Joke - How to Shower

United States
December 11, 2006 10:10pm CST
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror; make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on bed. Have a great day! And, "woo woo"!!!
2 people like this
9 responses
• United States
15 Dec 06
Hhahaha, so funny, and so true. My hubby and I got a good laugh from it. Thanks for sharing that. Have a good evening.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Dec 06
Love to bring laughter to people....need a good laugh.
@brendalee (6084)
• United States
12 Dec 06
Thanks for sharing that. It was very funny and oh so true. I can relate to many parts of that joke.lol.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Dec 06
And so can my husband!
@Polly1 (12650)
• United States
12 Dec 06
That is so funny, thanks for the laugh. woo woo.
• United States
13 Dec 06
I snickered on that one. Hubby looked at me funny, he knew what I meant.
@stailgate (2364)
• United States
21 Dec 06
I love this!! I have read allot of jokes, but this is the first that I laughed out loud!! I love this. Your jokes are the best. GREAT!! thank you again for sharing this with everyone!!
1 person likes this
@Lydia1901 (16354)
• United States
14 Dec 06
Wow, that's something alright. I like it.
1 person likes this
@kids91911 (4366)
• United States
12 Dec 06
That is very funny.
1 person likes this
• India
26 Dec 06
its kinda funny
• United States
23 Dec 06
lol... cute!
@ricky1209 (1677)
• India
23 Dec 06
Teacher to student- U shuld aim for 90% marks Student- i will score 100% teacher- kyu mazak karte ho!! Student- mazak shuru kisne kiyaa!? Mad