is that really what you're wearing

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I was recently at Knott's Berry Farm with Midget. The weather was good as it usually is for Southern California, past the blisteringly hot days of mid summer, but still warm enough to be wearing clothing that was somewhat revealing. The amusement park adheres to a dress code, so there weren't people with any naughty bits hanging out, but I did notice a trend. I had thought that the low rise jean was on the out. I'm not a subscriber to Cosmo or anything, but I could have sworn that I'd heard it being said somewhere that the waistbands of women's jeans were going to be moving a little further north. I guess I was wrong. Everywhere I turned, I was greeted with the sight of jeans that were cut too low and tops that were hiked up too high. Not a big deal if these had been seen on rail-thin women. Low rise jeans really are designed with only the skinniest of skinny in mind. If you have even the slightest amount of meat on your frame, low-rise jeans are going to squeeze said meat into an unflattering display of excess flesh. They'll turn you into a "muffin-top."It all made me wonder why so many of us are willing to go along with s**tty fashion trends. Looking at those hips constricted by too tight denim made me think that it couldn't have possibly been comfortable. So why were there so many young (and older) women sporting the look? Because it was fashionable? Because they were trying to impress someone? Because that was what was expected of them to wear to an amusement park?I can't say that I've never been someone who followed fads. When I was in high school, I was quite the little victim of trends. I tended to pick things that were comfortable with me, though. I never had a healthy body image, so catching me in something super-tight wasn't going to happen. My entire senior year was devoted to following the skater-chick guidelines. It was always fun doffing baggy clothing and getting the shocked expression of "Whoa. You have a body."I had a conversation with a friend recently about how following fashion guidelines helps to get you in the door. That being a victim to what society thinks you should be wearing helps you to advance. While I can understand that a lawyer's office isn't going to hire someone who comes in wearing sweats, I can't say that I understand the logic when you apply the rules of fashion to your personal life. My friend was fretting over what he was going to wear to a particular concert coming up. He enjoyed the music but really didn't think he would be accepted as a part of the normal crowd that attends those shows. He was trying to plot out what to wear in order to not stick out or become a sub-conscious target of ridicule. Since I began working with people with developmental disabilities, I have discovered a great deal about myself. From watching how I am accepted by people not for what I look like but for the type of person that I am, I've learned that it really doesn't matter what you wear. You can shoot to impress all you like, and while your labels might keep you from being shut out, they won't necessarily get you accepted. You have to decide for yourself what your motivation behind your fashion is. Are you trying to get people to trust you? Is it for a strictly professional basis? What is it that is making you spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on things that magazines and trends tell you to? Do you really want to go to all that trouble to try and be accepted by people who really don't like you? On a daily basis I am greeted by a group of individuals who hug me, tell me to have a nice day and say "I love you, Zara. You are my friend." These people wear some of the rattiest and out of style clothing that you will ever see. Clothes that can at one glance very easily define them as retarded. But they have learned from the stripping of the bullshit that it is not what a person looks like that makes them. It is what can never be conveyed with the right shirt or the proper pair of shoes. It is the heart. Call me sentimental (no, really… please do. I get tired of being thought of as such a badass) but damned if they're not 100 percent right. Heart is something that you can never fake and you sure as s**t can never dress up. Acting from your heart will always make you fashionable. And it won't cost you a cent.