medication they are wanting to put your son on but i can tell you i didnt have any adverse reactions to ritalin myself. Actually it made me want to study and i ended up validictorian of my senior class. I agree with you though, it should be your choice and not the teachers as to how to treat your son's medical conditions
1 person likes this
@Horizons (54)
• United States
3 Dec 06
While the special education teacher may be trained to deal with ADHD and other learning disabilities, they are not necessairily equipped to deal with severe emotional, psychological, or behavioral issues (or other factors particular to your child). There are a number of different placement options (these will vary from state to state and even among school systems within a single state) for a student with ADHD. For instance, sometimes a resource or Comprehensive Development Classroom is appropriate, while other times a student with the exact same category of disability (label) may need the services of a behavior classroom. I have seen cases where a student really needed the behavior placement - they were literally keeping the other students from learning - as the resource room teacher, while a wonderful teacher, just doesn't have either a classroom or academic program designed to meet behavioral needs. I am not saying these are the challenges faced by your child, just pointing out that a secondary disability or other factors may influence the ability of the current teacher to instruct your child. If behavior is the issue - which it frequently is - they may believe the medication will make all the difference. Indeed, such treatments have worked wonders for many students. But it is still your choice; Your child may not benefit or may suffer worse from potential side effects. I will second the advice of pervious posters, and suggest you may want to consider trying the medication - only for a trial basis - at some point to see if it makes a significant difference. This may be over the holiday break or summer vacation when you can keep close watch on them for any problems (and observe any benefits). If it goes well, you may wish to continue the treatment. If not, then you will know for sure how to answer the school when they suggest medicating your child.
@Island_Geko (3760)
• Canada
3 Dec 06
Support ADD/ADHD - Support ADD/ADHD
No, witht he advances in medical research today you can look into other means to helping your son, like alternative treatments. Diet is a main cause of symptoms in ADD/ADHD, there are key vitamins, oils, and minerals that he may be missing in his diet like omega 3,6,9 http://www.cspinet.org/diet.html is and example of the sites I have found to help you for this issue. Good luck and I hope you find a way to help your son.
1 person likes this
@lexid12 (68)
• United States
3 Dec 06
If the special ed teachers have tried their best to teach him without meds and it hasn't worked, I think it's time to try the medication. Yes, they are trained for this but there's only so much they can do. I am a teacher and I also have a 13 year old step son with ADD. Not everyone has the "possible" side effects, and if he does, he could always be switched to a different one. It could make a HUGE difference in your childs ability learn and I think you may want to give it a shot. No one says you have to continue forever, what have you got to lose to try it? I have seen lots of kids greatly succeed after starting meds. It's a medical condition and should be treated as such.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Dec 06
My oldest he is ADHD also and he's on the meds. but that's because he doesn't live with me right now if i had the time and patience to deal with him one on one and if he lived with me! He would not be on them! He has a 5 yr. old sister and a 4 month old sister! So it's really hard to be on top of him with everything and make seperat meals because alot of the foods he shouldnt have, they have to be on a strict diet. I know that the meds do have some side effects but he has normal classes he does great in school! No, I don't think your wrong for wanting the teacher to teach! he has gone to school to do that, it is his job to deal with these kids!
1 person likes this
@gramaj (451)
• United States
3 Dec 06
I think you r right. Do not give him Rx just cuz the teacher wants him in a daze. I have had to deal with the same thng. I did place my son in the alternative class in the last couple years of school. The teachers were capable of dealing with the ADHD students at a younger age. Maybe it was society that changed. I am sure many of our classmates ahd some form of ADD/ADHD. Our teachers handled it. We did the Rx for ashort time. Did not like the way my son was ina daze. Actually these children are very smart and jsut need more structure. Which the teachers do not want to deal with. I think it is the teachers today, they have a hectic lifestyle and want our children to sit down and not be heard. Well, are they not the instructers for the children with Add? The school should take a look at that clasroom it may not be the kids. Do you have any parents in your community that homeschool. My sister does and I think that is a good alternative. Some towns have many homeschool students and they even get together and have fieldtrips and interact with others.. more a one on one. And to answer the ? I did see a change in my son's (and others)appearence and habits with the meds. My son is over 21 and still very hard to deal with.. But that is life. I think if they are medicated all the time then, well when do they learn to deal with life? I do know people that have kids on RX and do not want others to know.. That is a shame..I say it is your life and your son. Seek other alternatives. Medication is not always the answer.. These teachers and school staff do not have PHD after thier name... Good Luck
@Aali311 (6127)
• United States
3 Dec 06
I would do the same thing you are doing, I would not put on son on meds and if the teaches are being stupid and not doing their jods I would pull my kid out of the school and homeschool him myself, I know someone with a similar situation and she took her child out of the school. I would have to take the time out to deal with my child myself if the teachers didn't want to.
1 person likes this
@malsun (1528)
• United States
3 Dec 06
I recommend taking a second opinion about the meds. I dont know if you have heard of alternative medical practices like reiki, ayurveda etc. I am not sure if there is a definite cure for it in these therapies but there is no harm in trying. I will try to find some information and pass it on to you. meanwhile if the teacher is rude, i am sure you can complain to the higher authorities and change the teacher..
1 person likes this