Alcoholism...
By jdmill83
@jdmill83 (28)
United States
December 20, 2006 6:18pm CST
Ok, I just moved in with my "adopted" mother. She didn't really adopt me or anything but she's kind of taken me in under her wing since I was younger so I'm not sure what to call it. Anyways, she's always said she suffers from alcoholism and due to some unfortunate circomstances I have had to become her roommate when I moved back to my hometown and her and her live in boyfriend parted.
I had no idea that dealing with her alcohism would be so rough. We've talked about getting her help and she says she is ready to do it but turns around and makes lots of excuses. Now, I know anything about alcoholism, but I am assuming it is like any addiction and there will be a million excuses but no actions to help herself?
Does anyone have experience with this? How should I go about helping her? I'd like to get her family together to try and help her, kind of like a intervention, but I'm not really sure how she'll take it. I know her family will be up for it becuase they are very concerned about it.
Any feedback, suggestions, or stories of how you were helped or had helped someone would be great.
8 people like this
23 responses
@caramello (4377)
• Australia
21 Dec 06
This is quite a hard situation that you are in and not being a family member can make it not so easy. Firstly the person has to want to give it up themselves or want to seek help, and while excuses are still being made to do this, the time may not be the right one! Maybe coax her into doing other things with you that preoccupy her so that she is not around alchohol as much. But she really has to want to give it up or do something about it! Good luck!
2 people like this
@jdmill83 (28)
• United States
21 Dec 06
I think her and her boyfriend splitting up was a very good thing. She would have him do all the running for her so that she could sit around and drink, so she has cut back a little bit but nothing to make any sort of difference. It has also forced her to work a few extra hours a week in order to pay the bills, so hopefully that will help as well.
I definetly try to get her out of the house to try and do other things so that she doesn't sit around and drink, but that is a task on its own. I will sure keep trudging though.
2 people like this
@caramello (4377)
• Australia
21 Dec 06
You can only do your best and what a nice person you are to try and help this person in this situation, as I said before it is not easy, but you must look after yourself as well!
1 person likes this
@micheller (1365)
• United States
21 Dec 06
Well I think that the best thing you can do is get the family together and talk about ways that you can all help her. You can also admit her into to rehab if her problem is really serious and she will have no choice but to go.
1 person likes this
@missybal (4490)
• United States
21 Dec 06
I think the intervention is a great idea. But you have to consider you live with her. The question is is it you needing to move in with her or did she need you to move in to help with the bills. If you moved in to help her out because see is having problems then I would tell her no alchohle in the house. Dump it down the sink. Tell her what she is like when she is drunk, the effects on her life and appearance. If she loves you and loves herself she can take it. She needs a wake up call, and if she is a true alcholic she will need to quit completely. Meaning not even a drop can she touch. There is no excuses.
@classy56 (2880)
• United States
21 Dec 06
i have been to a treatment center,only for family week.i learned that i was a enabler.iwent an sign in my ex in a treatment cnt.i called the treatment cnt talk to them,an they sent someone over to talk to him about his drinking an that helped .as a family memeber we really dont know what to say to them ,we make them mad an they will not go.but someone who has been threw it themself knows what to say.call a trtm.cen an see what they can do for you.or AA
@JustSimplyLissa (547)
• United States
21 Dec 06
I'm sorry to say but only those who truly wish to help themselves can be helped. Otherwise your fighting a loosing battle. I hope all turns out ok for you.
@sabrinam (1203)
• United States
21 Dec 06
I think an intervention would be good, they do those so that the person at concern realizes that all those people got together because they care about her and they want to see her succeed in life, if you operate under those pretenses, she can't do anything but be flattered that so many people love and care for her. Look at all the good she's done you, you turned out good I'm assuming to be concerned for her..? Good luck!
@ramonoxido (21)
• Canada
21 Dec 06
hey there,
the problem you are facing is so strong, It requieres a lot of your time, strenght and pacience. Be strong my friend...
If you allow me to suggest something to you, that will be to make her understand that she IS SICK, once you recognize this fact everything else is easier, but my dear this is the colosal almost imposible to achieve part! People that drinks are not open to deal with this fact, so is for family to try to do this...
I hope that I had help a little.
@nhtpscd (1416)
• Australia
21 Dec 06
Sorry to hear I was raised in a family where my family was an alcho. He was actually proud of it. He didn't want hel and eventually the family split. So I now what you are going through. There are a lot of sites out there that you can read that give you tips on how to suggest help to her and coping skills for your family. I wish you luck and that mum wakes up to herself and accepts help.
@Chiriac (286)
• Romania
21 Dec 06
The holidays can be a time of great joy and celebration or a time of great pain, sorrow and depression for anyone. These can be particularly dangerous times for people who are in recovery, especially those in early recovery.I drink wen i need to drink, but with a limit.
@jenbatres (799)
• United States
21 Dec 06
You should offer to go to counseling like AA with her, it is easier with support. She definately needs help or she will continue to live life the way she is. You can also see what kind of support your community offers, check the phone book. If you can't find help anywhere else call your local hospital, the receptionist can give you contacts to call for help.
@michele609 (1687)
• United States
21 Dec 06
My father is an alcholic and we have to deal with this every night but unlike your "adopted mother" he will not amitt that he has a problem, we have tryed to get him help but everytime we talk to someone about it they tell me that there is no help out there until he wants to get help himself so we are going to have to deal with it, I am sorry that you have to go though this and I know how it feels, but there is not much you can do but try and talk to her. Good Luck
@rms2727 (815)
• India
21 Dec 06
if she is badly into it, you will need counselling and outside help. so no matter what excuses she makes you have to make sure you get her out to the counsellor.
secondly getting her family basck can be good or bad, it depends on the kind of relation she has with the family members. so without understanding the cause of her addiction dont get the family involved.
@ais_nedla (162)
• United States
21 Dec 06
here is the rule of the thumb. if you drink alone your a drunkard. but if you drink with friends, you are a social drinker. drinking alone is just sad and disgusting. ive never been a drinker but always make it a point to drink with friends.
