How do you change your Dysfunctional background when you have your own kids?????

Hey Kimster :) Wow, this is a very open-ended question! LOL You don't really mention what is "dysfunctional" in your background, specifically, but I know we all grow up saying that we are never going to be like our parents when WE have kids. Now I realize that half the words that come out of my mouth are my mother's! :) I think what is most important is to recognize the things in your background that hurt you most or caused you the most stress or upset and focus on not repeating those things first. I mean, none of us can be perfect parents... even though we would all like to be. In my case, I was lucky to grow up in a pretty "normal" home... or at least what I considered normal, since there's no real definition for that either. But, the things I remember upsetting me the most were instances where I felt that my parents weren't trusting me or my judgement. My father was very over-protective (I was the older daughter and had to do everything first so I really got the brunt of the discipline and rules compared to my younger sister). So, now that I have young teenagers, I try to remind myself constantly how I felt at their age when my friends were allowed to do things and I wasn't or they could go places and I couldn't. I try to focus on fighting my inner angst over whether or not my kids are going to be safe and do my best to allow them the freedom to grow and become independent. It's a real challenge for me and I know that, sometimes, I fail. I consider my failure to be the times that I am overly heavy-handed and I make the rules to hard to follow. That was what was done to me and I do see myself repeating it, from time to time. Don't like it, mind you, but I do it. Do you have particular issues that you are trying to change from your background that you were looking for people to comment on?

well i put fun in disfunctional