Refusing adults anything.

It's tough to deal with and every situation is different, so there's always a difference answer/response. I used to let poeple walk all over me, but not anymore. It took a lot of work. I think it helped when I got into health care and started working with elderly people. At first I would let them do/say what they want and I do/say anything to make them happy. After a while of working in healthcare, and some training about it, I realized that they are just people, like us. Just because they're older, they shouldn't get away with things. Older people can be just as untrustworthy and deciptful as everyone else. They get away with it when people let them do it. If you don't let them geat away with it, they stop doing it, and then you eventually have a better relationship with that person. That's how it's worked for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect with it. I don't let people get away with things, yes, but I still have a problem speaking out for myself as I'm a people-pleaser. People are the same, no matter what they're age. Some elders act worse than they are just for attention. Some are meaner because that was the only way they ever got attention, so they continue that. You can break the cycle. Just don't try to do it all at once. Just like anything else, you should just stop cold-turkey. You need to makes changes bit by bit, so it becomes a habit. Once you've made a small bit a habit, then do another bit, and so on. That's the part that's hardest, is to not do it all at once. I'm sure you'll be fine. Just take your time and do it step by step. (God, I hope that didn't sound too preachy. I wasn't trying to preach).

of course you can differ in thought from them but you also have to be open-minded to their ideas and try to consider them because you can't discount the fact that they are more experienced and mature than you. but if you should find that your idea is better then try not to argue and indulge into a heated debate. if you want to make your point then be mature enough to say it politely to them. i know any act of respect from your part will be accorded respect from your elders.

Some adults view lack of deference from teenagers as rudeness. This can be down to several reasons: a culture which promotes this attitude, parents or older people who use that accusation as a passive-agressive way of always winning arguments (in their eyes anyway), or the way that some teenagers express themselves CAN sometimes seem rude or pushy, or even arrogant (even when it's not meant like that). I guess the best way to deal with that is to either think about your wording - make your point, bearing in mind others' right to disagree, and present the evidence - why you think what you think. You ARE entitled to your own opinions, no matter what other people say, but when it's likely to cause offense (intended or not), it might be a good idea to be diplomatic. Presenting your ideas in a thoughtful way, and telling them why you think the way you do (thinking your response through first is always a good idea) might help, and if they still give you crap, then just leave it by saying "well, we'll have to agree to disagree on that one".

hello friend... all things u r telling differs frm person 2 person... respecting elders is different thing n believing in ourselves is different thing... both have its own importance... so its upto u ho u handle situations

I totally understand what you are trying to say through the discussion board, probably beacause i somehow also feel the way you do. I surely agree with you that elders are not always "right" in what they say or what they do. Its a dynamic world and everything here keeps on changing or rather should undergo the process of change from time to time. But unfortunately, i think somewhere down the line some credit should also be given to us...the youngsters of today and the future of tomorrow. Rather than ignoring us all the time, some appreciation or atleast a thought should be given to our views, our thoughts, our ambitions, our vision! And then if we are wrong anywhere, we should be corrected on that point. But what actually happens is, that elders do what they want to do, work they way they want to, and do loads of other things which they feel are right(but are wrong practically) . And if we try to even voice our opinion over it, we get tagged as "you dont have much experience in this matter, please keep away" duh! i just have one request to our elders, we too are existing in this world, we too have some correct viewpoints which can be atleast taken note of if not implemented. By labelling us as rude or arrogant or inexperienced will not stop us from refusing whatever wrong that happens. We are voicing our opinion and will continue to do so...till the voice is heard! Im not offending any of my elders, please donot take my words as harsh because all i want to say is that, give our freedom of thought and expression some meaningful value. Thank you.

It is all a matter of social conditioning . You are taught right from a very young age to be like that , to listen to follow . It is noce that you respect elders but principles come first . Act with that in mind.