What you will do if the family of your husband doesn't like you?

Philippines
December 23, 2006 9:25am CST
I find it hard to to please my in laws and even my mother in law i felt neglected. I did everything to be nice with them but still things didn't work out. My hubby are in difficult situation we had a conflict thru his sister to the extent i almost give up our relationship. It sad to say my hubby chose me rather from his family. Because of this i felt bad and guilty but right now things went better no string attached i believed time can heal the pain.I need some advice how to patch up this personal family feud and to forget those personal grudge. If you were in my side are you willing to forgive and forget? Is it worth it to reunite again? Are we gonna wait for the time can heal the situation?Or I will just ignore them?
3 people like this
50 responses
@sapna1 (41)
• India
26 Dec 06
to my husbands family i loved them very much i never thinh that this is not my family but from the begining there is conflict between my husband and my father in law my brother in law and sis in law never give respect to their elder brother my mother in law never talks sweetly with my husband there is always create tensions that it should be very difficult to live in the house every one has misunderstanding towards and dont want to clear my husband can not express his feelings he is always frustrate from his life and always said that i want to die give me poison i am always in critical situation my life is fully disturbed evryone interfere in our personal matters i have 2 childeren they are also suffering from this situation 3 months before from some reason i had left the house my father inlaw did nit given me the chidrens and my husband never oppose them and never stand with me i had gone to my parents house but without childrens it is very difficult to live so i make a patch up and than came to the house again but the relations between everyone is now finished but i m trying my best i am not interfaering between them now i have realized that in this world no body is with you accept your self so i am doing job and keep my self busy from all rubbish tensions but the tensions are still there no body give us financial support if we are living with them they saying we are giving you food we are giving you shelter what do you want extra.is this enough to live. my usbands is working with my father inlaw amd brother in law it is joint business but they did not given us any thing not even fees of my children i dont know the soulution but i am still leaving with them
@utsadetti (4593)
• United States
24 Dec 06
just don't care.
@sharon613 (2324)
• United States
24 Dec 06
not let them into my life.
• Canada
24 Dec 06
It is real difficult situation, but it is ok if your husband is on your side.
@banta78 (4335)
• India
24 Dec 06
I think most important is the relationship the couple have. Husband and wife should thrash out their differences first on family issues and the likes and dislikes and solve them amicably without interference of either families. If the couple is on the same wavelength, then it easy to have a working relationship with each other's family without having to like them. I don't know whether you can forgive them or not but try to work your difference with his family, be on talking terms and see if his family accepts you atleast are on talking terms and give you respect as daughter in law if you respect them. Hope things will work out for your and your hubby's sake. I think it is wise to let somethings pass, or minor irritants to not let disturb your mental peace and happiness as couple.
• Philippines
24 Dec 06
Actually you dont need to please them because in GOD's eyes your obligation is to your husband. For as long as you have your hubby your good. Just ignore all the negative things that your in laws are doing. Every time the idea of it come to your mind... refocus. because if not then you will end up that you and your hubby fighting which is not good. Dont let them ruin your relationshp with your hysband. anyway it is your husband you married. NOT THEM. Forgive them? Yes! you should. That is the only for you to unload all the pain in your heart. Heres the trick.. Continue to love your husband, do your obligations to him us his Wife and if you have kids, as mother to them. continue showing yor in laws good things eventhough they continue to do bad things on you and pray that GOD touched their hearts so that they may be able to accept you. Do not mke a move to talk about it with your husband nor with your in laws as this is a very delicate issue to discuss with any one of them. discuss this with GOD. just continue do good things in response to all their bad things done to you and assure in God's time, everything will end up ok with you and your family. thats a promise. Ive been through that before, my wife and I were not accepted by our respected families but we were able to overcome that situation. Always remember that in any situation we might be into whether its good or bad but especially on bad situations... WHY WORRY WHEN YOU CAN PRAY! PRAYER TO THE FATHER THROUGH JESUS CHRIST ALWAYS WORKS.
• India
24 Dec 06
see i am a lot youger than u are so the things I would say might not that be good..but with whatever little i know its really important to be of a forgiving nature..and there are times when u need to show trust in others..as u righ tpain would heal in time..but don't u think proper intervation would quicken the healing process..i am simply saying that there might be differences but they are mest sorted out through talking..besides u would always find some little moments where u can show how much u care for ur family..seize those moments..
• India
24 Dec 06
It happened with me also.. I cannot forget my mother in-law she never ever did good for me.. She never even want my husband to talk to me... From inside your heart it's very difficuly to forgive on all those incident in-laws dis bad..For me it's impossible.. But just for the sake of humanism. I patched up with them...I never said sorry or anything.. just went there and start talking normally... I sent first my 2.5 yrs old son.. Kids help lot in this situation but I would advise you (from my experience) respect them do your duty towards them but be in your limit.. dun let them interfere in your matter... coz' at their age they will never change...
• Pakistan
24 Dec 06
Just no way out lady!I live in a house where there are 9 women and 13 men,but believe me 80% felt hatred amongst themselves,though i am a male and i enjoy studyin different behaviours that i came across but the human nature is actually to be blamed,people hate each other out of some threat,that they feel the one who they hate would steal away something very precious to them....and they feel hatred when they find no other way,but no problem you better take ur husband into confidence and tell him each and every move,be patient!!
@vmoore709 (1102)
• United States
24 Dec 06
I hate to say it, but I wouldn't deal with them until they were ready to apologize. If someone has that big of an issue with me, I don't need to be around it. It's their issue, not mine. Eventually, they're bound to get over whatever their problem is.
@abhisree (521)
• India
24 Dec 06
i do not think it is quite possible or practical to ignore them. because u will feel guilty eventually..so instaed of that let time heal things a little bit and i would suggest u should behave as nothing ever happened.that ways they might see the point and dear dont feel bad for making your husband go lengths..am sure he did it because he loves u..u should be happy and proud of him..
@hcprasad (1013)
• India
24 Dec 06
Time is the only solution to heal as you said. Be cool.
@smille (831)
• India
24 Dec 06
just ignore them its universal truth that our in laws hate us.
@Zhanec (1653)
• Malaysia
24 Dec 06
if i were in ur position,i don;t mind to reunite for my husband sake.Just give it another try to make thing alriht again.However,before hand,do try to find out the reason that ur in-laws dislike u.Find the main problems ,then only start to plan how to solve it.
@istanto (8572)
• Indonesia
24 Dec 06
I think you have to try be nice to your husband family, if they still can't like you just ignore them at least you try, patience is the key to make someone anger burns out.
• United States
24 Dec 06
If the feud had created a deep wound in your heart, lie low for sometime.The time will come, you will meet again and your ready to forgive and smile at them again. Pray.
• India
24 Dec 06
its sad .. bt if u wanna earn money on mylot then i can help u to earn money on mylot... bt for that..u have to join under me. and ill help u to earn money on mylot. my email id is anshul_jain_friend@yahoo.co.in u can contact me at this id
@bugbaby (1788)
• Indonesia
24 Dec 06
it's very complicated if I in your position. The best way I can do just go away and find out a new life. I did do that since 2001 and now I live with someone who loves me and care with me
@kawillow74 (1417)
• United States
24 Dec 06
my mother in law and i have not gotten along for years she made comments about me cutting the string to my kids well i am sorry i love them adn i will try and protect them no matter what but i finally just told my husband i will just agree with her and let it at that so we can try and get along well it has been working me have been getting along well the last year or so oh though i still get mad at her i just let it go for my husband sake i know it had to hurt him when i would say mean things about her and life is just to short. good luck i know it can be hard.
@catchre (407)
• Philippines
24 Dec 06
First of all, what triggered this family feud? Why don't they like you? And second, it is your husband's duty to bridge the gap and open the communication line. The same goes for you, when it is your family who is having problems with your husband.