Everything you've wanted to ask a lesbian, but never knew a lesbian to ask!

@Pigglies (9340)
United States
December 5, 2006 12:40pm CST
When I've come out to some of my friends, they started with "Congrats!" and then came the, "I have so many questions!" Apparently, a lot of people don't have lesbian friends (or don't know that they do). People seem to have a lot of questions for lesbians. And I think a lot of dismantling prejudice has to do with informing people. So this is the thread for asking questions! And please, other lesbians feel free to join in and help me answer them. I don't have all the answers, I just wanted to get the discussion going. :)
4 people like this
7 responses
• United States
11 Dec 06
Please don't be offended by this... Why do some lesbians want girls that look and act like men? The times I was with a girl I wanted a feminine girl. If I wanted a man I would go for a man. I wonder the same thing about guys that like ultra-fem girls. Just curious.
2 people like this
@Pigglies (9340)
• United States
11 Dec 06
Don't worry, I'm not easily offended! I think everyone has different tastes. Some women want a more masculine woman, but still a woman, not a man. I've heard from friends who dated butch women, that they are butch as far as dressing and activities, but still feminine in the bedroom and not like a man. I personally am usually attracted to more feminine women, but not too feminine. I don't really like the whole high heels, make up, and skirts thing. My girlfriend might accuse me of being a bit butch, but not too much.
3 people like this
• United States
30 Dec 06
It's all personal taste. Some women like the masculine image, but not the masculine plumbing. ;) I'm not particularly attracted to masculine looking lesbians, but I have a few friends who are. And they just say they like the look. :D
3 people like this
• United States
27 Feb 07
I am so glad that you started this discussion because I've always wondered, but never knew (thereby assuming a lot of things - that's where misinformation comes in). Thanks for your openness, honesty and willingness to share!
@jen20619 (1302)
• Ireland
30 Dec 06
Yes I have had lesbian friends and I do have pals that are bi.Its a very common thing for women to like other women.Its a very high percentage.Ive had straight friends that have become bi.
2 people like this
@Pigglies (9340)
• United States
31 Dec 06
I think a lot of women are bi. I get a lot of people asking me how I knew because they aren't sure themselves. But that's a really hard one to answer.
2 people like this
@misskatonic (3730)
• United States
30 Dec 06
No questions, obviously, but I wanted to share with you the most hilarious question I was ever asked. A friend of mine, upon finding out I was a lesbian, responded with: "Wait, you mean lesbians are real?" He thought they were just something made up for television. I never get sick of telling that story.
2 people like this
• United States
30 Dec 06
I don't have any questions (as I know a few gay people) but I love the thread. It's very interesting - as your threads are. And I totally agree that most straight woman (not so sure about the men) do have bi tenedecies. Even myself. Michelle Rodriguez is yummy!
2 people like this
@freak369 (4702)
• United States
3 Mar 07
Do you have 'gadar'? I mean can you pick up a vibe from someone and tell what their orientation is? I am bi and there are times that I am right on the money when it comes to what people are into and then there are times that I am way off base ... but in that case I sort of think they are lying about their personal life or desires.
1 person likes this
@Pigglies (9340)
• United States
3 Mar 07
That is an excellent question! When I first came out, I asked my only lesbian friend how I would possibly know which women were straight, and which weren't. She said I would just know. So in a sense, I suppose that's gaydar. However, I think of it more like a chemistry thing... like you can tell when someone might be into you and you're into them. But I can't spot every lesbian there is. Sometimes I've had suspiciouns though, and then I'll see the rainbow triangle on their backpack and be more sure. :) And then there are times when my girlfriend and I are out, and either a waitress or some store associate will be helping us, and we'll both just having a feeling about her. But it can be hard to tell. So I wouldn't say we exactly have a special gaydar or something. Although, I have never asked out a straight woman on accident, so I guess in some sense, I'll know before I feel attracted to them.
@lauriefnp (5113)
• United States
12 Jan 07
Great discussion! I am heterosexual but am close to a lot of gay men and lesbians due to my work in the HIV field. This is a great way to openly and honestly discuss the issue and hopefully to eliminate even a small amount of the discrimination against lesbians. You have a great style of writing an responding- did you ever consider writing some sort of e-book and selling it? I'll bet that you could make some serious money, and it would do a lot of good for a lot of people. It could even be based on some of the comments and questions that you have received here and from your friends. Either way, Congrats! and Good Luck- Wishing you happiness!
1 person likes this
@Pigglies (9340)
• United States
12 Jan 07
Thanks! I've actually considered writing ebooks before, but I wasn't really sure how to get into it. I currently write a lot of articles on Associated Content (I started a thread about it and have a link to all of my articles there). I'd love to write something longer sometime and sell it, either as an ebook or printed book.
1 person likes this
@beckyomg1 (6761)
• United States
30 Dec 06
I think you did a great thread, i have no questions to ask though, i just think that it is great thread if others want to ask.
1 person likes this