Marrying the first guy you meet

United States
December 29, 2006 7:28pm CST
What do you think about an 18 year old who just started dating when she turned 18 (last month) and has only dated one guy and now is set to marry him? Is it possible to fall for the only guy you ever dated and is it safe to think that he is THE one? She met him at work and I found out later that she was getting off early and sitting in a parked car talking to him. And so that's how she knows him so good. He is like 24 years old and he's had his fun and is ready to settle down. She is just starting. I think she is in love with him saying he is in love with her. So what do you think about this?
9 people like this
88 responses
@JashleyB (1441)
• United States
30 Dec 06
Hmm, I don't know about this. It doesn't seem like you would want to marry the first guy that comes along. Unfortunately if talking to her about it doesn't help aka she has a hard head then I guess the only thing to do is PRAY. haha. Sorry that I wasn't very helpful. I don't have any kids yet. ;)
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Dec 06
Yeah she is hard headed and thinks she knows it all. And prayer is really the ONLY thing I have to count on. thanx for your response!
@lulylove (1561)
• Brazil
30 Dec 06
I think as you I believe that it did not like first it very guy. But I think that it must choose what it thinks that will be better for it.
@ganda11 (320)
• Philippines
30 Dec 06
Yes it is possible. Actually my parents have the same story. My mom only dated one guy and that is my father. I believe that there is no right age and even if you have dated many guys or just one guy in your life but if you feel that you have found the right guy for you and you now that he/ she is a gift from God, then why not marry her/him. If you know he/she is the one.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Dec 06
you sound really smart. And very encouraging. thanx alot!
@emmet18 (1116)
• Romania
30 Dec 06
If you say that he is to sttle down then there is no danger. Maybe it is love, you don't know what she feels about him. Time will rezo;ve every thing. Best of luck!
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Dec 06
thanx alot!
• United States
30 Dec 06
I think its possible but not the best idea, because sometimes by only dating one person you don't realize how much more u could love someone else. I've dated multiple guys in the past and one serious relationship and at the time i was dumped i felt my life was over. Now i am in a relationship with my boyfriend for more than a year and i realize how stupid i was back then to think i even had anything great in that past relationship. When you meet the right person, you know. So it is possible but its unwise. First loves can be exciting and i think your friend is probably just infatuated with the idea of love. She should take things slow and really get to know the person before making any huge commitments. Hope this helps...
• United States
30 Dec 06
Thanx for the comment. You make alot of sense!
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
30 Dec 06
It could work. My sister married the only guy she ever dated. That was 28 years ago. I dated one girl along time ago. I was her first date. We stayed together for a while. After we broke up, the next guy she dated ended up marrying her. That was 32 years ago. But nowadays, people seem eager to get married without worrying how long it might last. I think it is possible for any two people to make a marriage work. It depends on the person and how well they know themselves and what they want in a partner.
• United States
30 Dec 06
yeah, I guess it could end up being right. Nowadays people go into marriage with the thought that if it doesn't work I can get a divorce. When i got married, to me, that was never an option, you know? Thanx1
• United States
31 Dec 06
I think it's fine. She's old enough to make her own mistakes and learn lessons. I think it's totally possible to fall in love and settle down with the first person you meet and seriously date. I hope she has a long happy life with him!
1 person likes this
@kareng (7986)
• United States
31 Dec 06
It's called live and learn. She will have to make her own decisions in life and the consequences of them.
30 Dec 06
I'm still in love with a guy I met when I was 18 and that was eleven years ago, so you never know what's in the future; just because he's the first guy she's really got to know doesn't mean he *isn't* perfect for her. Still I think it would be a mistake for her to marry him right now. What's the rush? She can still be his steady girlfriend without being his wife. If he's pressuring her to get married after only a month then she should be very wary of him. They need to slow things right down and see what happens. If they're still together in five years time then maybe they're right for each other, but why commit yourself when it's far too soon to tell? They can't lose anything by waiting, apart from the possibility of an expensive divorce :)
• Canada
30 Dec 06
There is no right or wrong? I know someone who got married to her first boyfriend and broke up 20 years later.I know someone who had arranged marriage and they are happily ever after. You can only support her, guide her through. She have to make her own choice, or learn from her mistakes. Just be there for her :)
• Canada
30 Dec 06
I think it is rare that you can find love at that age and for it to last forever.Now a days nothing is for sure in life.If both of them are ready and stable than i say go for it.She is still young but if she is mature and knows what she wants.If both of them are secure financially and stable than nothing can stop them.People must take risks and learn from their mistakes.
1 person likes this
@Kelly16 (253)
• Philippines
30 Dec 06
My position is that if I love someone and found it and the guy has a stable job and able to support a family and loves me too then I'll marry. My mother was 18 yrs old when she married my father who is 24 (it's a co-incidence that their ages are the same when my parents get married, that's why I responded to this). May parents are married now for 39 yrs. and still very in-love and happy.
1 person likes this
@DavidReedy (2411)
• United States
30 Dec 06
It could be genuine. Not everyone has to "play the field". That's just a very popular misconception. Of course, so is the entire area of young Love. They could be heading for disaster, but it could be quite real. There is no such thing as "the one" really. It's up to two people who really want to have a relationship with one another, and who want it to work. I'm 27 years old, and I know people in their 30's and 40's who don't want to settle down. If these two youngins aren't rushing into it and misleading themselves, then more power to 'em.
@melody1011 (1665)
• India
30 Dec 06
personally i feel, the more time you spend with a person before marriage, the better. You can know his likes and dislikes etc etc and see if you are willing to compromise on the same. However, if your friend is determined to go ahead and get married you cannot stop her. The ideal age for a guy to get married these days is around 28-32 and for a girl about 24-26. But thats just what i feel. But some of these marriages do work so maybe your friend's marriage will work as wel. Wish her luck and be there for her when she needs you. All the best
1 person likes this
@nyka08 (411)
• Philippines
30 Dec 06
Maybe it is possible that the first guy you meet is whom your meant to be with forever. in this world, nothing is absolute. there is really no rules on who your are supposed to marry right?! so i guess it really depends on the person..on how she feels and on what she would choose. maybe in her case, she feels that she found herself in him.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
30 Dec 06
for me, there is nother wrong with it, as long as you trust each other and u understand what the true meaning of love is. trust, understanding and helping each other for good relationship.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Dec 06
Actually, I have a rather traditional view on this - if I could do it all over again, I would choose not to date until I was ready to get married. I think it would cause me a lot less heartache. So, the issue of marrying the first man she dates, I'm not sure I have that much of a problem with - it's what the family thinks of this guy? Is he good to her? Is he a good man? If the only objection is that she's never dated anyone else, I don't see it as a problem...because eventually, there will be a time when the love goes away and you have to choose to love your mate because of the vow you made and not because you just don't "feel" anything anymore. Love is an action in my mind. But my other concern would be, does SHE know that? Is she mature enough to be married?
@pinklilly (3446)
• Australia
30 Dec 06
I think it can be possible but it may not work out however but just be supportive that is the best thing you can do if you want her to be happy. She will learn in time let her Love.....
1 person likes this
• Philippines
30 Dec 06
you have to talk to her ask her what she really want, and what made her decide that fast..if they tell you and assure you that they really know each other then let them do whatever they want what you have to do is to guide them..whenever theyre having difficulties or trials
1 person likes this
• India
30 Dec 06
I don't see any problem in this. We tend judge other people's decisions from our point of view. It's like when you go to buy a Christmas gift, the first thing that you lay your eyes on could be the best. You don't really HAVE to look for all the options available. Besides, you never know by the time you come back to that thing after checking all your options, it might have been picked up by someone else. So guys, my take on this topic is, if you see a person or a thing that you just fall in love instantly, do NOT let it go.
1 person likes this
30 Dec 06
i think she should have more time with the guy. 1 month and you want to marry someone.... thats just plain stupid.
• United States
30 Dec 06
yeah, that's what I think too.