denied visitation by childs parent

May 27, 2006 10:09am CST
My ex and I have 2 children 15 & 14. We have joint custody. Last night I Wwas told by him to pick my son up at 5pm at home. At 6:00 I left because my ex was not home and would not answer his cell phone.. The local police said there was nothing they could do, except go back to court. I already have a custody order so why should I pay for another one, when it can't be enforced anyway
1 person likes this
12 responses
@Andy77 (432)
• United States
1 Aug 06
Start keeping careful records (date, tiime, what happened) of everything your ex does that is contrary to the custody order. You may have to go back to court and request that child exchange be made at a local police station. (Your ex. probably won't want that.) Don't try to question the kids, but listen closely to everything they say and write down anything that indicates that your ex is drinking, not home with them, fostering them off on relatives, not picking them up from school, etc. In the future, why not tell him to pick them up and drop them off? If he's not home when you arrive, wait 15 minutes, leave, and when he calls you, tell him he'll have to bring them back because you used all your gas up on the first trip.
1 person likes this
@ossie16d (11827)
• Australia
4 Oct 06
A lot depends on whether or not he does this frequently or it is a one-off event. I do agree with others though that you must keep records of everything and that includes phone records that you tried to call your ex. Good luck and hope it goes well for you in the future.
• United States
24 Feb 11
I do realize your discussion is five years but can be searched at any time and your discussion appears to be very common even today five years later. It appears that since there was not speaking of child endangerment and or kidnapping so they simply find your situation to be that of domestic dispute. Shame though as sometimes instances like this lead to kidnapping which is unfair to the child. So I do hope you contacted you attorney as you do have rights and your attorney can put an emergent court date so an injunction can be put forth. However, you do have to substantiate that it was not simply lack of loss of timing. At any rate I do hope that you and your ex resolved the issues either route and are able to see you children. My best intentions and wishes to you.
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
Well, I really think it's really hard to be in such a situation but all I can say is that maybe you have to seek legal advise from your lawyer and plan wisely your next move. Just don't give up on your kids.
• Canada
8 Jan 07
Custody and visitation can be such complicated issues! donnak, I don't have a good solution to offer beyond what other members have mentioned already so I don't want to repeat those... but I do have one idea. Do your kids have cell phones of their own? Or even one that they can share when they aren't with you? The reason I ask is that you said your ex wasn't home and would not answer HIS phone. If your son had a phone during this situation, perhaps you could have called him directly and at least been able to find out where they were? I have "pay as you go" phones for both my kids and they have each had one since they finished elementary school. I can't tell you how much of a blessing those phones have been, just for giving me a little more peace of mind. Just a thought I wanted to offer to you... and good luck with your ex -- he sounds difficult.
• India
8 Jan 07
cell phone and email chating uses
@Saulovp (196)
• Brazil
17 Dec 06
Funny Girl - Funny Girl
oh it's no cool man:O
@Mommamea (1215)
• United States
27 Nov 06
That is the pitts. I went through that many times. It would seem if you have a court order for joint custody the authorities should help to inforce it. I hope things work out for you and he follows the order. If he doesn't then I would go back to court and have him charged with the court fees as well.
• United States
27 Nov 06
ohhh what a jerk~ Did u call him or find out where he was? why he wasnt there?? and the Police should have doen soemthing..u need to get a lawyer and tell him what the police said and tell him they wouldnt help..its there duty toget involved with court ordered things..and your right..u shouldnt have to pay for another one..get an attorney and see where you stand.,.good luck!
• India
21 Nov 06
sorry cant help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@Theresam (1181)
• United States
26 Oct 06
I am sorry. Have you heard back. As other have said I would start documenting.
@scooter1024 (1243)
• United States
21 Oct 06
Unfortunately that is the way it works. I have sole custody of mine and he has visitation. I have to let him have them when its his time but I cant make him come and get them when its his time. I can take him back to court but nothing will get resolved. I feel they should enforce this but you cant make someone take their kids and love them. Wish we could.
• United States
27 May 06
I would suggest calling an attorney if you don't already have one and telling them of your situation. Most of the time you will have a 30 min consult with them for free or else you could call the Family Courts and talk to someone there. Be sure you document everything, time, date who you talk to, your conversations with your ex and so on. Believe me, I know that everything you write down will help. Just don't drill your kids for any information when you do see them. They will tell you things when they are comfortable. Good luck!