Mylot friends - is it all one sided friendship?

@ssh123 (31073)

India

December 8, 2006 6:42am CST

When mylot introduced the "Friends", more than 250 people made requests to be my friends. I blindly accepted all of them. I could not handle all of them in the sense, I could not give response to their discussions. PMs were plenty. Emails were crossing 250 per day. Most of the day is gone only to attend to such things. I reduced the friends list from 250 to 90. None of these people contacted me after becoming a friend, though I was responding to their discussions. Now I reduced the friends list to 45. What is the purpose of friends? Only I have to respond to their discussions? Answer their queries sent through PM? From last one week I am concentrating on discussion topics which have not received any response. That seem to be better than boasting of having so many so many people behind me. Is it like lion leading 100 sheeps?

2 people like this

38 responses

@euniceeleanor (5967)

• Singapore

8 Dec 06

i understand your frustration...i've tried to delete but more came...and i just gave up and chose to ignore that posted really silly discussions. but there are some friends who may not respond to my discussions a lot, but i will keep them as i enjoy their discussions ;D but then, i hope you are not offended, but some of your discussions are really very very thought provoking and some of the members (or your ex-friends) may not be able to understand your discussions at all....they want to respond..they just dont know how :D

1 person likes this

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

8 Dec 06

I say it with flowers - Photographed at Mysore floral show

Do you think my discussion topics are so difficult to understand. I go out of the way to give explanation for a saying and make it as simple as possible. The point I am driving home is when these 'friends' circle was not there, many of the discussions of mine received 1000 responses, 800, 700 like that. I for one feel that I should not keep the members idle. I should respond, they should respond, I should contact them throug PM and they should reciprocate. Otherwise, it becomes more meaningless - photo collector, I become. Thanks for your understanding, interesting response

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

8 Dec 06

Yours is the best response for this topic. Congratulations.

@euniceeleanor (5967)

• Singapore

12 Dec 06

hehe..thanks for the best response..i hope i dont offend by saying that your discussions are very hard to understand...but it's very very thought provoking but i like it! keep up the good work!

• India

8 Dec 06

yes i too added blindly but no one is contacting .only one of the member in my friends list is contacting from time to time

1 person likes this

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

8 Dec 06

Thanks for sharing your views with me.Thanks for the response too. What are you going to do with album of photographs now?

@LotSelf (1508)

• India

8 Dec 06

wild parakeet at kaziranga - alexendria parakeet at kaziranga world heritage site

yes ssh...its the same thing which happened 2 me also...nobody bothers here for anyone,sometime i feel like delete all of my so called friends.PPl here only boast their profile image only...you are so good at opening so many interesting subject here but respondses...very poor.A pix for you buddy

1 person likes this

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

8 Dec 06

Thanks for your nice picture. I am glad your views are like my views and thanks for sharing my pleas. I do not feel bad if the responses are not coming through. In fact I am so happy (many a times you have responded) I have reached 1000 responses (alarm clock) 750 (water) 600 (haircut) like many of my discussion topics have crossed more than 300. That has given me a lot of satisfaction. Thanks for your kind response.

@peizli (1000)

• Australia

8 Dec 06

Well then take control and be more selective. I know it sounds awful but look at their profile, see if you actually have anything in common and take it from there. Simple really.

1 person likes this

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

8 Dec 06

It is a good suggestion. Thanks for your response. I shall do that from now on. Profile given does not mirror the personality.

@vssornavel (978)

• India

8 Dec 06

y are you get so many friends request how long u r in mylot

1 person likes this

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

8 Dec 06

I am here from 1th August 2006. I have posted 7589. the requests for friendship are pouring in everyday, but I am not accepting it, because I cannot do justice by accepting them as friends. Thanks for your response.

@wasim989 (2298)

• India

8 Dec 06

Yeah I think making friends here is like just saying hii to a stranger because these mylot friends are not real friends and many of them are just here to earn instead of looking for some cool friends so that they can share their interests...........

1 person likes this

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

8 Dec 06

giraffes at Mysore zoo - Photographed at Mysore zoo

You said it so well, it concretised my feelings about these friends. Of course there are two to five friends who are worthy associating. Thanks for your response.

@abhiroop85 (2826)

• Scottsdale, Arizona

9 Dec 06

god knows,i really dont know,do wutever you want,but onething,your earning sud not go down,jus dassit

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

9 Dec 06

Thanks for your response and sharing the your views.

@sherinek (3320)

• United States

11 Dec 06

I'll tell you a secret. I also did the same to some in my friends' list. Another secret. I have not switched on all friends, only the people who are very close to me. That way, I receive only the discussions from my closest friends. I also have felt that its useless to have a lot of friends. I am very happy with the few I have.

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

11 Dec 06

Thanks for the tips. Thanks for the response too. Now the number of friends I have is 15 and that is sufficient. You did not indicate when you will be off from mylot for chirstmas? Exact date?

@Sailor (1160)

• United States

10 Dec 06

Well, keep me on please. We are in the same business, and I do respond back! Just that here in the U.S., since I am an owner operator I don't get on the computer all of the time. And you can tell by your activity today, I do catch up. Anyway I have experienced the same problem/delima. I have one person that I excepted as a friend before reading any of his posts. When I read some of his posts, it was aimed at getting kids to be his friend. I didn't know if this was a language barrier or what, so I had 2 ask someone else to read some of his msg's. They came back w the same feeling. This is to say, you must also check who you are accepting and make sure you are compatible, and comfortable with that persons type of discussions.

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

10 Dec 06

You are always my friend. YOur name has not been deleted and will not be deleted. Thanks for your response.

@nanhegujral (4632)

• India

9 Dec 06

You have made a very right point that even if someone has more than 20 friends it very difficult to respond everyones discussion.

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

9 Dec 06

Thank you very much for sharing our views and thanks for your response.

• India

9 Dec 06

I think u made a mistake in choosing so many friends in one go. U must select friends those are having common interests or add value to your own interest. Correct me if I am wrong.

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

9 Dec 06

You are very right. Thanks for the suggestion. With all the suggestions I have received, I shall reorganize the whole thing. Thanks for the response.

@snnygrover (953)

• India

9 Dec 06

i think you are right. its no point making friends if you cant reply them. i also have a lot of friends but still i dont have time to reply to them all. also some of them i reply but they dont reply back.

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

9 Dec 06

You said it right. Thanks for sharing your views with me. Thanks for the response too.

@cdushyanth (24)

• India

9 Dec 06

i too have friends in mylot who r one sided... im waiting for two sided friendship...!!!

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

9 Dec 06

That is very good. Thanks for sharing your views with me. Thanks for the response too.

@nidahali (446)

• Pakistan

9 Dec 06

I'm new here so my opinion doesn't count that much. Stil I've met only two people here who seem to be nice. They responded to my discussion before anyone else and as a thank you, I responded to thiers but I know I can do this because I've got only 2 people on my list and it's gets harder and harder when the list grows. I believe we should all try to help and reply each other as much as possible in this way we're not only helping ourselves but others too.

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

9 Dec 06

What you have said happens theoretically but not in practice. Doesn't matter. You will realize as the days grow by. Thanks for your interesting response.

@nithinchinni (2307)

• India

9 Dec 06

no man ..........dont think like that .but your frineds are like that i think.

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

9 Dec 06

Thanks for your advise and thanks for your response.

@margieanneart (26423)

• United States

9 Dec 06

I had the same problem. I had over 1000 people that requested my friendship. I deleted almost all of them, and only have about a dozen now. I try to answer most of their posts, and they do the same to me. So dear, you might want to just keep the people that really do share with you, and add others if you feel that they would be fun to converse with or be friends with. Good luck. I'll add you to my friend. Okay?

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

9 Dec 06

Thanks for sharing your views with me. I also liked the approach you have adopted. From 250, I have brought it down to just 15. I think that should be sufficient. You are welcome to add my name as your friend.

@alienstar (5142)

• India

9 Dec 06

Yes..making more friends is actually useless as you also might have found out now.Most people are selfish and look into their things first .....they want to grow and they don't need others to grow.So, making useless friends is really frustrating and i can understand your frustration as i also came through such a phase....be carefull in choosing a friend

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

9 Dec 06

Thanks for your excellent advise and sharing my views.Thanks for the response too. I shall reorganise my strategy.

@subhadiproy (847)

• India

9 Dec 06

ferns are theer in my list also... but none bothers to reply back...gues they are here to earn moeny only.

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

9 Dec 06

You have found the truth. Thanks for interesting response.

@gadituzair (985)

• Pakistan

9 Dec 06

ya thats true but what i personally feel is that...... There are very few people on mylot who enjoy "only one forum",but most of then are those who usually get themselves involved in more than 2-3 forums so they are so busy that they have no time for the friends...... Its hard to accept that today in this world the life is so fast,people have no time for looming after 250 friends,even 25 friends.... sincerely i have some 2 very very close friends and some 20-25 friends but i have no time to see them!

friends not foes

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

9 Dec 06

YOu suggestions are very practicle and you have explained the facts. Thanks for your response.

• India

9 Dec 06

250 its a big number,handling these many friends is difficult but while accepting the request u must have chosen from them.

@ssh123 (31073)

• India

9 Dec 06

I did not know in the beginning how the mechanism works. Now I know of it, I am handling it with absolute peace of mind. Thanks for sharing my views and thanks for the response.