Marriage - Emotion versus compatibility etc

@James72 (26829)
Australia
December 23, 2006 3:12am CST
If your family decided who you should marry using common sense and compatibility to make their decision and not emotion do you believe that the relationship can succeed?
2 people like this
2 responses
@Cannonball (3635)
• France
4 Sep 08
I would say no coz I don't thik we can control this magical thing that two people feel like staying together forever. I had some girlfriends and I know how hard it can be to live with somebody 24/7 when these uncomfortable moment go back again and again
1 person likes this
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
4 Sep 08
I woukld have said no in the past also. But after living in India and seeing how these arranged marriages work I am now far moer open to the concept and definitely believe it can be successful! The "magical thing" you are referring to DOES seem to come eventually to people I know in arranged marriages. The families started with compatability and the rest seemd to just fall into place over time! It has been interesting to see. Thanks for responding.
@SViswan (12071)
• India
29 Dec 06
I believe the relationship would work if both the people involved in this relationship are mature enough to understand that adjustments have to be made and mature enough to communicate properly. But most of the time that doesn't happen. And anyways, I also believe any kind of relationship (even the oe you choose) is a risk. People change...or one of them would change while the other wouldn't...goals in life would change....so many dynamics to be considered. But 2 people committed to the relationship (arranged or otherwise) can make it work.
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
29 Dec 06
Agreed.... A healthy relationship can't exist with only one person! I asked this question because it seems to be an effective means of matchmaking here in India. As a westerner it is difficult to understand. But it seems to work! Thanks for responding!
@SViswan (12071)
• India
31 Aug 08
Thanks for the BR. It works in India because most often than not...the woman has no option of coming out of the marriage if it doesn't work (even with rising divorce rates....not every girl has the courage to get out because her parents wouldn't take her in and she has nowhere else to go....especially if she has no source of income). VEry few parents (I'm fortunate to be from a state where girls are given the freedom...more so because we follow the matriarchal system) look for compatibility when they look for a groom for their daughter....it is usually other factors that decide the match....property and the man's paycheck being the most important ones.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
31 Aug 08
Goodness me! It's like I have stepped into a time machine! lol. You are welcome for the BR; and yes, I have had first hand experience of witnessing the Indian approach to marriage and although in cases it can be a negative thing with people having to stay in bad situations the arranged approach DOES seem to be very effective in many, many instances as well. I never would have believed it if I hadn't seen it for myself to be honest!