Depressed and don't know where to go now

United States
December 28, 2006 2:04pm CST
It's a long story but I'll keep it brief. My husband was in the Marine Corp for 5 yrs and when he got out he started working at Maytag. He was there, it would have been 11 yrs in April. At the first of the year they found out that Whirlpool was buying Maytag out, and they were going to shut the doors. Well the day finally came 3 days before Christmas they shut the doors. Not only is my husband out of a job, but 1,000 other people are, including my mom. Who has worked for the company for 43 yrs. Note this is a very small town and this was the only job within a 2 hour drive that paid $15 hour or higher. We've become accustomed to living on this income, especially with having 3 small children. Now we don't have that. I'm just feeling really depressed and concerned and don't know what to do. He will get severance pay, and they will pay for him to go to school and he can draw unemployment, but I feel like they just tore our family upside down. Anyone else ever go through something like this, have any advice? I don't want to talk to a doctor about being put on any medicines as I've done those in the past and didn't care for the side effects. So I'm looking into herbal type remedies. Thanks for reading.
9 people like this
40 responses
@loved1 (5336)
• United States
28 Dec 06
That was really bad news to get right before Christmas. It must make you feel very insecure having kids to support and no income. This sounds very similar to a situation that happened here in Iowa. Is that where you are from? If so, let me know and maybe I can offer some suggestions. What kind of skills did your husband develop in the Marine Corps? Has he thought about checking with the recruiting office to see if there are any opportunities for ex-military people?
3 people like this
• United States
28 Dec 06
We are actually from Illinois. The Maytag located in herrin. He worked on amphibian assault vehicles in the marines. He hasn't checked into the recruiting office thing, i'll mention that to him thank you. I appreciate all of you taking the time to read and respond to my post.
2 people like this
• United States
28 Dec 06
I am truly sorry for your predicament. One thing your husband might check into is his pension from the Marines. Like the previous poster stated check out ebay. You'd be surprised what people buy on ebay. You also might want to check into of these work at business. Also check out www.chacha.com
3 people like this
• South Africa
28 Dec 06
Change your Focus, Focus on YOU and the Positive in Life - www.work2dream.com
3 people like this
• United States
28 Dec 06
Yes thats what I'm working on now. Thank you for replying. and I'll check out the link.
2 people like this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
28 Dec 06
Im sorry you are having problems and are depresssed. But try to be happy just remember you still have your life and your family. Be thankful for what you have in your life. Hope this helps.
2 people like this
• United States
29 Dec 06
Thank you so much, you are absolutely right. I'm very thankful that I do have my health and my family. If it weren't for them, I would be absolutely lost. It's just very stressful right now.
1 person likes this
• Belgium
29 Dec 06
I would've said the same thing as TerryZ. Just try to see it as a new start, the new year is almost here. I hope for you and your family that everyone will come into place soon enough ;)
• United States
29 Dec 06
Thank you. That's what i'm working on and I really hope everyone a wonderful new start in the new year.
@mikaghi (389)
• United States
28 Dec 06
plz don't feel sorry for urself..count ur blessings and hope for better future. this trend of mass layoff is here to stay so its better for ur family that ur husband goes to school and gets trained on hig-tech or high skilled job like computers or health care. manufacturing job will slowly move out of america. i also suggest that u should also get training on skilled areas so that u can go back to work. don't rely on the old economy industry.
• United States
29 Dec 06
Yes he's planning on going back to school in the medical/healthcare field. Not sure for what just yet. Currently I work chacha & another more stable job, but it just doesn't add up to what he was making. I would love to get some kind of training and do something but I just don't know what right now.
1 person likes this
@lucy02 (5017)
• United States
28 Dec 06
I'm so sorry. There is no good time for this but especially not right at Christmas. If you're looking into herbal remedies ,st. john's wort is pretty good. Also get plenty of exercise and try meditation. Watch your diet too. Try to stay away from sugar. You are in my prayers.
2 people like this
• United States
29 Dec 06
Thanks, That's for sure. I read about the st johns wort, will look into it tomorrow. I've been walking alot on my treadmill and trying to watch what i eat, but can't seem to lay off the sugar/caffeine. Guess I have to take it in steps.
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Dec 06
Sorry, I don't have any advice but I'm here if you need someone to talk to.
2 people like this
• United States
29 Dec 06
Thank you, I really do appreciate that.
• India
29 Dec 06
bratsquad3, u're condition is really depressing..but there is nothing you can do about it now..the best thing u CAN do is to try working somewhere else..and dont ever let this affect ur family
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 06
Thanks. We are really trying not to. We are trying to keep everything happy and normal.
@SplitZip (1490)
• Portugal
29 Dec 06
Lots of factories have been closing here too. Maybe you could consider moving to a different place. Above all, try not to immediately spend the severance pay your husband is receiving. A lot of people do that, they get a considerable sum and they blow it away on unnecessary things and are left with nothing. I believe working from home does not help when you are depressed, especially with 3 kids. Try to find a little time to go out, even if it's just for a walk. Good luck!
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 06
Thanks, thats what i've been saying, or at least take some of it and pay off debts. Then save the rest. Thanks for you comments. I definitely try to get out at least once a week alone for a little while. But has been quite hard lately.
• Philippines
29 Dec 06
Im so sorry to hear your story but for sure you can be able to overcome your problem. anyway no problem is permanent. I dont know exactly the situation there but maybe you can think of a small business that will not require big capital. for example, if you have a driveway or even if you dont if youre allowed to wash your car on the side streets, you can start a small car wash business in your neighborhood. members of your family can help you out on that. or you can convert your house into a small day care center wherein your neighbors may leave their kids with you as they work during the day and they can pick them up when they get home for a fee of course. small business but it will definitely help. also try to cut some of your expenses until such time that you are able to recover financially. Hope these suggestions would be able to help you.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 06
We have covenants here, so the daycare thing is out unfortunately unless I could find ways around it. It's pretty cold right now, bit too cold for a car wash. But thank you for your thoughts & suggestions. I appreciate that you took time out to read and post. Thank you.
1 person likes this
• India
29 Dec 06
dont worry about the past... think about your future..
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 06
I'm trying. I really am. Thanks for your comments.
• Philippines
29 Dec 06
You just probably have a pessimistic attitude. Everything happens for a reason. For now you might not know what God's reasons are but eventually you will and you will say to yourself. Glad those things happened, it was a blessing in disguise afterall. As for being accustomed to living on that income. I think God wants you to realize that life is not all about having material things. It's all about being thankful about what you still have after what happened. You still have your family with you right? Thank God for that, otherwise how will you be able to survive without them by yourside. Remember the tsunami victims? I'm sure that if they're given a choice between money and their loved ones, they'll choose their loved ones instead. Now cheer up, be happy and show your family your happy you still have them.
• United States
29 Dec 06
You said it exactly. Thanks for your comments. I am definitely a glass is half empty and not half full person. I'm trying to change that. I really am. Unfortunately I haven't yet, but I'm working on it. I was going to say i'm not worried about material things, but in essence I guess I am, because without that income I don't know how we'll pay our mortgage, car payment etc. But you know what, you are all absolutely right. I would rather have my children & our health then money anyday of the week.
@Stephanie5 (2947)
• United States
29 Dec 06
Oh honey, I'm so sorry. I really don't have any suggestions other than try to look at the bright side of things, which I know has to be so hard right now. But you still have him and now you have a lot more time with him to spend with you and the kids, he gets to further his education to get a better job and you have those wonderful babies!!! And you still do have some type of income coming in! It's not so bad. It's going to be hard, but in the long run, it will probably be a whole bunch better! Maybe you could look into relocating, I don't know the whole situation, but it's something to keep in mind. I wish you the best of luck and I will pray for your family and your mother! Keep your head up sweetie, you have to be strong for those babies!
• United States
29 Dec 06
Thank you very much. I really appreciate that. Relocating is definitely one thing we have talked about. And it might be one of our only options as there really isn't much around here.
@caribe (2465)
• United States
28 Dec 06
Yes, this happened to my husband. He took advantage of the opportunity of going to school which they offered to pay for. He went and changed his whole career and is much happier for it because he is doing something that he truly enjoys. They usually pay for starting up a small business, as well. You might think about taking advantage of that also. Try to look on the bright side of it. Many people lose their jobs and are not offered any kind of severance package so you are one of the more fortunate ones that loses their jobs. I know it looks gloomy, but take those lemons and make lemonade. Good Luck to you.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 06
Thanks for your comments, yes thats for sure. He's nervous but excited to go back to school. I'm nervous for him as well. It's been a long time since he was in school. Hahaha. He has been trying to start up a construction business for a while just no funds to really start up one. And his severance package he is very lucky to get one, but we don't know when he'll see it. He's been on work comp for work related injuries and they will not give it to him until his doctor medically clears him. So we don't know for sure when that will be. We are definitely trying to make lemons out of lemonade. :) I love that phrase, I heard it the other day on tv and then several times on here today. Must be a sign.
1 person likes this
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
29 Dec 06
This is a common occurrence. But you will survive it. Do not let this current trouble stop you and your husband from moving forward. One thing you might have done was when you learned about the plant closing, was to come come up with a survival plan. Figure out what your husband can go to school to learn. You may be able to find a part time job to help out. With 3 kids, that might not be possible. Unless you have some skills, making a lot of money on the Internet right away might not be feasible. Decide right now that you will create some plans to cut your expenses and stabilize your income. Do whatever you can to get past your depression. Believe it or not, you still have a lot going for you. It sounds like you have a wonderful husband and 3 marvelous kids. I want to feel sorry about your situation, but that will not replace your income. One thing I have learned from working the last 35 years is that it is a good idea when times are good to prepare for when they might not be so good. I have been in similar situations but refuse to let them get me down. Try to see an end to this situation and keep a positive outlook.
• United States
29 Dec 06
Thank you. That's one thing I regret in our past, we never really saved up for a what if situation. Now we are paying for it. I can guarantee this wont happen again. Unfortunatley we are one of the families that live paycheck to paycheck. But you are right, its time I step up to the plate and take responsibility for things. Thanks for all of the wonderful and inspiring comments.
@_hope_ (3906)
• Australia
29 Dec 06
Im sorry to hear this so close to christmas and all but you have to think of your self and your young family needs you .It will be hard for a time but you will get through this . You may have to see your dr and not all medication has side effects you need to go back to your dr and find a medication that does not . Try and start a support group for the mothers of those that are effected if you know a few just start with a few . Just talking to someone else going through the same situation does really help.Im sorry i can`t help you with herbal treatments as i do not know of any but i wish you luck for the future and hope that things work out for the better.
• United States
29 Dec 06
thank you very much. i really appreciate it. Yes there are lots of people that have started getting together every friday but i don't agree with where they get together and how they do it. They go to a bar & drink. Not my idea of a way to cope. But i do discuss it often with my husband and mom, and the people we run into daily. Maybe I'll work on something for those that don't wish to go to a bar. Thanks for the comments.
@abhisree (521)
• India
29 Dec 06
well i guess you have got plenty of advice already..all that i would say is that it is tough time lady, but this is the time to show your vigor and courage..i know it can be quite tiring struggling day in and day out with the hope, the ray of light but trust me it will pay off..it surely will.. keep in mind that every night is followed by a sunrise, a new day and a new start...its just a matter of time honey and you will see everything getting back to place slowly..have patience..
• United States
29 Dec 06
thank you. i'm trying to hold out hope. i've begun the search for him on jobs and opportunities. tahnks for you comments.
• Philippines
29 Dec 06
look at the positive side of things, you still have your family, be strong for your kids... and your husband they will get streght from you so try to make ends meet for a while, spend your severance pay wisely and have faith that everything will be ok...
• United States
29 Dec 06
this is for certain. i'm trying and we are definitely stretching every penny. thanks for your comments.
@sanell (2114)
• United States
29 Dec 06
okay well first of all, yes, My husband and I have been through this twice now, the first time we did not have any children but it threw me for a loop and he got really depressed, but we knew it would be okay, we both were able to pull ourselves out of it without having to go on medicines...and I am predisposed to depression myself, so being able ot work through that was nice and easy....well he took a bit of a pay cut which was unfortunate but I took on a job and we got pregnant, literally 2 montsh after having our baby he got laid off, and worse he was laid off by family members (Long story but want to keep it breif) so now he has lost all faith, his dad said to move home so we moved back from Chicago to Seattle, WA he was so depressed and we were fighting a lot because he could nt get over the fact that his uncles had laid him off (they did not have a good reason other than the fact that it was the family business and they saw him as a threat so they laid him off so that their son-in-laws could take over the business)... Anyway, he went into a major depression and was not looking for work at all, I was beside myself I did not know what to do, we determined that i would not work to stay at home with the kids but I thought I needed to get a job I just did not know what to do with our baby at the time. Well, time went on, he was convinced that he and his dad would open up a place together but that never worked out, we were running out of money and I was really getting frantic, this time I am pregnant again and have not even a 2 year old. well finally I made a change After my second daughter was born and I was tired of seeing my husband IN BED every day doing nothing but feeling sorry for himself, I took it upon myself to start a home based business, I knew it would not be easy but it was the only way I could make a difference and still be at home with our kids. So far I am half way to my Director status, and things are going swimmingly, I am not making the money that my goal is set at yet, but I know that I will get there soon and I am excited by that. My husband did finally get a job and we are moving back to Chicago, so things could not go any better, I think him seeing me start to put things together got him to also realize that he needed to move on too. Things work out in the end, and it will be okay! Just take a deep breath and know that in the end it will work out!
• United States
29 Dec 06
Wow i'm sorry that you've gone through it twice and pregnant as well. I'm sorry for your hard times. It's rough, thankfully I'm not pregnant. As that would just bring on added stress for everyone including the baby. Glad that you took it on yourself to do something, good for you. That's wonderful, glad its working out for you. Wish you lots of success and happiness. Thanks for your comments. Gives me hope. Makes me really wanna start up my own business.
@anjuscor (1266)
• India
29 Dec 06
I am sorry that happened. But Be happy, just because you do not have the job, it doesnt mean you have lost everything. Think positive, be positive. Life goes on, you will better opportunities. You will get find your husband having a new job very soon. Focus on your goal, you will get that in your hand. Work from home, start your own business with a little bit of investment. You will grow slowly.
• United States
29 Dec 06
thank you, i do currently work 2 jobs from home. i'm looking into starting up a business. Just have to look deep and find something that we can financially afford to do.
• Romania
29 Dec 06
Is not good becouse you are deprees.When you are depress you wan't to cry everytime and you'r always on stress and nervous.You say that you have 3 children's.I imagine that is a verry difficult situation but this children mustn't see that you suffer so for they'r good you must learn to smile, to be happy that all of you are ok- healthy, and that the problem will pass.In the end it will be ok you'll see everything is passing.
• United States
29 Dec 06
thank you. yes itmakes me want to cry quite often, but i hold back as i don't want my kids to see. kids don't need to see that side of life at an early age. so i'm holding my head up high and trying to stay postiive. thanks for your comments.